I Spent 14 Years As A Stay-At-Home Dad For My Son. Here’s Why It’s Time To Reclaim My Life

“Why is an abled-bodied man being a stay-home dad?” For 14 years, father of two, Lee Kwong Luen dedicated his time and energy to caring full-time for his son, Jue Ming who has autism and bleeding disorder, haemophilia B.

He shares candidly about the criticism he faces, his struggle with social isolation and depression, and how he’s slowly reclaiming his identity after putting his career and life on hold for over 10 years.

00:00 How I became a stay-at-home dad
01:57 Caring for my autistic son
03:03 Realities of living with chronic illness
06:10 Dad battles depression and poor health
07:53 Using tai chi to reclaim his identity

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#father #fathersday #happyfathersday #stayhomedads #dad #fatherhood

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[TheTan]

anyone saying the dad should be embarrassed for staying at home and taking care of his family does not truly understand the value of having a family. he sacrificed so much for his son and that also for so long, I am very proud of that man and it would be great if men had even half of what he has. truly one in a million, go super dad! live you life and wish all your dreams will be fulfilled!

[foamycoffee]

Being a stay at home dad is not shameful! Jue Ming's dad, you are a caregiver and you take care of your home so that your wife can work in peace. YOU are working too!

Your sacrifice and your work is valuable, please don't think that what you do has no value; it does. Not everyone can do what you do.

[serirayna]

For me, this is a real man who gave his all to his wife and children. People who go through this on a daily basis will understand this is an ultimate service to the family we all care about.

[kiatsan]

There's nothing wrong with being a stay home dad who cooks and cleans. There are working fathers out there who are deadbeats.

[canshootwilltravel]

Dad is selfless in giving up a part of his identity to help sort things at home, Mummy is out working hard to provide for everyone and Jue Ming's positive energy should be admired.

So many things to learn and admire from this family. jiayou!

[graceloh]

I am impressed by the sincere eloquence of the 15 yo son expressing his appreciation for his dad - not many teens are able to do that. It shows me that the father's and the entire family's sacrifices have not been in vain.

One more thing, how many teenagers are so effectively and confidently bilingual?

[MS-ubhb]

This gentleman put many men to shame. Kudos in demonstrating unconditional love.

[spikeyholly]

He is a responsible and capable father. Being a stay-at-home parent is a full time job, and it is not easy. He has done well and in my eyes, he is just as successful as any working father out there

[manyue]

I am also a full time caregiver dad. Difference is my daughter is low functioning and still mentally 7 even though she is physically 14. The mum was against me staying home and also do not support us. My daughter will probably never able to say those words that Jue Ming said at the end. I would literally cry if she is able to say it one day.

[BlueWithoutBiu]

4:45 Jue Ming is such a sweet boy. Even when he's most likely in pain after the unsuccessful attempts of injection, still went and console Grandma. His parents definitely taught him well. I'm wishing that Jue Ming grows up well and always surrounded by love. Also, to Dad and Mom, you guys did your best. Dad should not beat over himself for staying home. In fact it's such a great sacrifice. People would be touched when they know your story. Jiayou! ❤

[aclp]

Obviously, this dad and family has done an excellent job to help Jue Ming grow so well!!!!

To this dad,
Please take heart tt Jue Ming has grown up so well in spite of his conditions. You and your wife have done all tt is needed for your family!! Salute and bountiful blessings for your family. May you also gain back good health and attain the instructor's qualification! There is much hope for you and your family. Praying for yall! God bless and stay well!!!

[mariepascual]

Jue Ming's Dad-- I just want you to know that YOU are a HERO. I am a mom of a adult with autism now 30 years old. The years of sacrifice is worth it. Before my husband passed away-- he was the at-home Dad for 9 years and it was one of the most fulfilling times of his life-- to care for his autistic son. I wish you well, good health and for you to discover inexplicable joy.

[delltv]

Why are netizens shaming the dad? Such a weird thing to do. And the boy lloks like he's growing up nicely. Good job dad.. ❤

[worldview]

Be understanding of people's situation - the pain of this father was not being able to additionally help and provide much more than what he sincerely hoped for (which is to be the additional source of income next to his wife.) He really wants to be a contributor of his household. I genuinely respect that very much.

[robocop]

We have an Autistic son too but my wife and I decided to continue our careers so that we can provide financial security for our son after we pass away. We realized that our son will have employment limitations no matter how much he gets trained so having a sizeable nest egg would ensure that he lives a secure and comfortable life without needing to find employment. I also moved my work to our home when he was five so I was able to spend more time with him and attend most of his special school activities. Giving up one income was just too risky for our retirement and our son's future livelihood. Mentally I'm in the same boat as the guy in the video, I cut myself off from many things as I was too worried and preoccupied with our son. Realistically, I can only have some of my life back as having an Autistic child and adult is lifetime work.

[vbrown]

I'm so glad that this ended on such a positive note with the father realizing that he needs to take care of his own mental and physical health too. Tai Chi seems like a great way for him to do both, and to also build bonds of friendship he very much needs outside of his family. If it can also provide a source of income, even better! I hope he understands that he DOES work. He is working for his family, as well as being a healthcare provider to his son. He cooks, cleans, tutors, mentors, nurtures, etc. He is not unemployed. His son clearly appreciates and respects him as well. He's obviously done a great job.

[marcslacker]

Jue ming speaks so well!!!..and hes full of positive vibes..The family had raised him up very well..Wish the family best of health..And continue to find happiness..

[potterhandable]

I am so impressed and so heartened to see such a committed father. His son speaks well (in Mandarin and Cantonese) and has a sense of humour. Your sacrifice is worth it! Thank you for being such an encouragement.

[toyoyoyo]

A great father. Why not? It makes perfect sense. The son is very well brought up by the family. Good job, papa! God bless the family. Not easy to be a homemaker.

[zendude]

This is a good Dad putting his own life on hold for the love of his son. I wish this family all the best. God bless them.