My Year of Rest and Relaxation is oddly comforting

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh is a novel that I found strangely cathartic and liberating. Let's talk about why.

*****

[sLePpInG]

The whole time I was reading this I thought "this is so awful, someone help her" but also "god, I wish I could completely detach myself from the world like that"
also the absolute anxiety of knowing that certain event is coming, and what will happen when it does...

[FishDinners]

I love the irony of her drinking coffee on the few days that shes awake. For me, this book is simple. Its a book about the intersection of capitalist and feminine alienation. People say she was throwing her life away, but she already was, and so are we. The social milieu has stripped life of its value, so throwing it away becomes both meaningful and inconsequential.

[eduardosierra]

For me, it's mostly a book about grief. The main character is grieving her parents and that, for me, explains her journey.

[DesireePowell-nz]

I think it’s about distracting yourself from pain. Every character in the book spends their life distracting themselves from some form of pain. Reva has no self love, Trevor is insecure, her parents and their marriage, and of course, her own grief of loss. Even sleep in the beginning is an avoidance strategy and it’s only when her true subconscious is let to have full control that she faces pain and heals. The message is alluded to when she said “pain is not the only touch stone of growth” and goes into her big sleep induced awakening. The book ends with her seeing Reva falling and noticing that she was beautiful and was “awake” - meaning she wasn’t avoiding the pain/fear of death but proactively jumping right into it.

[anasofiabracamonte]

This Book had me thinking (a lot) about how our generation cannot come up with another form of rebellion other than "rest", wich is subversive in its own. I can only think in our actual obsession with productivity, and the absolute availability of our bodies to the system .
I really loved it, and I reiterate what I said in your Instagram post: the naps I took while reading this book were fire 🔥 😍! Love your channel!

[Guguchina]

I loved this book and also found it comforting. For me, I read it when I was experiencing mild burn out/depression. It told me it's okay to waste time and I emphasised with the main character, detach from the world and literally do nothing. Though maybe I wouldn't recommend choosing an enabling therapist to get access to crazy amounts of drugs... and there is a lot to say about the character's privilege and narcissism. But despite those criticisms of the book, I think it shows that even if you have everything you could ever need, doesn't mean you haven't had a hard life. Mental illness is indiscriminate.

Dr Tuttle is interesting and maybe speaks to US drug medicine culture and attitudes to mental health. But also the protagonist chooses her because she is a bad therapist. In some ways DR tuttle is an extension of the main character. Instead of delving into the past of the character's problems to figure out where her lethargy for life has come from, Dr Tuttle allows her to avoid them. But then again, though the main characters ways of treating her problems with drugs and sleep are questionable, she is successful in achieving her rebirth by the end.

[fireAmber]

Something I enjoyed about this book is the focus on art. I enjoyed how the narrator used their art history background and how that influenced the writing of the book. When she would describe things she has seen it felt like she was describing a work of art. I felt that she was trying to make her life imitate art. The fact that she was described as beautiful made me think of the beautiful muses we see in art. A painting is even on the cover of the book which makes me believe that the book is meant to be seen with an art lens.

[tiarwa]

Being a recovering addict that had a drug of choice in tranquilizers and hypnotics (ambien especially) this book was very evocative of my mindset, and what I was trying to accomplish during that period in my life. Using rest and relaxation as a stopgap, or a buffer to cope with ever increasing amounts of anxiety and not being aware or shirt how to handle a situation is a really impactful way to express what the author was trying to say, at least for me. And I’m aware that my personal life experiences heavily influenced the way that I digested the book.

[meganmurderpint]

I felt it was a commentary on the 90s and the end of the “sleepwalking” many people were doing as 9/11 happened. The fact that anyone could do nothing for a full year with seemingly no lasting issues with her health. At first I thought it was simply undiagnosed depression (and to a degree, it might be) but reflecting about it, I think it’s more. Being indifferent to others suffering, being unafraid of mixing as many drugs as possible, and the boldness of her words to people around her.

All the characters are in their own world. They don’t hear each other or consider anyone else’s feelings.

9/11 was the horrific wake up call for so many.

[gracedifford]

I loved this when I read it. I felt comforted because I actually spent almost a year in a similar way during a breakdown. Without the financial backing though. Mine was funded by statutory sick pay and an overdraft. Yet I was living alone in a city apartment I couldn't afford, signed off work with depression. I couldn't access the kind I drugs she did but I was prescribed sleeping tablets and bought nytol, id cycle these and sleep through days at a time. I allowed people to come to my flat and Id sit there and not really engage. My experience was vastly different but similar enough that I felt seen. My experience wasn't a choice, it just happened and became that way. I then read this about 2 years later.

[draculena]

it’s also interesting that she is giving up the last of her golden/peak years (as a woman, her peak years in society are late teens to late twenties) to sleep. she’s rich, conventionally attractive, and so on. yet she chose to sleep over living through the most fruitful time of her life. maybe an interesting comment on aging as a female in this society, and how the protagonist is rebelling against that :) we see the implications of her rebellion through reva, who is consistently bewildered by protagonist’s lack of desire to make the most of her financial/pretty privilege.

[hampebampe]

I finished just a couple of minutes ago and IMMEDIATELY searched up a review. You explain this book perfectly and you opened a lot of new views for me. I think that this might be the best book I’ve ever read. I can’t wait to reread it when I’m older. Reading this as a curious 15 years old was a lot. I think I will always remember this book, this feels like some kind of opening to idk. My point is that this book was perfect in so many ways

[kevinwilde]

POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THE LATTER HALF

I really got the impression throughout the book that this story is about the effects of modern feminine standards on women's lives and mental health. The constant comparisons and differentiations between the lives of the protagonist and Reva, between the protagonist and her mother, the relationship with a man who shows no real interest in the protagonist besides her existing as a woman, and her desperation for any sense that somebody understands her at a level deeper than that alongside her perceived inability to present the world with anything beyond her beauty.

Through her difficult relationship with Reva specifically, I, as a man, really felt a level of understanding of the effects that expectations have on women in a way that I'm rarely let in on in popular media. Through Reva's struggles, we see somebody desperately trying to ignore the nature of their individual experience, trying to meet beauty standards she can't possibly meet, trying to fit in in places she clearly doesn't have a real intrinsic interest in, and finding only constant discomfort and suffering despite her constant efforts to be what society says she should be.

The protagonist's response to the same standards, which she naturally meets with little effort, is complete resignation from what she intuitively understands is meaningless, but cannot escape. With no effort, she is seen as beautiful, as worthy of a place in social circles, and yet she's still miserable and uncomfortable. I think that we can see her disdain at the facade women are forced into through her idolization of Whoopi Goldberg, a woman whose "presence [makes] the show completely absurd, " and who is proof that nothing is sacred.

The protagonist knows that in order to find peace, she needs to escape expectation, and that that cannot be done while existing in the world, even passively. Upon awakening from her experiment, she's able to see things through a lens of appreciation, and to not force the world's expectations onto herself, symbolically giving up her late parents' role in her life by giving up their home and everything left in it. She's finally able to accept Reva for her flaws, despite an understanding that Reva might not be as accepting of her. She's allowed herself to view the world with empathy rather than judgement.

The final, short, heart wrenching chapter, despite the tragedy of it, shows her growth into what she has wanted to become through the year of sleep. She is overcome with awe seeing Reva jump from the world trade center, "not because Reva and [her] had been friends, or because [she'll] never see her again, but because she is beautiful... a human being, diving into the unknown, and she is awake."

[elena-ripq]

I loved the review:, )

SPOILER bc i have no one to talk about this 😭, but was anyone else lit scared af when the narrator got in Revas place? I genuinely thought she committed... Reva's life was so sad, yet she remained positive (?

Lost her mom to cancer, cheating dad, hated her economic status, used by her boss, ignored by her only friend, an abortion, and then when she finally gets something good, 9/11 happens, PLEASEEE "NO FAIR" she would say

[honeyxmoony]

This video is brilliant, I agree with every single thing you said. "Her behavior excuses mine" is literally what I was thinking while reading the book, and it's so comforting to know that even when my life gets bad and I feel I could be coping better, it's never as bad as hers

[taymosa]

I absolutely love this review. You talk so beautifully and eloquently about such an array of subjects. Thank you, Willow, for this lovely video. ❤️

[jameswilkinson]

I read it after a breakup, and after falling out of love with my shared art studio, and found it kinda freeing. It made me feel like I'd be alright on my own somehow.

[blipblopbip]

I think the book was about overconsumption and how coming into the 21st century marked the beginning of overconsumption that would only get worse and worse over time. The overconsumption of art as entertainment rather than art, the overconsumption of drugs, psuedoscience, information, everything really began at the same point the main character wanted to take a break from the world. I think that's also why the book blew up during the pandemic cause all we could really do was sleep and watch TV and watch our lives slowly tick away when so many people just wished they could sleep it all away and wake up to a better world. A world where everything isn't being thrown in our face and we actually feel like have conscious deliberate choices with everything we do.

[sirfynn_]

When I read this about a year ago I had kind of a similar reaction. It was always the book that i picked up when my brain started playing “your most embarrassing and traumatizing moments in 4K on loop” and it brought me a lot of comfort in similar ways that non other book could bring me.
That being said, i love how you can word your thoughts on books, excellent review :)

[eduardofromtx]

I’m so happy I came across this video. I’m currently re-listening to the audiobook (Julia Whelan does a fantastic job narrating) and also find the book so comforting. I think that the protagonist choosing to sleep for an entire year is almost like her taking a gap year from life, and getting to experience that gap with her feels really intimate and unique. Although she’s easily irritated and pessimistic throughout most of the book, she actually holds a lot of optimism in thinking that she’s going to feel better/“reborn” after her year-long project is complete. I also LOVE the ending because I love the idea it took a tragedy like 9/11 to “shake” the protagonist back to life. Thank you for publishing such a relatable book review!