Not everyone can be happy: your thoughts create your reality

Just like certain plants won't grow in certain soils, happiness will not survive in a mind full of judgment and negativity. While people are free to think whatever they want, they are not free to feel however they want as a consequence of what they choose to think. This is why not everyone can be happy. Understand that your thoughts create your reality and you're already on your way to cultivating preferred feeling states.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #happy #feeling

[psychacks]

Just like certain plants won't grow in certain soils, happiness will not survive in a mind full of judgment and negativity. While people are free to think whatever they want, they are not free to feel however they want as a consequence of what they choose to think. This is why not everyone can be happy. Understand that your thoughts create your reality and you're already on your way to cultivating preferred feeling states.


Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #happy #feeling

[rokkena]

To summarize an excerpt from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations... I noticed I was feeling bad. I decided to feel good. Then, I felt ok.

[Tiosh]

You don't have to go the the gym. You GET to go. That mindset change does wonders. Especially when you consider how some people are so disabled that going to the gym is just an impossibility. It's a blessing to be able to be able to function fully still.

[per_growth]

This is so true. I found that my mood for the day really depends on HOW I DECIDE to think!

[Drknight]

“i choose to” is way more powerful. thank you. i’ve heard “i get to” but it don’t hit the same

[Teacherguy]

I stopped watching news at night so that my thoughts could be positive when I go to bed and wake up in the morning.

[owen_tp]

Five things that completely changed how I see happiness (and made my life significantly better):
1. Your mind is like a garden, whatever you feed it will grow. If you keep focusing on negativity, don't be surprised when that's all you see.
2. I went through all books on Mindbloomery, and started applying all their lessons. My mindset, habits, and even the way I handle challenges are on a whole different level now.
3. Gratitude isn't just a cliche, it's a skill. The more I practiced it, the more I realized how much I already had.
4. I picked up "Power of Assertiveness: Unlock Your Potential" and it showed me how much my own perception was shaping my reality. When you see yourself differently, life starts treating you differently as well.
5. Movement is medicine. A simple walk, a workout, or even stretching can flip your mood faster than overthinking ever could.

A biggest realization in my life so far? Happiness isn't about chasing a feeling. It's about creating the right conditions for it to grow.

[We_Must_Resist]

"By your words you are justified and by your words you are condemned."

[shellshocktm]

I'm one of those people who is always unhappy. Been a miserable sod for as long as I can remember, even as a kid. Weirdly enough, one day it got too much for me and I just thought - man being sad all the time is just so tiring, I don't want to feel this way anymore. And just like that I discovered a way to gain some happiness. It's crazy how something I thought was my reality was just how I chose to think.

[btgm]

This one made me cry. Most people do not explain life in such clarity.

[singhka]

i listen to a lot of highly motivated/disciplined athletic people and most of them say this. " i don't have to do this, i get to do this!"

[thundavolt]

The best thing I did was to not consume too much negative news. I tried to pass this on to my ex-girlfriend. She couldn’t get out of it hence ex-girlfriend.

[DaudiMajozi]

This video is very deep. You could take each point or method you describe and do a deep dive into it to explain what's really going on. I loved the explanation of how thoughts affect our feelings -- how the mind hunts. This is also a good non-religious explanation for the same points which various religious teachings make about happiness, such as Buddhist or the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda (SRF). We see people who want to cling to their victimization and not recognize that they can be happy by changing their thinking, words, and approach (outlook, mental attitude). The pain of the past is so real that merely the act of changing their thought habits seems artificial, fake, and a lie. This doesn't mean that the scars of the past abuse will vanish or that it will become as though the trauma had never occurred (therapy is still required). But it also means that a state of victimization does not do that either and it makes us feel depressed and terrible about ourselves in present time wherein no abuse is currently occurring. We are not, as children, taught that the mind is elastic and it is always being programmed -- by others, by culture, by society, by parents, by TV, or by us. So therefore we should take charge of programming our mental landscape so that we will experience the scenery and states we wish to experience. That takes us from REACTIVE victims to PROACTIVE conquerors and heroes.

[HollyF]

Great topic. Our culture is obsessed with happiness. Even our constitution says we have the right to pursue happiness but it does not say we have a right to be happy. Important distinction. One of my favorite TV scenes is in the Sopranos, where Tony is complaining to his Russian girlfriend. She said something to the effect of: "You Americans, you always want to be happy. In Russia we never expect to be happy, and we are never disappointed." Wise words. We do a great disservice to our children when we say things like "You deserve to be happy, " and "Just do what you want honey, as long as it makes you happy." What the hell kind of goal is that? It's unrealistic, for one thing. It's also selfish, for another. Happiness is but a fleeting emotion. Enjoy it when you feel it, but focus on other things, like being a productive member of society, or finding a career that is fulfilling, or helping other people.

[drmatthewhorkey]

Great episode. One of my biggest realizations in life is really getting how language shapes our entire subjective world

[chrisbenoit]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[ChristnThms]

100% agree.
This might be a great place to segue to the realization that happiness isn't the only positive emotion, and not necessarily the most practical one to aim for much of the time. I find satisfaction and contentment to be more achievable and long-lasting, even though happiness may be more intense.

[robertfindley]

True. I saw a man in India whose job was to clean large pipes of human waste. He was happy. When asked if he wanted a better job, he said "No! If I don't do this job well and with cheerfulness, in the next life I will return as a dog."

[jayramkhara]

3 things that changed how I view this whole system: 1) I stopped chasing arguments. 2) I came across Atruve books and the content there hit different. 3) I studied how power really works.

[pelicanbunny]

‘Mind is a hunter.’ How true. Changing the language and phrases we use can indeed change how we think. Brilliant advice as always. Thank you Dr O