Unknown Identity: The Untold Life of a Donor-Conceived Person | Lizzy Forman | TEDxTheMastersSchool

[hollysidaoui]

I'm donor conceived. I found out just over 2 years ago at the age of 19. I don't have a great relationship with my dad and don't know any of my donor's family. I have 6 half-brothers and 5 half-sisters from him and that's all. I pass people in the street and wonder if I could be related to them! I wish there wasn't so much taboo around this topic, I would love more advocacy for people like us and support for those like myself who find out in adulthood. I commend this girl for what she's doing!!

[Iguanaintrouble]

You’re speaking for all of us. I found out at age twenty four but I had been lied to and told that my father had died in a car crash and was Australian. Neither of these were true. Initially I thought I had been abandoned or adopted. The truth, even if hard, is always better than deception. I won’t repeat the same mistake with my son.

[nathanmcmath]

A powerful presentation from such a youngster. This needs to be talked about, and it will be the younger generation who shapes society's views on how donor conception is perceived and supported.

[teesense]

Nice one! She’s pretty grounded and well adjusted. Her mother must be proud!

[BrandonMathers]

The only thing that's frustrating about it...is that people assume it's hard or bad in some way.
As if we are missing out on something.
Think of it like this... Everyone experiences something that someone else doesn't. For instance, I haven't experienced being an astronaut. But because most people have two parents, it is commonly agreed on that two parents is normal and necessary. This is actually quite an egocentric perspective. We tend to use our own experience as the model of what is necessary.
So if you haven't been to outer space yourself, you don't worry about other people who haven't been to outer space, even though going to there could potentially provide a profound new perspective on the universe.


Every experience, including being a relatively rare case of donor conception, has the potential to be a curse or a blessing. Perspective determines whether any experience is good or bad for you. One could say you are missing out on my experience just as well. My experience has given me an incredibly unique perspective on life. Everything happens for you, not to you.

[sinnisstarleriche]

"The traits that I got from my mom and the traits that I got from my donor are not the collective sum of who I am"
I'm glad she knows that.

[KeshetAylonit]

I am donor conceived, and am planning on being a single mom by choice. I only know how it feels to be a DC kid from egg donation, and you have helped me see the other side of donation. Thank you, and I am so happy your donor was open + willing to communicate.

[mariej]

She is lovely. Gosh, why she is so sweet! Lucky mum. Congrats for the decision.

[LisaNarozhnykh]

Woah why just 3 comments?
This talk is really underrated. It was really cool how she slowly found the other side of her family imo

[spryght]

I was conceived with a donor. I wasn't lied to. I was told as soon as I asked. When I tell people I don't have a father, they assume I was adopted and my brother isn't biological. He is. It is my biological family. People can ask too many questions.

[LLK]

Bravo! Well spoken and clearly raised with love and support. Impressive young lady.

[MotchOMotchOman]

Thank you! It is great to see what an amazing young woman you are. I have a 3 month old son who I used a donor for. It is great to see being open about how he came to the world can help him be well adjusted. My donor has identity disclosure for my son when he is 18 as well.

[justmeish]

I am Aromantic Asexual and am currently trying to conceive with a donor, I had a miscarriage last year but am trying again. I fortunate enough to have a known donor so the contact can be arranged without the searching and luck factor. It's important for people to know that these children are the same as any other.

[bbtumblebug]

Thank you so much for sharing. I am a single mom by choice, and my 9 year old daughter often wonders about her donor as well. We did ancestry DNA and haven't had any hits yet except a distant cousin. We are in touch with 3 donor siblings. I loved what you said at the end, that you get traits from your mom, and from your donor, but they are not the collective sum of YOU. ❤️

[strawberriesblueberries]

She grew up healthy and beautiful. I think it’s an honor to be donor conceived and brought up to a loving home.

[nickyblackford]

Though it’s a beautiful thing to donate and help someone out it comes with a responsibility both on the donor side and the mother’s side

[MichelMawon]

This was nice to see as I've often wondered how these people live and see the world

[elissaharbuck]

What a beautiful and well spoken young woman

[meredithfletcher]

This is why in Australia we have limits to 5 and 10 kids per donor so that there are not like 50 or 100 kids running around out there

[AlexisDouFlo]

"The traits that I got from my mom and the traits that I got from my donor, are not the entire collective of who I am."
🙌 This 😍
Edit: So much wisdom!!!