California Comes Up With Crazy New Alert System

Janet Yellen says America can afford to support both the war in Israel and Ukraine. California will start issuing "ebony alerts" for missing black children. And Biden is restarting construction on the border wall...after saying he wouldn’t. Watch this episode of America Uncovered for that and more of this week's top US headlines.

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[imjustthere]

Issue Ebony alerts for missing black children, its going to suck being in a high crime neighborhood.

[JackTheRabbitMusic]

I thought the “Ebony Alert” was to let the politicians know when a minority is in their vicinity? 😂🤷🏻😏

[BentHeWiLdER]

That Ebony alert is going to be ring all day nonstop.

[lisapop]

The hospital wasn't destroyed, the parking lot was wrecked though

[ivaniuk]

I saw the ebony alert thing on the Babylon Bee and I thought that it was a hilarious yet racist parody... until now when I realized it wasn't a parody. Thought lately under the democrats I've realized that the Bee hasn't been making any parodies, they've just been reporting the news... 🙄

[g]

Funny how our food is made with ingredients other countries don’t accept

[swissredneck]

Yuri Bezmenov talked 40 years ago already how to take down the US readiness with obesity

[jed-henrywitkowski]

The DoD relying heavily on the BMI has meant that technically fit troops are considered "obese".

[scotthullinger]

Wow - California can alert for earthquakes, but can't even fix a 12 month old pothole.

[SamtheIrishexan]

As a Texan moving the illegals to the liberal states and cities is a must.

[BigVorst]

The moustache joke at the start killed me, good job Matt. 😂

[sirifail]

Now that the news and the helicopters over my house broadcast “missing child. 6 years old, wearing a blue sweatshirt” or “the assailant fled the scene. He was wearing a red hoodie”. Notice that neither of these includes the absolutely most obvious description…

The “ebony alert” will help, in an embarrassing way.
Now they need a special term for an “ebony” offender.

[russofthefrozennorth]

I will say, while I was in the Marine corps, the majority of our poster child Marines failed BMI because they had too much muscle mass.

[Coconut-]

The only kind of "alert" the state of California needs, should be an alert notifying them that they are still living in California and should move somewhere that society has not collapsed.

[wesdowner]

The question isn't "why did you grow a moustache?" It's, "how did you grow it so fast??!"

[blackcatk]

Ebony alerts for black people? Wow, now I know which ones not to worry about.

[SLACKPLAN]

Regarding these programs they had when I was in that were "just meant to get rid of people", all I can say is, "The chickens are coming home to roost."

[Abby-yzdb]

I appreciate that Matt is relaxing in to this role more. Delivery is a lot better! The jokes don't always land, but thats sadly the nature of stand-up. It takes some time to find what works for the individual person. Variety is good though!

[reddot]

LMFAO i just saw someone online ask "can we set up amber alerts on my phone so its only white kids" 😂. Ya, CA is going nuts

[JackieOwl]

Gee, it’s almost like the Army’s exclusivity contracts requiring Burger Kings and taco Bell on base all over the place is making issues.