#93: 6 Things Women Need to Know About Men

Ladies, do you wish someone would have told you the things you had to learn the hard way about men? I don’t know about you, but I wish I’d known the things I’m going to tell you when I was first married. If you know how men think, and you become fluent in their language, your marriage or relationship will be exponentially stronger.

So for those who have a strong desire to understand men, I’m going to discuss in this episode six things you need to know about men that will change the entire course of your relationship.

IN THIS EPISODE:

3:00  Men are easy to please and quick to forgive

3:30  Men are simple and have far fewer needs than women do. Respect, companionship and sex are the basics

4:15   A man’s identity is inextricably linked to his ability to provide and protect

5:00 When a woman makes considerably more than her husband it’s a tougher road for the marriage.

6:20  Since women are not wired to provide and protect, their reaction to being the primary breadwinner is very different from a man’s

7:15   The result of a shift in economic power usually shows itself negatively in the bedroom

8:30   Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time

9:00  The truth about “multitasking” is not superior

10:20  The fact that men can only do one thing at a time is something to admire

11:10  Men need time to process their emotions. Leave them alone while they do

13:15  Men don’t like to fight with women

15:29  Learn to talk less and move slower

16:50  Men don’t just want sex—they NEED it

17:20  A married man whose wife doesn't like sex or who won't have sex will either seek it elsewhere or suffer in silence

19:40  Men have a physical need for sex that women do not

𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲:

𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄:

𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗦𝘂𝘇𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮:

[alphalifestyleacademy]

20:35 men do a lot of things for their wives when they are not in the mood, tired and don't feel like it.

[DrGingerHamster]

Suzanne is absolutely correct. We go out slay dragons all dang day, and when we come home, we want peace, quiet. Men will step up and fight the battle but for God's sake, not when we come home. Peace, and quiet, please. Not another fight...after 12 hours of fighting. Yikes.

[Richard_AKL]

Women don't realise that for a man, his house and his wife is supposed to be a safe place. Respect is valued by men as love, and if a woman is constantly nit-picking at everything he says or does, that is NOT respect, and his home and wife will not be a safe space, so he will try get that elsewhere (not saying it will necessarily be another woman, but could be video games, drinking with friends, sports or something else) - don't set him up to fail.

[darwinmorden]

I have seen when women earn more than the husband they form a whole new social life and the marriage is doomed.

[nrudy]

The reason women don't try to understand men is they think they already know it all. And they generally don't actually care about what men think or why, they just want to know enough to manipulate him into doing what they want. One of the great ironies of the feminist culture is that I'm objectified as a thing to have in woman's life, but not actually valued on a human level. Obviously, I've had to go and learn this the hard way but I think there's some hope to be had if the entire dating and marriage market crumbles to dust and women realize they need to change.

[bw]

Back in the day when horses were necessary for everyday life, men and even women had to learn the ways of horses to work seamlessly with them to accomplish vital tasks with them and not get hurt accidentally as they easily weigh 2000 lbs. we had to learn the language of horses, how they behaved and responded etc. how is it in 2021 where half the society is men, that women don't understand men, ? Do we live on another planet? I suggest it's a combination of things, the women are taught it's all about them, focus on yourself, men are removed from homes and children aren't in contact with fathers, and society also teaches that men are stupid, losers, toxic etc etc. who would want to get close to that? It's way more than lack of info. We are dying from a thousand paper cuts. Ps: if you want to do anything with a horse learn to move slowly, be gentle and quieter, and not antagonistic.. if you cant learn to be that way then forget it.. same thing works for men, I agree .

[mancmanomomyst]

There are a few things here that I think are more nuanced than presented.

For example, the men can only concentrate on one thing at a time isn't really true. If you think about the jobs that men do, they're constantly task switching and actually we're really good at it.

However, when we come home, we don't want to have to work that hard.

I think a better way to put it is that men are much better at concentrating on one thing to an obsessive level of detail rather than they can't task switch.

The second thing is the men need sex one. Replace the word sex with physical intimacy and it's more accurate. Men need to feel wanted. Touch is important for all human beings. Women get that from their friends, family and children but men are more reliant on their partners for touch.

If you talk to escorts they'll tell you that often what men want more than anything is that girlfriend experience of physical affection and empathy. When a man says he wants sex, that's often what it is that he's getting out of it. I'm not saying he doesn't enjoy the sex as well but actually sometimes sex is unfulfilling for a man if it doesn't come with that affection. Spreading your legs isn't enough!

[markumbers]

"It will either destroy your marriage or destroy your husband". Every woman needs to deeply understand this because there are consequences for her too. She will suffer financially, and emotionally from divorce. If however, the man develops depression from a bad marriage and takes his own life, then grief, guilt, regret and loneliness come in to play. Couples really need to be kind to each other. Many men need to step up too by staying off the booze and drugs and holding down a job. If you have a man that brings a responsible attitude to your partnership you have a man worthy of everything you have to give.

[robertnewett]

I think #5 is a topic that needs to be addressed more. Men are not biologically wired to be combative towards women. In fact, i would argue that is a huge reason why modern feminism is as awful as it has ever been. Men not being biologically wired to be combatitive with women is a huge reason women are not being called out or held accountable for many of their poor actions, like excessive consumer spending, 2/3 of all consumer debt, single motherhood, shaming men, abandoning traditional family values, etc.

[michaelsix]

Such a great video. I'm 65, and never married, and often feel I should have tried harder to do it. I handled many divorces as a paralegal, and the stories scared me away. We now have the lowest marriage rates ever recorded in our nation's history. It's kinda sad.

[macnadoodle]

I have to say, as a middle aged man, that sex is really the vehicle by which appreciation and a "safe harbor" can be realised. We are not just wanting to get our rocks off, but really seeking almost a return to primordial safety. The world is a tough unforgiving place for men, which is why stoical men survive and thrive more than the non-stoical. But that comes at the cost of emotional softness, and in sex, its that emotional softness and femininity that we are really seeking.

[curly]

Suzanne,
You are so right.
The Holy Bible states that; "It is better to live on the corner of the roof, than live in a home with a contentious woman."

I waited to leave my ex-wife, until my precious baby daughter graduated high school. It took three months after I left before the stress bled off and my stomach quit hurting me. Twenty years of stress was enough for me; I have never been re-married. She is in her fourth marriage.
No woman has made it past three dates with me. I always see some trait that is a deal breaker.

I am a devout Christian, a retired C.P.A. and an ex heavyweight college wrestler. I was very, very physically fit, strong, quick and fast. And very intelligent. She continually harassed me and yelled at me. She chased all my family and friends away and dominated the house. She threatened me with divorce and taking my "gift from God" daughter from me. In many of her rages, she would get right in my face and scream "hit me, you know you want to".

She made me beg for sex and completely cowtow to her or she would also deny me sex.

My daughter is now a very successful lawyer, with two very happy children and a good marriage. It was wirth me staying for her sake.

[thaliakate]

Powerful tips. Fortunately I never bought into the anti-male narrative. Feminism never made sense to me. I watched my dad work non-stop for us, everything he earned, all for us. We didn’t get affection or words of affirmation, but by age 17 I realised working to provide posthumously is the ultimate act of love from a man. Mothers sacrifice their bodies, fathers sacrifice their lives. ❤

[zippy_uk]

SHE: I dont want to have sex I am not in the mood.
HE: I dont want to pay your bills because i am not in the mood.

The first one is her right, the second is him committing a crime.

Remind me again why marriage rates are through the floor???

[chrismoore]

Men don't fight with people where the fight can never lead to violence. If you force a fight with a man, he is either going to withdraw or be moved to violence. That is where fighting goes for men. Women fight verbally, men fight for real.

[sticks]

Men don't like to fight with women because for men war means "total war" and you wouldn't do that that to the person you love and cherish. Men are built to fight and not just in a physical way but also in a intelligent way, remember, it's a total war and I found this out when I got divorced. Many couples get divorced so nothing new there but when I had to fight, not in a physical way but a intelligent way then my ex-wife found out the hard way what it means to fight a man. Nobody wins in a divorce, nobody but I didn't lose either and my ex came out worse off despite everything she was told.

[jackdeniston]

yUp, give me time, it is not sulking, it is process. Men don't like to fight, but women do.

[tomschiller]

You should add one thing to #2: "...his ability to provide, protect, and to LEAD." It is extremely important to a man to feel like the leader of his "pack". If his wife usurps important decisions, does not consult him, or just outright defies his wishes, it will lead to a broken marriage.

[voltairedecent]

If I gave this to my wife, it would only tell her that she isn’t infallible. And we can’t have that, can we? 🤦

[binarydigit]

Solid gold, thank you Suzanne!!

Imagine if a wife tried to hug her husband, but instead of accepting her advance he pulls away and says, "Sorry honey, I don't feel like doing that right now. It's my body. You have a pillow you can cuttle with until the next time I'm in the mood for that. But I still love you though!" How hurt would she feel by that? It would be devastating. Because in her mind, he didn't just reject the action of hugging. He rejected HER as his woman. She needs emotional intimacy to feel loved by him.

Now imagine if a husband has been working in the yard on a hot summer day and he really needs to cool off somehow. The first thing he thinks of is going to the water park with his wife. He imagines how great the cool water will feel, how much fun they'll have going on all the different rides, and how amazingly relaxed and stress-free they'll both feel afterwards. So he asks his wife but she says, "Sorry honey, I'm too tired to do that today. But let's watch a movie instead?" He probably wouldn't feel very hurt by that. Why? Because it's just a rejection of the activity. He can cool off with a shower; not as much fun of course but it gets the job done. But when it comes to sexual rejection, it's not just a rejection of the activity, it's a rejection of HIM as her man. He needs physical intimacy to feel loved by her.