Ranking every Kirby ability by how useful it is IRL

If you could choose any Kirby copy ability to have in real life, which would you choose? Let's rank all 68 abilities to see what's the most useful IRL.

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▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ About j0rts ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Hi there! I'm j0rts, and I like to explore mostly pointless things in video games while playing them in weird, unconventional ways.

Despite my name, this channel has nothing to do with jorts. In fact, I've never even worn a pair of jorts in my life. I just find the word fun to say... j o r t s.

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[SablePaintbrush]

I do want to note that the mike ability is just a normal mike, it's Kirby's 'singing' that's so unbearable that everyone explodes.

[izzybellyyy]

Ghost might require the ultimate sacrifice but it would be worth it to take control of the president and hit the griddy on tv

[YouFoundTheOcarina]

I find it really funny how poison is immediately rejected because it only kills people but then higher tiers still have things usefull mainly for murder or other crimes

[ThatOnePerson_Gab]

Some people underestimate how powerful Sleep could actually be irl. It might not look like much at first but it's when you look at smaller details that make it great:
1) Immediate sleep anywhere, in which can provide an actual good sleep without worrying about your social anxiety
2) Recovers your health, which means it would heal up any injuries overnight
3) Instantly summon a hat to sleep, in which you can sell and essentially bank off of it.
4) When upgraded, you can summon a literal bed for yourself in which you can ALSO sell (more likely to bank)
5) A boost of some kind upon waking up from the UPGRADED BED.
Overall: Sleep is above top tier IRL.

[MarioPlushYT]

0:56 Nah, Kirby is so bad at singing that his foes *explode* with laughter. No seriously I read the Dream Land manual.

[cjt]

Depending on the iteration of the ability, Doctor is capable of producing some combination of healing elixirs, sleeping gas, elemental bombs, and an infinite supply of large, dense pills, and can even resurrect the dead. That's S-tier if I've ever seen it, even if you're scared of Kirby's lack of qualifications.

[lordfrogIII]

Honestly thought hammer, yoyo, circus and magic were done dirty. Rarely have i thought in my own life "oh i could really use a sword right now" or "sure wish i could turn into a stone so I could negate this fall". In contast, being able to provide entertainment (or a hammer) to myself and others is useful at least weekly.

[SpookyRobinson]

I was unaware Kirby had so much uhh "self defense"

[MapleNephthys]

Super ironic that you ranked entertainment related abilities at low tiers while bomb is higher when it literally has less practical use for a law abiding citizen

[supersonicgamer]

1:07 I don't know if you actually know but that's not the microphone being ungodly loud, that's just Kirby being really really bad at singing, like kill everyone bad.

[TheBT]

You are deeply underselling how useful the leaf ability would be.

1) Livestock feed
2) Mulch and composting
3) Biofuel
4) Annoying your neighbour
5) Having amazing entrances
6) The ability to stop trains in the UK
7) A job for life in media production of Autumnal Scenes

[bardzokreatywnanazwa]

sand is infinity money because is used in bulding industry

[jruler]

Sand might sound useless, but think about all the glass and concrete in a city. Glass and concrete are both made with sand, and there's only so much sand in the world. But if you could generate more sand out of thin air? That would be huge for the construction industry, and you'd be financially set for life.

[ElodieHiras]

1:16 Have you *SEEN* modern art? "Paint" would make you a millionaire overnight!

[robosuit]

I can tell you haven't played Kirby 64

[PantheonFefnir]

I think you've forgotten the biggest weakness of becoming a UFO: you can no longer travel up and down ladders.
Sure, you think that's minor, but wait until you're somewhere where the only way down is by a ladder, and you then realize what a fool you have been for trading your ladder-traversal abilities for a UFO...

Edit: In case you ever wanted to see someone say they've never played a 2d Kirby game without explicitly saying it, feel free to check out the replies.

[raiknightshade]

Glass is made out of sand so you'd make a KILLING as a custom glass maker with infinite sand supplies

[talgron]

Depending on the quality of sand, infinite sand would be a huge money maker as concrete uses sand or microchips if you can make silica sand.

[blob]

14:52 damn if only i could had this power for college…

[FireLordSSBU]

1:44 I will treasure this walking animation forever.