BDSM 101: What is a 'Switch'?

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FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. All of my videos are intended to provide safety information for adults that choose to engage in these activities as well as combat stereotypes and misinformation. In addition these videos may contain educational commentary on queer issues, pop culture, and news items. No portion of my content is meant to be used for gratification, nor is it intentionally salacious.

Hello everyone! Today we are back with a classic kink video: what the heck is a switch? Is that like, a switch from a tree? Well, not exactly. In this video we will be talking about all of the ways someone can be a switch. From top / bottom switches, dom / sub switches, switching between partners or with partners, alpha submissives... there's a lot to get into. So if you've ever wondered what it's like to play on both sides of the slash, why people enjoy being a switch, or how to navigate being a switch / community perceptions of switching, this video is for you!

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Art by: @animositi on Instagram

Credits/Attribution (Music):
Artist: Audionautix
Track: Transportation
Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license

All content used falls within fair use guidelines for education and commentary purposes.

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Evie M.
P.O. Box 31978
Seattle WA 98103

[keomeow]

Being a bisexual switch you get the whole "jUsT pIcK a SiDe" but times 2

[KittyCatFurbabiesMaria]

Me and my Dom are in a Dom/Sub switch D/S . I was a sub for over a decade and then met him and he became my Dom, then a couple years into our D/S he asked me to become a switch so he could explore his sub side, and we became switches and are collared to each other . He is predominately a Dom with sub tendencies, so sees himself as the “main” Dom tho, even tho we are actual switches …every dynamic as we know is different and it works 🥰. Much love as always from the uk Evie xx

[tempest]

As a switcher that was a great explanation of it and I'm very glad that for once people get it right.
Humans evolve and grow and sexualities are a spectrum so labels can be misleading.
I also feel that there is a bit of a tabu about switchers and of their intentions, at least I feel we are often misunderstood or thought as less than other labels but we need to accept that some people really do enjoy a broader range of practices and it's as valid as a rigid place.
And as usual, respect, communication and negotiation is always fundamental.

[helenar]

This literally came out as I started to wonder about my own relationship towards switch situations, feeling curious and interested but not particularly experienced. Thank you so much for all the information!

[roseshmol]

The part where you talked about switching/evolving from strongly identifying with one side of the slash to the other side really hit me. I feel like I'm in the middle of that right now. I've always identified as a submissive. Recently however, I noticed that a very rare type of person can make me feel dominant/bring out my dominant side. I know it's not exactly the same as you said. Regardless, it has me thinking that perhaps I've been a switch all along. The complexity of roles and how individuals relate to them is so fascinating.

[Phyrra]

Love your barely there lipstick + eyeshadow combo today! So happy to hear you discuss Switches. My husband and I are both Switches, and we definitely lean sensualist/sensation play. We top or bottom as we desire, rather than D/s.

[kesetokaiba]

14:57 I've never heard of a "Switch Fight" but this sounds hilarious xD

[Ash__Adler]

On why some people have negativity towards switches and see them as "not picking a side" or whatever, I think it comes down to the same issue with a lot of things where there's a general binary but it's actually a spectrum: some people feel their identity is threatened when they can't prove that they aren't this other thing (i.e. if switches are "normal", they can't prove that they're actually D/T or s/b because they could just be a switch who hasn't realized it yet).

I've dealt with it as a switch, a bisexual, and a non-binary person, and you're 100% correct that it's always senseless crap.

[WizardOfTheHills]

One of my local dungeons have a system based on colored rubber-bands. If you are looking for a new play partner or open for pick-up play, you can put on rubber bands. White if you are a bottom or sub. Black if you are a top or dominant. Red if you are into rope bondage. You can put on multiple rubber bands. So, if you are wearing all three, you are a rope switch. If nothing else, wearing one or more rubber bands are a conversation starter.

[isabelagusmao]

I love that there are so many possibilities and they're all valid. Human sexuality is fluid and we should celebrate that. I subbed for my partner for a couple years, then we decided to explore the other side of the slash. It feels natural for us either way!

[HH_Julius]

Negotiation? Communication? Talking with your partner and being open? So simple! Who would've thought? (Talk with your partner honestly. I can confirm it works!)

[matthewsheridan]

Love your idea’s at around around 25:25 mins/secs. Thank you for being you and so informative and not afraid to add your opinion!

[solsystem]

Also, I like to break it down further (sometimes, depending on how me and that partner feel that day) where we do kinky things but without anyone being dominant/submissive top/bottom.

For instance: a scene where both of us are being S and M at the same time. Similarly, pet play scenes where we're both birdies with lots of snuggling/nuzzling and wrapping eachother up in "wings" (blankets). I could go on but there's only so many youtube safe examples.

[plasmiku]

Omg thank you Evie. I'm so glad you're touching on this subject again because my partner and I have been exploring what we call our "switchery" and this information is going to be so helpful on our journey <3

[kirtpreston]

My fiance and I do DDLG. I am a switch which means for us, I am Daddy and she is my little girl but at times I go into little space with her and we play together while both being little. Even though I am always older than her even during age regression, it's like I'm playing the role of her baby and she likes pretending to be my mommy and taking care of me while we are both in little space. She is always little and submissive but at times, she feels the need to take care of something so me being little helps out with that. Especially when my anxiety gets really bad from having a bad day as an adult or stressing out over different adult situations and I just really need some extra cuddles.

[Marshmallow]

Mhm. I'm a switch sub leaning and had a partner with DID. It was hard to balance each personality and top as often as I was. This was a great explanation of burn out and I love the name tag idea!

Thank you for covering this a bit deeper, Evie!

[Fnalspace]

Wow really thanks for that video! That really clears up a lot of things for me,
because for a very long time i thought submissive is the only side i always do.
But today the situation is totally different, i can fully submit myself and be masochistic to a person, but on the other side, i can tie up a person, inflict pain and enjoy the look in their face.

[laurenbray]

I can't just be happy with one or the other all the time. I need to be able to be both depending on the situation so therefore I need a switch partner as well. I didn't realize I liked being dominant for most of my life and when I realized it things made so much more sense and why I always got bored in past relationships. As a straight woman you're taught that you're always submissive from a young age so its no wonder we wouldn't know this about ourselves for so long. We were never given a chance to see ourselves from that perspective. Its made to seem taboo and weird. Just like with men being submissive.

[filsviolet]

Another video for us all. That is a welcome message.

[LilThreat]

Wow, what timing. Thanks Evie! Sharing this with two close friends who are also switches~