INTJ's function in a friend group

My high level thought on an INTJ's function in a friend group.

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[justcallmejon]

I didn't realize that I had my camera setting on Non-HD so I hope you guys enjoy this low definition video that i refuse to remake because I hate recording 😘

[Shiraori]

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." That's how I feel about it. If there was no point in being friends with them, I wouldn't be in the first place.

[traumahappiness]

I completely agree with you. Groups need to be dynamic and everyone has special places in the group. With my INTJ friends, some add value with their talents, some add value with their intelligent conversations.

[MNkno]

You nailed it. Adolesence was terrible, I was the one who was "a wet blanket" and "killed all the fun" (but nobody died from what I stopped them from doing..) It gets better after 50, when people start thinking maybe I'm seeing something they should pay attention to. It's not easy, but I'm not here to do "easy". Thank you!!

[maggied]

It's so refreshing to actually have someone get you. Thank you for this video, it's exactly how I am. I have tremendous loyalty and hate seeing others being alienated or dismissed, and i don't need recognition for things I do everything just hits home

[madlynlithasya]

i had always wondered too, but never actually asked my friends about it.

sometimes when they look for me or ask for my help or advice regarding things, i feel taken aback. not because i feel special, but just that i can finally see what my purpose is in the relationship.

now i just realized that ive never been fully attached in a friendship situation because of this. only when they actually expresses that they need me to do something for them as a friend, thats when i can attach myself a little more.

i do also think that this might stems from not having childhood friends because i moved around so much when i was young, so i didn’t have a lot of real connections with people

[SadiaZaman-nusg]

This is my favorite video of yours. I don't know for sure if I am an INTJ, and like you have said, it's so important people understand there is more to a person than their personality types or characteristics that come more naturally to them, growth is all, all sane people should seek. I have felt alienated from tagging myself as an INTJ because they are portrayed as cold/selfish/and weak in ethics or compassion for others, when honestly, as logical as I am, my foundation of Being, stems from my devotion to my ethics or self-constructed sense of morality. I can not overlook it, or jump on the bandwagon of half-heartedly caring about mass genocide or other forms of human atrocities. My need to be better stems from the shitstorm humanity keeps throwing itself into, again and again.

[まやねず]

AS AN ESFJ I LOVE INTJS BECAUSE OF ALL OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID AND SO MUCH MORE!!!THEY ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO INCLUDE EVERYONE AND MAKE EVERYONE FEEL SO WELCOME THEY DO SO MANY THINGS FOR EVERYONE EVEN WHEN PEOPLE DONT NOTICE!!!!AND EVEN THO YOU GUYS MAY HAVE DIFFRENT OPIONS I LOVE HOW YOU GUYS ACCEPT OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS TO!!!!EVEN IF YOU GUYS DONT RELISE IT I THINK THAT YOU GUYS ARE ACTULLY SUCH WARM PEOPLE IN THE WAY THAT YOU JUST MAKE EVERYONE FEEL SO ACCEPTED EVEN IF SOMETIMES ITS TAKEN FOR GRANTED!!!!A THING THAT IVE NOTICED WITH MY INTJ FREIND THAT I LOVE ABOUT HER IS THAT SINCE SHE DOSE LET PEOPLE HAVE THER OPIONS AND SINCE SHE WILL BE HONEST ABOUT THOSE KIND OF THINGS I ACTULLY WORRY ALOT LESS WHEN TALKING TO HER BECAUSE IM NOT WORRYING SO MUCH AS WHEN MY INF TI ‘WHAT IF I SAY SOMETHING WRONG’ ‘WAS THAT STUPID TO SAY?’ ‘HOW DID I MAKE HER FEEL?’ ‘DOSE SHE FEEL THE SAME WAY?’ BECAUSE SHE TELLS ME IN THAT WAY YOU GUYS’S HONESTY IS SOMETHING I ACTULLY REALLY VALUE!!!AND SHE ALWAYS MAKE SURE NO ONE IS LEFT OUT OR FEELING IGNORED OR SOMONE IN PAIN EVEN IF THE GROUP DOSENT AGREE WITH HER DESISIONS!!!I JUST WANTED O SAY HOW MUCH I APPRIATE ALL THE INTJS IN MY LIFE YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!BTW I LOVED THIS VIDIO GREAT WORK IT REALLY MADE MY DAY!!!!YOU PUT EVRYTHING INTO WORDS SO WELL!!! LOVE INTJS AND ALL THE TYPES KEEP BEING AMAZING!!!HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

[TheSkootShow]

I find it funny that you have the personality types of each friend not only rendered, but memorized

[TheIT]

I didn’t finish this video yet so if this is countered somehow my bad

When you ask around 5:30 if you are merely just an extra, I would oppose that. I mean, there is a chance since I don’t know you, but nevertheless I heard a great description of an INTJ
Where basically we are sort of like the people who help work on the shared project, but remains a bit distant from the entire group project itself

So in a way, we may not feel as close or may feel disconnected, but it’s not because we have no specific place. It’s because our specific place *is* to not have a specific place
We may not hang out with everyone or chat with everyone a lot or even fit into a specific dynamic in every case, but we insure that everyone gets along and try our best to keep everyone out of trouble and such

So in the end, maybe you don’t need any specific place, and you just try and help where you can and in healthy friendships they give that back

I could just be wrong though so idk

[coolbreez]

Nailed it! Everything you mentioned, I have experienced it. Going against group thinking, calling out vocal stupidity, help a friend with unforeseen issues, difficulties in explaining everything although we feel strongly about it etc.

[lynnh]

People are put in our path in order to help us grow and get stronger in some way sometimes when theyre done they leave and sometimes they stay. Iron sharpens iron a friend sharpens the countenance of a friend.

[epyonalpha]

Awesome video bro. Like you, I also strongly relate to Batman for all the reasons you provided in the video. 😁

I also very much relate to that feeling of things cutting deep when my character gets questioned by people I care about. Like you said, if we're calling out problems, it's not because we want to be the 'downer' of the group. It's because we're seeing something developing on the horizon that it feels like NO ONE ELSE is even recognizing as a potential possibility. I know I've had discussions with friends who may have been having a 'toxic positivity' moment, and I had to be that one to say you really should consider if this doesn't work out for x and y reasons, only to be responded to with something along the lines of, 'whose side are you on anyway?' And much like Batman, sometimes you just take it on the chin, and get to work trying to cover for those that can't (or refuse to) see the issues you see. Because as much as it might feel like the time to clap back, mama-Te is there to redirect that energy to more productive means.😄

[moreminutes]

11:30 Well that actually was so accurate. I don’t need people to praise me for what I’m doing. I’m glad I can help even when I’m not recognized Doing it. But questioning if I’m loyal is like ignoring all my lifetime I spent on helping you out T-T

[AnneHynynen]

You have just described me - once again! 😂

[siennalaci]

As far as archetypes go, I've always seen INTJ as overseer. In a group scenario, INTJs set the goal posts, and complete checks along the way, others 'do the work'.
I've always seen INTJ and INFJ working closely together, as one of our weaknesses is the others strength. INTJ sort the system and process, INFJ help make it people friendly, and mediate along the way. We also need our SE doms, so we can push them to the spotlight, while we hide in the shadows 😂

[junevo]

all 4 of my intj friend's has "... Batman " as my contact names AHHA

[Bible_Study_for]

5:15 I too am an INTJ and truly believe that because of our analytical perspective and absence! (Whether we are aware of it or not) People tend to place a high value on our opinions.( Even though the opposite isn't true) That being said, have you ever heard of the Lorenz Attractor? I believe that both our advice and sometimes manipulation, completely changes the course of the people around us. In way that is calculated by us, but not necessarily managed by us. ( I do believe everyone has an effect on everyone they come in contact with to some degree) However when discussing friend groups, these people are within the proximity to have whatever we want to share with them, basically downloaded into their minds. Unlike those we meet in passing. Just my opinion of course.

[yipsue]

INTJs is lovely, honest and helpful to their friends. As an INFP, if my friend ask me why we are friend, I would say because I like you and you are lovely and would ask back shall we be friend for a lifetime

[jocelynleung]

My husband very much plays the role you describe (to me).

"You be yourself, be loyal to your innermost truth. I am here to support you and bail you out no matter what happens."