To myself

For you to read along:
Hey, it's me
I just wanted to call to let you know how proud I am of you for making it to this point. A while ago you didn't even believe you'd make it here, but here you are. You're doing good kiddo! Don't be so hard on yourself and celebrate the little things you achieve some more, they all add up to something big eventually.
I know you've experienced a lot of setbacks. You got used and abused but what I admire about you the most is your unwaivering faith.
''It can't be for nothing. It's never for nothing!'', right?
I know you still carry a lot of pain inside of you, but instead of letting all the violence your heart experienced make you cold, you let it make you soft instead. You pay attention to detail and the little things and that's what makes life truly beautiful. You still believe in love even though it left you more times than not. You never lose sight of who you're trying to become, of what you want to make others feel, of the bigger picture. You understand that in order to give something away you have to learn it first. You are so strong for turning every negative into a positive.
I heard you're learning to open up more about how you really feel. That's really good. Not everybody is out to get you and you deserve to feel the love you give so freely. Also whatever you feel is valid, you were never too much and I'm happy you're finally realizing it. You deserve a seat at the table. You're healing some of your oldest fears. The question ''what if'' is no longer followed up by negative thoughts but endless possiblities of how great things can get. You're freeing yourself of your own suffering and I can't tell you enough how proud that makes me. The world is yours, go get it!
I gotta go but please just know this,
you're young, you got all this time, live a little, enjoy yourself, romanticise the shit out of your life. Exit anything that makes you feel less than you are!
I love you so much.
Thank you for never giving up on me.
I'll talk to you soon.
______________________________
______________________________
Music by Scott Buckley:

[JetpacksAudios]

Thank you for patiently waiting for me to drop the first video of 2021. The reason why it took so long is because I decided to dedicate it to myself, so it took some time to write and edit because I wanted to really feel into it.
I still hope you enjoy! Thank you for listening :)

[jacobinasmith]

Hey Jay, I just want to say thank you for always being there with your videos when I need some encouragement. Life is not that good at the moment , but I guess my faith is being tested. There are times I just want to lay in bed or scream my pain away , but listening to your voice and words help to calm the storm in me. So thank you ❤

[megatron]

You can think you’re okay, and make others think you’re okay, but no one can hide their real emotions forever.

[emiliyswed]

Awesome! You saved my live more than a dozen Times! Thank you!

[juliegilder]

I'm from the UK and just want to thank you for everything you have done. You have helped me through some hard times when I couldn't talk to anyone and thoughts going through my head of not feeling like I'm worth anything and a waste of space. I still have them times but the I go over your videos and they make me feel better don't know what I will do without u. You deserve a meddle xx

[pink_stigma]

And again your video make me cry and think that I'm happy because I didn't give up that day. Thank you for helping me heal♥️

[TheStrawberryShop]

Heyy ..I was sitting alone working in the university during break time in a crowded room and “you are doing good kiddo" made me burst into tears... I wish I had at least one friend throughout my life.. but while listing to it I felt like I was not alone 😭😭😭... I hope you see this comment someday ☺️...

[depressionlife]

This is something I would want my grandkids to hear when they have no one else to go to in the future when no one else would listen but I would.

[hoaxzi]

I’ve just started year 9 and I’m kinda freaking out.., Ive just come from your “I was always scared of growing up” I am scared terrified, even. I don’t know what to do. Your videos are so inspiring:)

[firsttime]

I dont want people to read this from my school but im proud bc im 4 months self harm free no suicidal thoughts for 3 months and hey im earing normal im in therapy im proud :)

[pumpkinhead]

Hey Jay
Just wanted to stop by and say thank you, truly thank you. You've made many of my worst days better. Since I've had a narcissistic father my self-esteem hasn't been the best. That's why I say thank you. You remind me to be proud of myself even though it gets really hard sometimes. When it feels like I've fucked it all up and it's all my fault I keep remembering your vidoes. That I have had a lot more setbacks than what a child should have and that I truly have a reason to why im not "perfect". So thank you, truly.
You are one of the people that makes life worth living

[bell]

You have helped me so much in life and I wanna thank you so much for that. Thank you and I love you. Anytime I’m feeling down I listen to you and ofc it helps me it always does.

[bristinagoyari]

I am having such a hard time right now. And thank you so much for this. It's helping me a lot to deal with my problems.

[m.r.beaudry]

Jay, I have been thinking bout giving up yet some how you put the smile on my face and show the true meaning of love. thank you for being my friend.

[PEAK__]

Sending love from France 💕💕💕
Be proud of who you are little angel ☔️🌟☀️💫

[sammodoll]

Thank you for existing. This had me happy crying.

[CharlieEnergy]

Thank you for helping me though a very very dark time right now so thank you

[lauraskoflek]

Hey Jay, wow...thank‘s. I wasn‘t able to cry for a long time but thank‘s to your help i was able to experience honest sadness and both gratitude. Thank‘s really. I hope you have a great day. Wishing you the best🌟

[kama_t_]

Your videos always move me. Thank you <3

[theyluvvb]

Dear 2019:lonely, but I will eventually find love, have a bestfriend


Dear 2020: things have gotten tough, lost my bestfriend


Dear 2021:still lonely, bring 2019 back