Is it ok to admit you're good at parenting?

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[lesilbuschman]

Here, here!!! When my kid (age 19) tells me I'm a good mom. I take it and am satisfied and yea, grateful.

[rainbowconnected]

I'm certainly grateful for you talking about your excellent parenting. I wish I'd had a mom like you. I've found the things you share incredibly helpful in healing from my childhood trauma and reparenting myself. Please continue.
I wonder if you'd consider a collaboration with Patrick Teahan. He's a therapist who does a lot of work on childhood trauma and often interviews people for his yt channel. I know a lot of his audience are survivors who are working to do better for their kids and wanting more resources about healthy parenting. I think you would be awesome for that and it could be a really interesting conversation. Just a little dream of mine I thought I'd throw out there.

[laulutar]

I think some people also struggle to understand that a parent's job also changes throughout the lifespan of their child(ren). Being the parent of an infant or toddler requires a different skill set than being the parent of adult children who still benefit from your love, support and wisdom at times. I think one thing my parents did particularly well is move from parenting children still in the family home, to forming an adult relationship with their own children. My mum has said that she learned the importance of that from her own parents and her parents-in-law, which makes me thankful that she is willing and able to learn from her own experiences, without assuming that those are the only experiences out there.

[camipockets]

I super needed this reminder today. Thanks!❤

[MrWildplum]

I think there are two things at play. 1. It isn't a data driven statement i.e. highly subjective. 2. It implies an objective 'right' way to parent, which is false. It's as broad of a statement as saying "I'm good at Art" instead of " I'm good at painting"

[MSK-jdfi]

The thing about parenting is your success or failure can’t be definitely assessed for 20 or more years. People freak out about kids not being advanced learners in preschool or early elementary (and I was one of those who agonized about it) when a lot of that stuff shakes out by the time they get to high school.

[habituscraeft]

I think one factor is that lot of people look back at how their parents cannot see what they did wrong and worry that they have similar blindspots and might accidentally damage their own child(ren). In this view, only children well out of the nest are "allowed" to diagnose, and only in retrospect, who the good parents were. That's the most generous interpretation I can think of, for this kind of reaction, because it comes from children who might have taken a long time to realise that their own upbringing was deeply flawed.

But I think the second, more petty reason people get squeamish is that everyone has run into that one parent whose child has been really "easy" and give advice from a place of assuming that their good experience is a result of their parenting, rather than part of a two-way relationship. (Obviously, you have raised many children and are not doing this—and, as you said, you are not parenting **at** people—but Confirmation Bias makes it very easy for viewers to pull entire bundles of ideas into their reactions, simply because they're used to seeing them together and aren't listening critically. **You** might not be parenting at them, but they are so used to defending themselves that their hackles go up, regardless.)