Make her work for it: don't just hand it over

One of the reasons by women disproportionately end relationships is that they don't have to work for the relationships they have. Whereas most women make men work for sex, most men do not make women work for commitment: they hand it to them on a silver platter lest they jeopardize the sexual opportunity. Like many things in life, it's easy come, easy go. If you want a woman to fight for her relationship, then you have to make her work for it.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #women

[psychacks]

One of the reasons by women disproportionately end relationships is that they don't have to work for the relationships they have. Whereas most women make men work for sex, most men do not make women work for commitment: they hand it to them on a silver platter lest they jeopardize the sexual opportunity. Like many things in life, it's easy come, easy go. If you want a woman to fight for her relationship, then you have to make her work for it.


Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #women

[ryanh]

Focus on vetting her instead of focusing on getting her.

[GabeSeamless]

"some fish are not worth getting wet for"... thanks Dr.!

[vanfja]

This video was what I needed. My girlfriend is exactly as you say. I am doing all the work and she doesn’t work for it or care. This video was the final thing I needed to decide to end it!

[juggernautmma]

Once I heard Patrick O’Neill, I said this guy is my guy. Thank you for all that you do.

[artawhirler]

One time I was fishing from shore when I accidentally slipped and fell in. After I got back out, dripping wet, a friend saw me and said, "You know you're not supposed to go in after them, right?" 😅

[josephoduor]

Where were you when I was hitting puberty Dr Orion? This is the best long form explanation of "do not chase, attract." Definitely plugging my future children to this channel for early dating advice so they don't make the mistakes I did.

[schmeed]

clear, direct, and brutally honest. this man knows what he's talking about

[CoolScreenName]

Patrice was so far ahead of the game he’s being referenced all these years after he passed.

[dmzflightmedic]

I am an older Man who has been living life this way since my divorce 3 years ago.
I am approached by women, more now, than in my complete lifetime.
I am the one breaking it off with women, when they constantly break the ground rules, established at the beginning.
I have none of the 6s’ yet women are drawn to me.
I have had a beautiful girlfriend, 16 years junior, for the last 14 months (who attracts many men) and she is scared to death of loosing me.
I agree with this video as it pertains to my life.
What I tell my youngest Son is to use his 20s to build himself up and to not worry about women.
Time is on your side. Every year new women become adults and there is always hope that newer generations will be better prospects for relationships. Time is on the side of Men… Not the same for Women.
If you are a young Man, please hang in there, life has the potential to improve for you.

Thank you for the awesome video.

[EriPages]

Correct. Modern culture has tricked women and men into thinking that "Happy Wife Happy Life" was the way for marriage. But that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what makes a wife and even husband, happy.

Marital bliss comes when it is the WIFE trying to make her HUSBAND happy...and the Husband then focuses on his duties/purpose for their marriage.

THAT is the correct dynamic.

[smokingcrab]

Whoever cares the least while also prioritizing themselves has the most power

[olochedaniels]

"The more expensive it is to her, the valuable she perceive it to be and the more she will desire it; all things being equal" Value is directly proportional to keeping it

[redcryptonite]

Shout out to Patrice.... One of the greatest philosophers of our generation. Rest in Power

[juliatodhunter]

It scares me when men go into ‘head over heels’ mode in such a short period of time. It’s obvious they don’t know me very well, so I think they are falling for something they made up in their imagination, or something very superficial. As you said, sex just isn’t that hard to find…… A lot of people, men and women, don’t cope well with ‘being alone’ so they tend to jump in too deep, too fast and waste time in failed ‘relationships’. Quality over quantity - that’s the ticket.

[abdulabdullahi]

The facts that you used Patrice O'Neil routine tells me he had a big impact on you as well. I'm 39 so I grew up with him and he had a big impact on me as well. R.I.P Patrice. Gone but never forgotten 💔

[KyleSkyviews]

When you reference Patrice O'Neil you know you're on the pulse of this relationship stuff

[marriagecausesdivorce]

She has to have genuine burning desire for you. And the only way she is going to have desire for you is if you have value, e.g. good looks (genetic value), good money (resource value), good emotional connection (psychological value), and good lifestyle/frame (social status value). Mate attraction and retention boils down to value.

[NicoSimonPrincely]

This 100% Does work. A Woman that is not working to keep her husband or BF happy is bored and miserable and will go look for some other man that is more of challenge and that will not kiss her ass, which is why women date assholes that they have constantly try to keep their attention. I have literally had women tell me they had good loyal men into then that would even bring them lunch at work and she said "He's too into me I'm going to break up with him."

Trying to make a women happy is futile. They are only happy when they drama to obsess over. You doubt it listen to women's conversation most pf the time they are complaining about something. I told a Ex this and she didn't agree. She was hair dresser. She came back and said "You're right, I was listening to women, co workers & clients at work and you were right."

If you don't give them something to complain about or obsess over they get bored. Very often when a man thinks he is in good relationship with peace and stability and then his Wife or GF breaks up with him. They are not like us. Other times they may stay but you''re are just like friends and their is not hot passionate sex they seem to need drama to get turned on. Women can be very draining because of their constant need for drama and a emotional rollercoaster.

[nigelarchibald]

I made that mistake once and will never do it again