6 tips to help your children control their emotions | UCLA Healthy Living Tips

They throw temper tantrums. They hit their siblings. And when denied the tiniest desire, they can melt into inconsolable puddles.

Yet, somehow it’s up to you to help mold these little emotional tornadoes into reasonable human beings.

What’s a parent do?

Giving names to feelings is the first step to helping the under-8 set regulate their emotions, says Catherine Mogil, an assistant clinical professor at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA.

[joryknuckles]

Sad to see how many kids are in these comments. I think im the first dad looking to help better my child. May all of you find peace, love and prosperity ♥️

[-shallowstep-]

I'm a kid watching this because I get annoyed easily, and my parents yell at me a lot. I want to make them happy and love me..

[oh_look_a_nerd]

Am I the only kid here just trying to get help?

[jayelex]

Im here cuz im just a full grown child

[psycherevival]

A parent/adult that is not in touch with their own authentic emotional experience is not going to be able to adequately recognize and name what their child is experiencing. Adults can greatly benefit from an ongoing mindfulness practice.

[matthewblunden]

Adults are worse than children when losing their temper

[JackMarino]

Therapist here.. Kids.. you get to freak out on occasion. You’re allowed to have big feelings and to express them. You aren’t an accessory or a decoration for the adults, and you aren’t responsible for keeping adults happy. In fact, your caregivers are responsible for meeting your needs and treating you lovingly, plus as adults, they’re the ones responsible for their own emotional well being. As kids, your emotional regulation will often fall in step with whether your caregivers are providing a safe and resourced upbringing, and whether they’re giving you hugs. That said, if you do have a disordered amount of dysregulation, then do look around for techniques, or ask your adults to sign you up for therapy.

[pjmac]

Feelings are not facts . some of the best advice i was ever told.

[amorettebanman]

Thanks so much I watched the video and it was very helpful

[jackiep]

Hello everyone 😊👋 and blessed be yall loving and kind people of the world.

[alwaysbeeurself]

We are based off our environment or you can find that you have a choice. If our environment doesn't support us or build us up then we may cope however we can. To admit that we are struggling within our environment will give us an identity that this is what we are going through, which will be what we can call having a difficult time with our emotions. To then realize our emotions are there as a protection mechanism, this can give us the understanding that we protect ourselves quite often from feeling bad or things not going our way. Then understand that you are not in control of the world around you (your environment), but you are only in control of how you manage yourself, this will be the only thing you have 100% control over. The world around you will be what it is, if you can allow this to a healthy capacity, and if you can manage what is in you (your emotions), then you can allow the world around you to be the way it is without it having a direct impact on who you are. Obviously if you are in danger, then you do something about it and not allow it to just be, but let's just say that most situations we are in are not putting us in danger, then we can decide how to make ourselves work for us.


Let's consider self control as a skill to level up in, tools or equipment we can use to assist us in this journey of life. If you can't be in control of yourself, is to live based on however you can cope and based off however the world around you makes you feel. If you feel you need to change your environment, outside of imminent threat or danger, then first start with the change within you. To do so is to be honest, accept that you're struggling, to realize your struggle is just a struggle and doesn't define you, doesn't make you a bad person, it is just a lack of skill, education, and practice in what you're struggling with. Come to this place within you, take responsibility for your emotions within out placing blame, and find that you are the only one in control of your emotions, and not responsible for how some else copes. If you can set yourself free to be responsible for your emotions, then you can set others free to be as they want, and no one is perfect, they are struggling just as well and just coping how they will with the skills they have


Over time, through practicing that you are only in control of yourself and allowing others to be how they may, you may find moments where you can decide how to control your self. If you do, then you are finally in control. To be in control is when we see that while our emotions are powerful, that does not mean we are powerless to them. Our emotions are just an instinct to support us, and we give into them because of how strong our emotions are in order to help us feel protected. However, realize that most of the time, your life may not be threatened and emotions don't differentiate and just react to protect and support us; emotions see most things as danger although there may be no harm being done.


See that you can choose what to do or just give in and continue being controlled by the emotions. It's a life process, but as with anything, practice helps to improve anything. Know that when you fail with emotional regulation, you have found a way to not do something incorrectly, therefore, you found an opportunity to improve; and ultimately, failure is something that happens or it can define who we are. It takes time to improve our sense of self. This life is a journey not a destination. Realize you have been given this life, and it will one day be over, so use it wisely and be in control of your life, not waste it or give it away, not make others responsible for who we are, but come to a place that we value having this experience, accept responsibility for we are regardless of our circumstance, be aware that we can improve anything we give attention to, and you can only be responsible for why you are the way you are or why you feel the way you do. It's not your job to determine how someone is reckless with their responsibility or make them see their errors. You be the change within you that you want to see around you.

[edisonestebanlpt]

I'm here because I yelled at burst out in anger overy my Mom after she broke up my tumbler. I really can't control my emotions a while ago. When I was trying to fix my tumbler, I realized that I am getting angry over my Mom for a nonsense think. After I fixed it I asked sorry to my Mom. Right now my conscience is really killing me. 😭

[Msk-Trader]

I am 18 and kid
My mind : are u a kid ??

[syedmuhammadumer]

My girl is very upset because of my anger issues I really need help I can’t lose her i really love 💕 her

[onthetoilet]

Teaching your child that they are not breathing correctly will make them worry about in in the future, it could cause an anxiety disorder. This is bad advice, if they haven't noticed how the lungs work then don't do tell how they do, if they still are angry as teenagers well then teach them how to breath because the mind has developed more.

[KimTaehyung-cvhm]

i lost my 1st n 2nd bestfriend for my anger.

[koalemosaraara]

I really need this. For years I was able to control my anger physically but not emotionally. I almost hit my sister.

[mattymobbs]

Any tips on 10nyear old boys who feels like people people are blaming him when no one ever dose please always had a happy boy and suddenly he turn to get angry over any think

[strifer]

I got angry at my classmate because he called me an idiot in a game but i didn't know that it was his brother who called me and idiot now his mom is going to talk to me tomorrow at school

[trinnasultrabeautybraids]

I don't know if I should listen... I don't want to "control" their emotions..