The Cycle of Depression

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Intro
00:10 - Reddit post
00:37 - What is the relationship between pessimistic thoughts and depression?
02:31 - Circumstances
05:39 - Default mode network
08:51 - Identity or Ego creates a filter
16:09 - Your identity and where it comes from
18:54 - Take a look at your filter
21:55 - Getting a clinical evaluation
22:28 - Unplugging from your identity
25:05 - Overview
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[Castaway]

"Spend more time with yourself, and less time with the person you pretend to be." This is so good.

[arthur]

hey that's my question, i wasn't expecting an answer from Dr. K himself! It was a very simple post.

[Arcticstar]

I found it interesting that antidepressants worked for me. My depression is clearly triggered by my circumstances, but I think because those circumstances lasted years of trying to push through it, the depression slowly started to become the default. And over time my body upped its signal strength for the same thing. I still feel down about my circumstances (burnout is real), but the intensity is lower and any depression I feel doesn’t overflow to things I enjoy.

[zezinhooo]

"Our identity often times is pieced together from traumatic experiences that have unprocessed emotions and lead to erroneous conclusions about ourselves"
This was good to hear. It feels like you finally put in words these thoughts that I couldn't

[orclogic]

Now i’m close tears picturing Dr. K going back in time to see a 5 year old Alok sitting on a gym bench slumped over. All he says to him is “One day your gonna help so many people kid” 😭

[mrblok]

Takeaways:
→ Differentiate pessimistic thoughts and depression based on circumstances not just thoughts.
→ The default mode network simplifies your identity which is far from reality.
→ Don’t let the identity or Ego/Ahamkar filter your life experiences.
→ Unprocessed emotions contributes to your identity, be aware of it and analyze where it comes from.
→ Things like meditation, self-introspecting in nature can help you unplug from the identity.

[saltiestsiren]

This explains so much. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13. Now I’m 26 and still struggling immensely. CBT has not worked well for me because even the most neutral or objective thoughts used to combat negative thoughts just don’t stick. I feel like I developed a very negative identity, imposter syndrome, and extremely low self-esteem.

[smon]

You literally made me cry, along with the adhd video you've done. It's uncanny how somebody is explaining my thought processes, and just making me realize I'm not completely mad and it's basically part of the human condition and I can overcome this through practice. I've just never known somebody to so articulately explain and justify it. Like how adhd people get angry because they loose focus, it's a revalation to me, but it also makes so much sense to me now. Thank you so much.

[buckwheat_flower]

i was just in a depression spiral, anxiety, insomnia & severe headache for days. I needed this. Thank you.

[curiousplaneswalker]

Dr K, always coming out with something that matches someone's needs exactly

[Legalize]

What helped me to stop being depressed is to change everything. I had to move to another city very far from the people I knew. And few month later, I wasn't depressed anymore. Leaving was hard, but at the end of the day, I realised that it was my environnement which makes me really feel bad. I can't say that I'm super happy today but I don't feel bad as I used to feel. I had to get rid of lots of people, be with me, learn to love my self, to be smooth with me. Having no relationship to deal with help me to stop stressing and feel bad because I would get triggered by people. Somebody said that depression is like a stage 4 in cancer. Either you change completely your life or you might die if you don't do drastic change.
Love to all the depressed people. One day, you will get out. It just takes time. So don't put any pressure on you to feel better. 💛

[thegodfather]

What if depression is caused by loneliness? I don't think spending time with yourself is the solution. If anything if you discuss something personal with a friend they may tell you that you are a bit paranoid about this and change your stance or "filters" about your issue, or at least have some second thoughts. As it is said in the video, it is difficult to see our biases by ourselves.

[MikeJo]

This helps me understand more of why I felt that way. I would take every negative comment in my life and think people would see it 24/7 on me. Little did I realize is that not every negative comment I get is true and I should stop worrying about the negative things people could think about me.

[Hekinsieden]

14:55 "I'm me and I don't feel connected to anyone else."
That's me right there.

[embrace]

The explanation of what a clinical depression is so eye opening. It will help me and many figure out when to go see a therapist because i did have depressive times caused due to circumstances but once they resolved well i had to resolve them on my own i was finally able to be less and less pessimistic. I was finally able to see some sort of light at the end. I suppose that just doesn't happen for a clinically depressed person. Very informative. I was especially always confused abt this like do i have a big enough problem to go see a therapist or not? I couldn't go not just because of feeling like i am overreacting but also because the lines were always blurry. And good thing i never went because i on my own figured a way out of it and learned a lot in the process. If i had just chosen to go to a therapist i would have start expecting them to 'fix' me which would never happen because i had to do it myself. Sometimes you can't help but be grateful for the series of events. Things rlly happen for a reason. I would have never found this appreciation for life if i had just started relying on someone else.

One of the amazing things abt overcoming a tough stage in life is as Dr k talked abt oversimplified version of self that oversimplified self just doesn't exists anymore. It got dissolved. I almost feel like that old idea of me has died. It opens your eyes to so much! You realise how faulty your old beliefs abt yourself were. It makes u see life very practically. You realise your capabilities. It also makes it much faster and easier to process the unprocessed emotions of another bad series of events. Like I recently hit a low again and faced a lot and accumulated a lot of unprocessed emotions again but this time instead of like 10 years it took me 2 months to properly process my emotions and assess the situation I was in. I was able to be both realistic and compassionate to me abt what happened. The efficiency of my brain is just amazing! Hope to reduce the processing time to 1 month and less next time I hit a low again because we'll that inevitable, what's life without suffering? Since I am even more aware of my capabilities!

[Ludsrum]

I am always so impressed by the clear and easy way Dr. K explains what feels very complex to me.

[mmdd]

This is, BY FAR, THE BEST VIDEO I have seen about this topic. Thank you so much for helping us understand!

[tennenyt]

I just don't know what to do or how to enjoy things that will leave me fulfilled. I dropped out of a Computer Science degree and the idea of returning to it leaves me scared because I struggle to be interested. This is the same when I look at any possible job on job boards and stuff

[gizemsaygl]

During depression, I knew I had distorted view. But now, I started to question the questions I was and am asking to myself almost everyday, why are we living or what is the purpose. This question leads me feeling more depressed but at the same time I don't think this is a distorted view of thinking. It is just too frequent to ask yourself compared to less depression-prone people.

[antonydrossos]

From late 2012 to early 2014, I was making the most money I'd ever seen in my life. I was miserable, because besides earning the most money, I was also the most isolated I'd been, even compared to my teens.