Why You're Not Crazy to STILL Love Someone Who Cheated On You

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Discover 5 Step Process to Overcome Being Cheated On

00:00 Welcome
01:39 Separate the act from the person
02:34 An opportunity for growth
04:16 You're not crazy

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Discover 5 Step Process to Overcome Being Cheated On

[SuperBrianMak]

Because when you shame yourself for loving someone, anyone, no matter what they did, you add to your own pain, and it festers in you. It hurts you way more than it hurts them. You don't have to make things work with them, but the first step to healing is accepting that you care and it's okay

[geofree]

I'm struggling. My wife recently had an affair. She went onto an adult website and started "relationships" with a couple of different men. I found out a couple of weeks after it started. I only realized there was one of them initially. She assured me this mortifying conversation I saw wasn't what I thought. I was extremely gullible, apparently. This behavior persisted over the course of the next month plus. She'd say it was over, then I'd find out she was still in contact. Even tried to go to our therapist together only for her to begin to lie there, too. She insisted time and time again throughout all of this that she loved me and I was the only one she wanted. I had to leave town for work on October 25th. It was an awful day. I discovered for about the 10th time that she was still talking to this guy. She had a meltdown. I left on bad terms. Was encouraged by my friend who witnessed this behavior to go no contact. But of course, I ended up talking to her the next evening after she apologized, saying she was at rock bottom, and only time and her actions would let her back into my heart. Things seemed to be improving, although I was out of state. When I got home on November 22nd I found out that she had set up a hookup with another guy (who was married) at our home and had an affair on her lunch break. Not only that but she never stopped talking to the other guy that I knew about until hours before I arrived home. All the while, she had said there wasn't any contact. Worse of all this wasn't her first affair. She had cheated on me in 2011. I have taken my vows very seriously. We've been together for over 20 years now. Married for 14. We have 2 children. She's been sick with alcoholism. I'm crushed. Yet I haven't been able to stop loving her. I feel I need to help her when she needs me the most. For better or worse, in sickness and in health... I can see through a disease. I didn't sign up for sharing my wife with other men. I haven't been perfect, of course. I have my faults, too, over the years. But I've never cheated on her. I'm not sure I can get over this. It just kills me that she would do this with a borderline stranger in our home. I find it repulsive. We tried some marriage counseling. But I was told it wasn't of any use until she can get healthy from her alcohol addiction. I'm still a mess. There's times when I don't want to go on because I've been so hurt by this. I still feel like I'm in shock. She's currently getting help for her addiction. Am I a fool to want to save our marriage still?