Portland porch pirate gets a stinky surprise!

One homeowner is done with porch pirates stealing packages. And payback comes with a strong odor. You could even says he's causing a big "stink" about it. "I had something disappear off the porch and it was really frustrating," Matt Coats said. "I figured it would probably happen again. So, I filled up a box full of dog poop."

[tonysmith]

They Should put poop in a box. Then cover with foam packing peanuts. The thief will try to reach in. And grab a hand full of poop.

[Me]

By blurring their faces, KGW is inadvertently helping these criminals get away with it and to continue this behavior.

[louidanie]

They are thieves so you don't have to block out their faces. Let the world see.

[mvcharisma]

This is why I live on 50 acres. If you trespass on my property, you’ll end up 6ft under

[loridyson]

I like the dog, it sounded like he was saying "and I helped".

[sarahnone]

We use old Amazon boxes when we clean the kitty litter boxes they often get stolen off the porch it's pretty funny

[steve]

I caught a porch pirate and his girlfriend stealing a couple of packages at my front door. I live on a lonely farm with no neighbors for miles, a real secluded place. Got a notification on my ring door bell. I never ever had problems of theft until now.

I came out of my house with my AR 15 rifle and told them to both to put my shit back at the door. A man with a thick New York accent said Fuck you ! What are you going to do? Shoot us ?

I said no, but I will put 40 rounds in that fancy car of yours. He thought I was bluffing so I shot his tire out. They both ran to my door to put the packages back.

In the meantime his girlfriend called 911. It took the Sheriff 35 minutes to get to my house. I knew the sheriff very well, used to hunt and fish with him.

As soon a the Sheriff arrives I put my rifle in the house. I explained what happened. Dude starts crying about how I shot his tire out. The Sheriff says, do you have any idea what’s in one of those packages, the New Yorker says who cares.

The Sheriff says, that you were stealing that mans diabetic insulin, that man could die without his medicine. The Sheriff arrests both of the them for trespassing, theft class felony since my medical cost $400.00

The New Yorker says what about my car and the blown tire. The Sheriff says don’t worry I will impound your car. lol !

[SpiffyMcZender]

Somebody should fill a package full of live cockroaches and leave it for a porch pirate. Can you imagine a thief opening the package in their car or home and a horde of cockroaches come scurrying out of it?

[davidrichman]

I had the same issues with porch pirates in the apartment building, someone was waiting for someone to go into the back door and follow right behind them and steal the packages that were left by the mall boxes after the residents got onto the elevator and the door was closed, we told the building manager and they put someone into the steps just past the elevator and as soon as they pick up the packages the maintenance man and the plumber came out but the porch pirates tried to get out the door before they could be stopped, except when they went out the door there were 2 local cops standing there and arrested them, they opened the pickup bed cover and found 300 stolen packages in the back and after 2 weeks all of the residents in the building got they're packages returned and the porch pirates were tried and went to jail

[danielgoodrich]

People always called me paranoid for having packages sent to a P.O. Box turns out I was just ahead of my time as usual.

[oddballdynamics.]

The penalties for this are too lax. This should be federal crime for stealing mail.

[rbodell]

Years ago during the NYC garbage strike my friend would gift wrap his garbage and leave it on the back seat of his car with the window rolled down. Everyday after work his garbage had been stolen.

[fafinaf]

I would love to have a box stuffed with liquid diarrhea that is rigged to explode at the touch of a button.

Edit: Yes.. I said liquid diarrhea. My bad 😅

[chubbychubbs]

A little different, but years ago staff at a major store I worked for used to work late at night and they would get an allowance for food, every few days items would go missing from lunch boxes and in the fridge, getting fed up, a meeting was called by our manager to warn whoever it was that they could face dismissal, nevertheless it still carried on, particularly with chocolate and cakes, my workmate bought in a sponge cake, jam and cream filling, gently parting the two layers we scooped out the centre filling and filled with extremely hot chilli sauce leave just the very outer jam and cream to conceal and look untouched, the cake went missing, and so did our manager, he had tried to hide, bright red face, eyes watering and voice almost gone…. Nothing was said but all the staff… 20 of us, knew who the thief was.

[GoTommyBoy]

I need to start a business that just delivers booby trapped packages for criminals. You order one, leave on the porch, and later a thief opens a high explosive box and gets turned to red mist. I feel like that's a fair punishment for thieves.

[freddiesandoval]

Why do ya'll blur thier faces instead of exposing them

[dandilts]

Let’s not give a nice title of “porch pirates” to them. They are THIEVES. Nothing more, nothing better. Just plain THIEVES!!

[elizabethczepiel]

As an ex-courier, in case no one was home I always made sure anything I had to leave was securely hidden from view from the street. As a suggestion, may I ask home owners if you're expecting a delivery, please leave a note giving the courier permission to leave your delivery at the back door for safety.

[brycegipple]

If I ever had to deal with this problem, and if it were completely up to me, I would've made a "dye pack" box that sprayed permanent dye and tear gas, which would VIOLENTLY explode (180-decibel bang and million-candela flash) within 5 seconds after leaving the porch. The permanent dye would stain clothing and put a mark on the porch pirate's face for identification purposes, and the tear gas would add to the consequences as a severe eye, skin, and respiratory irritant. That ought to teach'em a thing or two about touching what isn't theirs. Git'r done!

[barbarathesecretary]

Someone used to stop at our house every Saturday and steal our newspaper. We caught on and left a dummy paper on the stoop with the poopy newspaper from the bottom of our parrot's cage, with a few extra feathers and rotten fruit. It never happened again.