Lesson in White Fragility | Big Brother | Season 26, Episode 7

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Ever wonder what white fragility actually looks like? Ever have a hard time describing white fragility to someone else? Ever wonder what to call a strange reaction from a white person in the face of fearing the label "racist"? This lesson in white fragility is brought to you by Angela, T'Kor, & Cedric from Big Brother Season 26.

White fragility is when a white person is hypersensitive to being labeled racist, or being given feedback about implicit racism, when, in fact, being given feedback about our implicit racism, as white people, is a gift, because that person wouldn't give you feedback if they didn't think we were capable of change. They're taking a risk by giving us feedback, especially because white fragility is the common response (seen here--it's no fun for the person giving feedback) from a white person. In this case, T'Kor wasn't even suggesting that Angela was racist, and she still had a white fragile response, because one of the aspects of white fragility is being oversensitive to the implication that we're racist, even when someone isn't suggesting that.

So, instead of what Angela did, try the following response:
1. Remember that we were all raised in a racist culture, and no one gets a pass. People of color know this, and won't be thinking of you as the particularly horrible person, just because some of your implicit bias is showing.
2. Remember that explicit racism (consciously disliking others from a different race) is distinct from implicit racism (subconsciously acting/thinking/feeling in ways that promotes whiteness/dominant race over other marginalized races in white-dominant cultures due to social conditioning), and we all have implicit racism that we will all be working to address for the remainders of our lives.
3. With this humility/knowledge/desire for growth in mind, you will be able to more calmly ask questions and be curious about the feedback you are being given. Maybe they're not even implying your implicit bias is showing, such as in this case! So take a deep breath, really listen carefully and ask questions to make sure you understand.
4. If given feedback about implicit bias, remain calm, apologize meaningfully, and express an interest in learning and doing better in the future.
5. Offer appreciation for the feedback given, as it is never easy to give. Remember that feedback on implicit bias is a gift, because that person believes you can accept it and change, or they wouldn't bother giving it!
6. Dedicate yourself to doing better in the future.

Here are some helpful resources on white fragility:

NOTE: Y'all, we don't endorse or encourage cyberbullying in any way--it's one thing to point out behaviors, it's quite another to go after who people are. Note that we try to stick to the former, and we hope we can all do the same, in part because we wouldn't want to be treated otherwise if we were in their shoes. This is friendly critique to encourage growth for all of us, rather than trying to down anyone.

Video: Big Brother (CBS)
Music: Nonsense x Sabrina Carpenter
Beggin' x Maneskin