5 Mindsets That Keep You Single

In this video, Psych2Go is going to teach you 5 different mindsets that keep you single. These mindsets are common among people who are struggling to find a partner, and they can be really helpful when trying to change your dating habits.

If you want to change your dating life and find the right person, then you need to learn how to adopt these five mindsets of dating. Once you know how to use these mindsets, you'll be able to improve your dating life in no time!

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Thumbnail Artist: Sarimopi
Thumbnail Manager: @michalmitchell
Animator: Evelvaii
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Glenn, N. D., & Kramer, K. B. (1987). The marriages and divorces of the children of divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 811-825.
Fraley, R. C., & Roisman, G. I. (2019). The development of adult attachment styles: Four lessons. Current opinion in psychology, 25, 26-30.
Hansen, D. E. (2010). Intimacy, loneliness, and social withdrawal as a result of emotional trauma. Journal of Behavioral Psychology, 19(22), 114-120.
Gottman, J. M. (2014). What predicts divorce?: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Psychology Press.

[Psychgo]

We know in the video, we said 6 beliefs, but if you're single right now, what's holding you back?

[ana.stasia]

"A relationship should enhance you, not complete you"

[BlackIce]

I just flat out gave up on dating. Whatever happens, happens and I've come to terms that it could lead to me being single for the rest of my life. I'm just focused on finding a happiness that doesn't come from relationships. Even though it does get lonely sometimes.

[ikiyou_]

parents: "you're too young to date!"

me: "ok"

my 18th birthday: *give us grandchildren.*

[davedave]

The key points, as I see them, are this:
1. Do what makes you happy.
2. Have a passion or two. Work on it, cultivate it, and do not be afraid to share it with others.
3. Surround yourself with people who like you for you and share some of the same likes and passions as you.
4. Ask to join other people on their journey through life and enjoy their passions.
5. Leave the door open for others to join you. If someone takes an interest in you or in your passions, let them travel with you for a while on that journey.
6. Look for satisfaction from within yourself. Don't do something because someone else will admire you or praise you. Do things because you enjoy doing it.
7. If you find yourself being invited to share in the likes and passions of another person, and they are asking to be involved with your likes and passions, they probably like you. If you are interested in pursuing something romantic, it's ok to ask. But if they say no, don't take it too personally. They may not be ready for the relationship you want, but they might know someone who is. If they find you interesting, they are still going to find you interesting after you ask. If they don't, then you dodged a bullet.

[Coach_Shiner]

I've been single all my life. To be honest it's a combination of me being somewhat of a social reject, me being shy and mostly introverted, and also the issue that I've just never been given a chance to prove myself

[𝔲🅂ₑ𝓻④𝟘🈁]

1. 0:58 - I'm incomplete without a relationship.
2. 2:04 - It didn't work out for my parents, so it won't work out for me.
3. 2:43 - Beliefs about abandonment.
4. 3:26 - Beliefs about being damaged.
5. 4:13 - I'm still waiting for THE ONE.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). I'm incomplete without a relationship 0:57
2). It didn't work out for my parents so it won't work for me 2:03
3). Beliefs about abandonment 2:42
4). Beliefs about being damaged 3:25
5). I'm still waiting for THE ONE 4:12

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[randomguy]

I'm single because of my introverted personality, mostly. Still, I always thought I would like to meet someone at some point. Now, I'm not so sure. While it is lonely at times, I really love my alone time, if that makes sense. In addition, I'm not sure I would make that great of a partner if I'm being completely honest with myself. So, at the moment, I'm content with being single.

[andreimircea]

Another factor that at least keeps me single is witnessing my mother refusing to leave a toxic husband, and watch her suffer mentally and emotionally in a bad relationship; and even after she receives my genuine encouragement to leave him, she still won’t.
Seeing all of this made me weary about how will I be when I’ll be older (fear that I will turn up like my father) and about screening potential partners to ensure that they won’t be like that in the future. It’s hard to get close to someone when you screen them to see if they show red flags.

[alexanderhopkins]

As a fellow single person society always pressures me to be in a relationship and my family pressures me too even though I tell them No I’m fine for who I am they always say “don’t u ever get lonely or don’t u wanna be happy like all of us “ I’m like no I’m fine being alone there’s no written rule that u have to be in a relationship I’m fine being alone cuz relationships take up too much time and work besides I’m happy being single and alone 😄👍

[Archangel_Michaels]

I just lost my wife ... she died after we were married 15 years :(
Thank you for your awesome channel - I LOVE your work !

[purpleserenity]

Point 4 really hits my mark. I've grown up in a broken household and I have a hard time seeing myself as worthy enough to others. Not to mention, I am scared about being close to people as I have seen various people throughout the years betrayed me and my mom. And now, I'm by myself as my mother was displaying narcissitic traits. I know for some past traumas are not my fault but there is a part of me that feels like I should have known better or done something. A good guy that I have talked with online for over a year has made me feel things that I have never felt before, I know it's had an affect on me to change and I've been trying to be more open. Yet, I'm still afraid to get too deep as I'm afraid I'm just being used and/or will be hurt again. I want to open yet, I just don't see how anyone can see me as someone being worthy, especially to him. I feel so confused but at the same time, I feel better than I have been in years. It's been a process.

[outcast]

I'm not just "incomplete" without a relationship, I'm straight-up EMPTY. Right now I don't necessarily live, but rather just exist. I need someone to devote myself to, to fill my life with meaning and purpose!

[samarium]

It's funny. I've never been in a relationship. I'm nearly 22 now and never experienced anything like love, my first kiss or anything like that. Sometimes i really think that somethings wrong with me.. Especially when i'm told how ridicoulus it is, that someone my age doesn't have any experience in this field. They say i'm missing out... Living aside from what life is. What they don't realize is, that it hurts to hear such things. I'm a human with feelings and beeing said to be false in some kind of way just hurts... Yes, i feel lonely lot's of the time. But i don't think a realationship would fix this. I think I need to be ok with myself first before taking a shot on realationships. I even struggle to maintain close friendships, so how am i supposed to maintain a realationship? I grew up in an environment where every single realationship is a desaster.. maybe thats why i'm struggeling.. Idk...

[arthurpenfield]

Been single for 18 years straight because nobody wants me because I'm black and overweight. I'm the king of being FRIENDZONED or rejected. I was abandoned as a kid and was physically and mentally abused for almost 22 years. Life hasn't been treating me well at all. Love don't come easy for me.

[dcdavis]

I'm single because no one wants me; and with that being the case, I've completely given up.

[dschehutinefer]

Well, for me it is the beliefs of abandonment and the beliefs about being damaged. With a history of bullying at school and a ludicrously messy parental divorce I had developed social anxiety/avoidant coping mechanism because all kids I called friends dropped me because I was too exhausting to hang out with and never dared to make any new ones at university because I always feared that if they ever found out about my home life, they'd drop me instantly as well. Therefore I only ever ended up with very superficial relationships, a "social ghost" who attached himself to existing groups, but never really belonged. A feeling that then caused my anxiety and panicked flight reflexes in social situations.

The thing is, the same goes for dating. It puts me into a spot where I feel I am far too old to make any 'first' experiences and have a fear that anyone would run away hearing that at my age I never kissed anyone or had any relationship whatsoever and so a year ago I frantically tried online dating as the 30 came closer, but of course never matched with anyone and never dared to write strangers. Since that only further damaged my self-esteem, I learned my lesson and accepted that I have to focus on making friends first, but making friends as an adult who has to start from zero is absolute insanity. I joined Discords with similar interests and went to conventions to fully indulge in my nerd hobbies, but with my anxieties it's always one step forward and two steps backwards and unfortunately I ended up pretty much where I started.

[Goomba]

Me not even remotely interested in getting engaged or married:
*i see this as an absolute win*

[joseMgarcia]

All except the first one. It's obvious that a relationship won't make me feel complete. I'm definitely more afraid of falling for someone and getting heartbroken than I am of dying alone. I'll just keep doing me.