Why INFPs Hate Being Controlled (ISFPs too!)

[sammyjoon]

Being micromanaged is one of the worst feelings as an INFP.

[khalifeh]

as an INFP I do hate being controlled, unless if the objective of being controlled is to reach a goal that you aspire to reach, as long as your morality requirements are met, and no one is asking you to do the thing you’re already going to do.

[sarakjeldsen]

It's because we just want to be ourselves in a life that is harmonious and inspiring. We also have no desire to control or dominate others so we want the same courtesy from others.

[genesischaparro]

LOL, just this morning my mom make me change from a jacket to another, and I was internally screaming "stop controlling my life, mom! I choose this and i like it! so what if it doesn´t follow a logical consistency!?"

I think we Fi doms get defensive because we interpretated people correcting us (we call it controlling us) because we are subconsciously aware that out Te sucks, but we feel their concern as patronizing and like, they don´t trust our own decision for our own lives. We understand it comes from a place of caring, but it feels very discoraging

[charmmaeonineza]

I am allergic to the term "productivity". I find it equal to micromanagement and getting leashed.

[kevvie]

Yep I struggle with this. Hate being pushed into doing anything, whether I'm pushing it or anyone else is.

[terezarasovska]

I love getting things done and beeing productive, it's hard but it feels good. Unless someone tells me to do it, then not so much haha-infp

[dangthingocoanh]

Oh yeah it’s so true =))) lol I really hate being controlled. And feel unproductive, overthinking... thanks so much for your sharing

[mishecool]

Oh my one of my biggest pet It makes me feel trapped and want to escape, it can be something as simple as routine... It makes me want to run for the hills. I get lost in knowledge seeking as a means of escape from when i can not physically do so. I just want to do me, be me and only me lol.. mistakes an all.

[earthschild]

I was constantly told to be this way or that, at least that's how I perceived it. For sake of harmony I would bend and twist however they wanted, trying to somehow remain being me. I would internally fight and rebelled, but complied as much as I could and daydream of being free.
Being a single mom of three, one of them disabled, I had to find ways to be effective. I developed my Te aspect, forcing myself to create my To Do lists and improve my organization skills. I seldom accomplish it all, because I am figthing against being controlled even by my own self.
I always say, "if I plan it, I won't accomplish it".
It is that difficult, but when others depend on you there is no choice, it must be done.

[NicoleM_radiantbaby]

Interesting. I'm pretty sure I'm an INFP (just watched your video on INFP vs INFJ), but I actually find a weird peace in organizing things. I'm not a super-neat person by any means (lots of clutter in my household), but I do usually like to make lists and come up with strategies and systems on how to organize my things and -- when tasked to do so -- I'm usually very good with spatial reasoning. Hmm.

[YEDxFILMS]

How about when people ask you do something you were already going to do??? I hate that so much. You take away my independent feeling and make me feel like doing that task was because you asked and not because I wanted

[novasky]

I am wondering if the very things that created us as INFPs are the same things that are also causing us to not want to be controlled. INFPs feel a strong sense of a need for justice in the world, and many of those types of people have usually experienced feeling oppressed. I have a very strong opposition to authority. I am a 48 year old anarchist-communist as a result. I think my INFP, and subsequently the ancom ideology, initially started when I grew up in a very repressive, controlling, and authoritative household under my step-father. Anyway, thanks for all the thought provoking, enlightening information. Understanding ourselves better helps us make better sense of other areas of lives.

[akaboo]

I have never been organized ever lol. I use Te in fight or flight mode. I can tap into it but its not easy

[fiqahsha]

So today is my first day being a prefect.. And my teacher keeps repeating stuffs that he already told... NOT ONLY DID HE WASTE MY TIME BUT HE ALSO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE NOT WANTING TO FOLLOW THE SCHOOL RULES ANYMORE.... WHY I WONDER?

[NkosiCebile]

Hate is such a cute word.. I despise, loath, abhor are words I would used .... being controlled brings out the worst in me

[swetharajesh]

you have such a soothing voice! I'd love to listen to you talk all day
- an infp

[santinamarie]

It's not being controlled if you acquiesce to someone else's better better idea. It's just a matter of noticing that someone has a better idea..

[fenzda]

Oh yes. With our extroverted sensing being weak, we don't stand up for selves either.

[NkosiCebile]

I'm an infp, but I organise books by colours😭😭😂 than title.. I organise my clothes by colour and what they are.. I am an interior designer/architect, it is part of my job to be organised... and being controlled... I hate it but I've learnt to accept that in my line of work I will be micromanaged, controlled, my logic questioned and be constantly criticised for thinking the way I thought... I just shut down, emotionally and mentally (physically) so they can't read how I'm feeling deep down and do what they want no matter how much I disagreed because if something horrible happens, I'm not the one to blame :-). I love it when they say oh Cebile thought of that but we ended up doing this and my idea ends up being picked ☺ without me fighting for it☺