Signs (or ways to see if) You Have OSDD-1b

(you're the sky)

[m]

I am 34, and I have gone most of my life without knowing what was "wrong" with me. One of the reasons I considered having OSDD-1b, was because someone pointed out that I had emotional amnesia (based on my blogs). My "moods" do have preferences, and it's easier to track with music more than anything else. I have also had bouts with fashion, and food preferences too. (i.e. I one "mood has a hyper-fixation with keto/carnivore diet, while another loves to binge drink and eat sweet foods) They do have dramatic lifestyle differences (i.e. perfectionist vs slob and impulsive, and one that is very cerebral and likes to argue online). Usually, these lifestyles seem to last a maximum of 2 months or less. Which seems like the magic number for how long an "mood" can stay in control for any period of time. This time frame has ruled out some other causes. They also seem to "mix" somewhat as well. I don't know if that is normal. But imagine thinking and planning all day to do something when you get home from work, only for it to poof the moment you walk in the door to your house. Then when you get back to work, you remember what you wanted to do and get angry that you didn't do anything you planned. Sometimes at work, I get irrationally angry and can barely function and become excessively clumsy. Other days, It feels like I was barely aware of work at all, and it went by so fast. I have learned that certain "moods" are also triggered by something (like injury, or insults) and they tend to take control for the rest of the day.

[ElenaSommerfield]

You and this channel are so underrated my god, luv you !!😂🩷

[rinaroche]

Personally, I can't comprehend "faking it until I make it."

I can't even imagine what it would be like to think without distinct inner voices. Much less not having them influence or exhaust me.

Or what it would be like to not be out-of-body observing someone else puppeteer your body in response to stress and functionality (I won't mention specifics).

I have Alexithymia, so my comprehension of moods is nil, but I can understand the dissociative aspects of the emotional experience.

I remember my childhood, trauma and all, but I'm not emotionally connected to it and I do often experience mental blocks when I try to think about certain stressful subjects. I don't think this is actual amnesia, though, because I don't fully forget. It's still there, it's just blocked in a frustratingly mental way.

Others have told me that I'm self-contradictory or too indecisive. I don't know how to justify going from loving to hating spicy foods within an hour to them, so I just say, "the aspect of myself that hates spicy foods, can't cook, and is more sociable must've come out."

For me, accepting the experience as Plural takes the form of accepting my mind's way of organizing and making sense of my self in light of my Neurodivergence, stress, trauma, habitual compartmentalization, etc.

Ultimately, I agree that we should work with and not against our minds and consciousnesses. This means that Plural systems, Multiple systems, and singlet individuals should all be able to freely conceive of and explain their experiences in ways that work for them.

Thanks for the thought-provoking perspectives.

[Irrlichtwinter]

question: how do you tell the difference between autistic masks and OSDD type personalities?
...
For myself&, we have come to the conclusion that we are a collection of autistic masks (and the trauma they protect), rather than experiencing a dissociative condition. The way you described your multiplicity resonated a lot with the way I& feel. Though I would describe most of us less as 'moods' than as patters of thought (a big tell, for us, was when we adapted a new mask that was spiritual, but our former main mask, who is staunchly non-spiritual, is still around... So we can go from being a deeply believing spiritual person to being an equally deeply convinced non-spiritual person back and forth in one day, without getting any cognitive dissonance... add to that the fact that both masks present and talk differently, and have different gender identities...)
Because we don't experience dissociative amnesia, and our embodying experience is very fluid (a lot of the time we don't notice a change in embodiment unless we stop and think about it), I opted for the term 'aspected singlet' to describe us, rather than trying to claim full multiplicity.
Even that small step towards acknowledgement helped a lot, though. We've been actually able to talk to each other recently, and the fact that I can never 'force' a conversation has helped a lot with the imposter-syndrom.
...
anyway. I loved this video, and I hope it will give other systems and system-ish people the curage to admit their multiplicity to themselves.

[fishhad]

This is wildly helpful. Idk if you're aware, but as a fellow autist the way you explain things makes this stuff make SO MUCH MORE SENSE. Like I never know how literally to take osdd traits / its hard for me to interpret. Like i have different "moods" with distinct value systems and moral codes but what does it mean to "feel like me"? None of them really "feel like me" but ive just assumed they're all parts of me that i have to break my back to accommodate or they sabotage my life. I've assumed they ARE me so like i never even questioned if they "feel like me" now i don't really even get what that means cus my concept of "me" has always had these wildly different parts who fight all the time and seem to have issues with everything i do. Like they "feel like me" based on my definition of that, but also they have completely different opinions etc, i know some of them well enough to accommodate those opinions and preferences in the body (not that i always do) but is that just something most people aren't having to do all the time?

[prinxen]

*Thank you for this video :)
*I've had distinct moods that had preferences so acute they made me dislike my own favorite food in the past. I still have distinct moods and "emotional spillover" from other moods thinking about things that I'm not, so it's probably undeniable by this point that I have OSDD (1b?? I think??)

*But I didn't really know any of this was such a strong sign until I watched this video. It's immensely difficult to process what's going on for me.

*I don't take selfies almost ever, but I'll try that too. It seems like an interesting experience :)

[Vermillion_Treezzz]

0:51 Hell yeah, dude, I'm Jay, but our host is Ryan, plus we have many other folks, but 5-7 of us actually tend to switch out regularly... 5-7 of us also have varying experiences of our ADHD, so some of us... like me, mostly lol... have really bad forgetfulness. It doesn't help I'm 10 years younger than these other jackasses [said affectionately], so I get pretty confused when I accidentally front while we're at work, lol😅😅😅

[LiEnby]

I agree alof with the last one if using system terms to refer to yourself is helpful to you then do it. I don't care

[MeSaytan]

i think i have at least 2 me. or ... yeah i dunno if i can say there is more. like 2 me and the blank state perhaps. or the merged state? which becomes nothing it seems. but then sometimes... nvm i dunno... also, can any of an identity come out any time? it seems that they are usually always present.... i dunno.

[curiouslyme]

Thank you for your video. Very curious, do you have any memory lapses while these moods take over?