He Can Do Better 🧐 | r/NiceGuys

Nice guys but they're not actually nice

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[KamenRiderFeline]

Nice guy: 90% of your beauty can be removed with a tissue
Me: 90% of your niceness can be removed with a 'no'

[rosiea]

I don't think men realise how upsetting it is to suddenly lose a friend of five years because it turns out that the whole time they were secretly hoping to hook up with you. It makes it harder to trust your friendships and it's a really rubbish thing to do to someone.

[NadCAtarun]

"You'll never find a man of my caliber." You mean she'll dodge all the bullets? Noice!

[Insertia_Nameia]

I love how these dudes constantly cry about "gold diggers" but yet they try to use money and "status" to pick up women.

[AylaHayden]

It's never actual nice guys who call themselves nice guys. It's typically "nice guys" who are acting nice temporarily to be manipulative.

[cerberaodollam]

"I'm boring but I have money" is just about the MOST unattractive pitch for dating lmao

[Amethyst_Witch]

I can’t remember where I saw it, but a quote I saw on Reddit perfectly sums up how I felt reading these:

“My legs closed so hard I’m now officially a mermaid” 🧜🏻‍♀️

[Pheelleep]

I always laugh when someone’s like “everyone calls me racist just bc I’m white” or “everybody calls me sexust bc I’m a man” meanwhile Jamie is a white man and literally no one calls him racist or sexist….mayyyybee the guy in the reddit post said something racist and sexist

[Venit_Hiems]

I love how you can always tell when guys dont view women as people

[lilibane]

I think these dudes played too many dating simulators that they forgot humans are 3 dimensional beings.

[Montesama]

The ship dynamic of "friends-to-lovers" is my jam (including its variant "enemies to friends to lovers"), but that doesn't mean EVERY pairing has to turn romantic after some magic time limit.

If you want to be romantic with someone, just COMMUNICATE your intentions early on, unless feelings change later, but if they do change, be honest and direct.

Acting friendly with some secret intentions? That's some predator shit.

[jennifergraham]

Many years ago my husband was in a band with a guy who considered himself “a nice guy”. One evening he was complaining about women. He then said “I HATE shallow chicks” (yes, he called women “chicks” which is a pretty good indication of his mentality). He continued….”I hate shallow chicks AND fat chicks!” We all just stared at him dumbfounded. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[meepmoopietherd]

When my little sister and I were teens, we'd often just go driving around at like 3am on a Saturday or something. We'd sometimes go to stores, and the amount of times that GROWN MEN would approach her and not back down when she said she was 16 was absurd. She's always put value in being as put together as she can be, so she's gotten a lot of unwanted attention from creeps over the years. And no one would respect when I'd step in and tell them to fuck off, so I often had to threaten to inflict pain upon these weirdos. At some point, a guy asked if we were lesbos, my sister said yeah (thinking that'd get him to go away) and this guy proceeds to tell a 16 year old how he could "fix" her. I threatened to castrate him in that Walmart if he didn't walk away right then. Almost all of these men made comments about how they're nice, a catch, and/or know how to treat a woman right any time I'd yell at them. Any guy who says he's nice is not, in fact, nice. That's the kind of person you need to get tf away from.

[jennifercavenee]

Imagine leaving a review for a business admonishing them that their employees should be more focused on socializing with random people loitering on the premises without buying anything rather than performing their assigned tasks and assisting paying customers.

[shawqin]

Just stop thinking that you are owed everything. That is the privilege talking. —Jamie, 2023

[overlydramaticpanda]

About why "take [the woman] out on a date" feels more uncomfortable than phrasing it as "go out on a date", it's because "take" as a verb gives all the power to the subject (i.e. the person speaking) and makes the object (in this case the woman, grammatically speaking) completely powerless. When you ask someone if they want to go on a date with you, you're giving them the opportunity to refuse; if you're taking someone anywhere, it gives the impression that you're in complete control and it's implicitly removing any sense of agency from the woman in question.

Also..."I am an anomaly".

[WindierIndoors]

All the "friendzone" things make me so depressed. I'm demisexual, so I'm only capable of developing any kinds of feelings after developing a strong bond with somebody, which takes years. That's not to say I automatically fall in love with my friends after 2 years, but I literally cannot develop any feelings of attraction before that point. This stupid friendzone mentality is the reason I've only ever had the opportunity to develop attraction to guys I met in middle school, because that's how freaking far back I have to go to have had guy friends who didn't expect anything adult and get bent out of shape about it when that's not the case :(

[sarabear]

When I came out in college I got the "but youre so feminine" stuff SO OFTEN that I ended up doing panels for my human sexuality class. She'd have people of all different sexualities up there & people had to guess who was who. I ALWAYS brought a dress & heels to school with me to really play up the feminine. I was determined to break stereotypes & had a couple younger women tell me that I helped them start to figure out their sexuality because they also thought lesbians had to be "masculine" 😮 its wild to me that almost 20 years later & people still think the same thing!

[johnnemo]

I hate the fact that my female friends have to deal with these types of people.

Like, imagine thinking you've got a friend, only for them to start yelling at you when you don't "give" them sex...

[LiamLivesOn]

When I was 15/16 I was definitely a nice guy and if the Internet was as it is today, probably would have been drawn down the incel rabbit hole.

One thing I'll never EVER understand though is when you get rejected and just start hurling abuse. Yeah I would get rejected and be all "urgh but I'm a nice guy, she only wants to date assholes" TO MYSELF. But I genuinely viewed myself as a nice guy and always believed that being mean and aggressive to someone was the total opposite of a nice guy, so I would just either leave the conversation or (which you should not do) just continue being friends with that person until they would fall in love with me (which they won't, they have told you their feelings, remaining in a friendship when your goal is more, especially after they have told you they aren't interested in you that way, is just creepy and its really demeaning to the person)

Anyway, I grew up, realised that women don't owe me anything, realised I can just be friends with women, worked on my own personality and view points. And now I have a nice social circle and a beautiful partner who I love very much and makes me feel very loved also.