🇩🇪 5 EVERYDAY THINGS GERMANS FIND RUDE | Don't be that rude foreigner!

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[Laurin-nmyx]

Yes, you need to ask the owner of the dog first before you can pet it. That's actually really important, because you don't know if the dog for example is traumatized and can't handle it or if it's for example a service dog. If the service dog is working, petting the dog can disturb them. So it's not really a rude thing we do, but something we learn as a child, because it's important.

[maggypieelsterlein]

The issue with strangers petting dogs without asking is that you never know if the cute little dog is as friendly as it looks and on the other hand not every stranger who comes up to your dog actually knows how to act around dogs. They are not stuffed animals.
My family's first dog was treated badly as a puppy and was aggressive towards strange men. If a child wanted to pet him (most children learn from their parents to ask), we let him sit and the kid could pet him, we would do some tricks and give him treats. That always worked great.
Now our new dog is a rescue dog and is afraid of everything. Loud cars, bikes, strangers, other dogs he doesn't know yet, and children are especially scary to him. We don't know if he just doesn't know what to do because he was born in a shelter and spent his first year there, or if he has bad experiences with kids who visited the shelter. Of course we encounter people on walk. Most times we step to the side to let them pass and they are very respectful. It is obvious to most that our dog is scared. But he gets braver each day.
I just wanted to give you some examples from my experience.
TL;DR don't just go up to the puppy, address the owner first and ask if you can pet the dog. Maybe ask how old he/she is or what breed. Most dog owners love to talk about their pets, just ask the human first ;)

[florisvansandwijk]

About petting dogs: it's not just the Germans who find that rude. I'm Dutch, and we think the same way. Always ask the owner if they are okay with you petting their dog.

[julieenglert]

I am Australian and I would never dream of being late for appointments, especially not doctors‘ appointments or other professionals‘ appointments. It‘s a matter of respect. You are acknowledging that they have other things to do with their time. Actually, I am always on time when I meet up with my friends too. It‘s respecting that other people have other things to do with their time. 😊

[jjinwien]

Re dog-petting: If the dog bites you for any reason (whether provoked or not), the owner is liable for the dog's behaviour and could be sued for damages.

[mgeyer]

If you don‘t want to see something, you can turn your head or close your eyes, but you can not „close“ your ears if you do not want listen to other peoples conversations or phone calls if you are in a bus or train.

[jacquelinebucar]

I remember reading in the newspaper (USA) that when McDonald’s first opened in Germany, a man was flabbergasted when he got his hamburger with no flatware. He said “What am I suppose to do with this? Eat with my hands?!!!”

[Mozart]

To point 3: it's not only chatting loud at public places, loud cellphone calls are annoying too.

[jrgilmore]

Addition: Asking someone how they are and then walking off on them. I know it's a thing. I know it's not an actual question in English. I know it's considered friendly but I just can't get over it. I've spent a year in England and 3 months in Australia. It felt rude. Every. Single. Time.

[LythaWausW]

I wish Germans could understand that being early is as rude as being late. I am talking about 20-30 minutes early, it happens to me all the time. I've given myself enough time to prepare for guests and then I'll be stepping out of the shower and the doorbell will ring. Recently I was 15 minutes early to someone's house and I waited in my car around the corner. Somehow being punctual has become "late."

[ChrisS-cjxh]

Bei Hunden ist es eher so, dass diese durch die Erziehung auf eine Bezugsperson koordiniert werden und eigentlich die Erlaubnis des Herrchen abwarten sollen, bevor sie sich mit Fremden einlassen. Die sind dann meist verwirrt und wissen nicht, was sie machen sollen. Einfach den Besitzer fragen, die meisten erlauben das Streicheln. Dann weiß man auch, ob der Hund das will.

[claudiakarl]

Chicken wings and chicken legs are okay to eat with your hands.And fries in a fast food place. But don’t lick your fingers, use the napkin.
And if you realize you’re going to be late: give a call.

[fraeuleinsommer]

From a german dog owner's perspective there is only one major reasons why i don't like other people petting my dog without asking for permission first. As it was said before, it is a question of liability in case the dog might bite or harm others. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to approach a dog correctly, which can then lead to some serious issues. Just to give you an example: My dog, like many other dogs, hates it when people do bend over his head in order to pet him. To him that is just intimidating and as a dog he responds in his way, which would be growling. Which then is considered very often to be a sign of aggression, when it is only the dog's way of communicating that he doesn't like something. He can't speak obviously. When people ask permission first, i can then tell them to not bend over his head but offer their hand for the dog to smell first and get to know you a bit before being touched. After that, he's fine when being petted and loves every minute of it...:-) When i think about it, german dogs are very much like their owners, they need some time to warm up....:-D
By the way, the same goes for touching anyone's baby or toddler in a pram or stroller without asking permission in advance.

[wolfim.]

Teaching a child to ask before petting a dog is so important. my daughter is mentally disabled. she loves dogs and it was a lot of work to get through the 3 steps. 1 - ask, 2- don't stretch out your arm while asking, wait for the answer, 3 -accept the NO. Most kids get the asking, but will bend down to pet the dog while doing so. Accepting the "No, sorry, dog doesn't like strangers" really needs working on. but it is important for safety reasons.

[frauh]

I think its not just the questions... You can ask a German something, they will tell you everything they are comfortable with. Since in Germany it would be very rude to lie, we only ask questions we would also answer honestly ourselves. So don´t ask, if you don´t want to know the story ;)
after about 10 Minutes always text or at least apoligise, because the other one waited for you and it just shows that you recognize that

[suzetteospi]

These are all very astute and correct observations. I nodded my head for each of your five points. And I'm really impressed by how much you know about our culture.

[grandmak.]

I've had dogs for more than 30 years and never found it rude when someone petted them. It can cause problems though. My big dogs were very focussed on me and just didn't like to be approached by strangers and my little Westie was so enthusiastic about everybody's friendliness that she started jumping up at strangers with her dirty paws which wasn't always appreciated .
So what I do when I see a dog is ask the owner if it's ok if I pet their dog.
Eating with your hands, getting your fingers all greasy or even licking your fingers is just gross - what are you going to touch with them next?
Yes, we hate it to be late and I hate it when a guest to my house is late because usually we like to have everything ready on time, the table set, the coffee or dinner fresh and hot and ready to serve.
Thank you for sharing your observations, Antoinette !

[christin]

I am German and I adopted stray dog who was often overwhelmed by strangers and would also snap if it was getting too much. Of course I worked with professional dog trainers and tried my best to make him feel comfortable around people, but it was just something he never really got used to. Who knows what he had experienced in the past in Rumania that made him act that way. Anyway, as a dog owner who was trying to train a dog with social issues it was just super hard to have people randomly coming up and patting my dog. You should always ask first as you don’t know what the dog’s personality is like.

[ChristianBurkart]

Please don't adapt. We need more friendliness and openness. Just be a New Zealander in Germany. That's not rude, it enriches us. But be punctual - this is a matter of respect.

[wtsalive]

1.: Yes, it‘s true. At first we want to have more distance and we don’t like really personal questions, if we are not so close.
2.:I like animals too and I want to cuddle them. But first I ask the owner of the animal, whether if it’s ok to touch the pet
3.: That is correct. It is very annoying, if the people around too loud
4.: I grow up to eat with knife and fork. The only exception was birds. There it was allowed to eat with your hands.
But in that case I am not a typical German. Junk food like frites, chicken wings or legs, burger I use my fingers.
5.: Yes, right! To be on time is a very important thing. But it depends which kind of appointment it is. If it’s an official appointment I’ll be earlier, with Friendswood have a saying: The academic quarter, means you can be late until 15min.