Day 26 ✿ Backpack | What emotional baggage are you carrying that you no longer need? So many! I feel

Day 26 ✿ Backpack | What emotional baggage are you carrying that you no longer need? So many! I feel like I’ve already shed a ton of emotional baggage over the past few years, but somehow, there’s still more to go, haha. If I had to choose one, it would be the belief that “I need to work twice as hard as everyone else because I’m not smart enough.” Growing up, I always felt inadequate when it came to living up to societal expectations. As an Asian, I was ‘expected’ to be good at maths, but I wasn’t, and that early on shaped the story I told myself—that in order to survive, I’d have to study twice as hard and work twice as much as everyone else. It made younger me feel like the world wasn’t fair. Even though I know now that this isn’t true, becoming self-employed meant that I need to constantly remind myself that “I am intelligent while having fun” and “I deserve goodness” #peachtober24backpack #mindfulart #playtherapy #illustrationaday #stayplayful #beplayful #art #illustration #artist #illustrator #artober #inktober #flpinktober #peachtober #peachtober24 #pendrawing #drawingchallenge #drawdaily #dailydrawing

[Vexillogically]

Right, I guess I’ll drop it all here then. When I was younger there were constant arguments in my house, because my brother(let’s call him J) didn’t like that he was adopted and wanted to go back to his “True” family. J’s biological dad has been in prison for his whole life due to multiple armed robberies and other stuff too and J’s biological mom killed her self a couple of years ago by overdosing. Not to mention the fact that J was on drugs, smoking, and was drinking too. Anyway J has been in and out of jail for years after he tried to fight my other brother (let’s call him C) and got absolutely beat by C.

Now years later (I’m in high school) I have panic attacks, extreme insomnia, and a terrible memory(which is a subconscious trauma response). Oh, and a Functional Neurological Disorder(FND) which destroys my ability to walk whenever I’m: sick, stressed, panicking, and in pain. Also when an elderly friend of mine died I couldn’t remember much about him which mentally tore me to shreds.

So my life’s great, how’s yours?