WIBTA if I Cancel the Wedding After My Fiance Suggested I Put My Son Up for Adoption?

[AwenitaOrtega-clbe]

Nta. Run! That's not a good relationship. You made it clear in the beginning.

[ritarevell]

You and your son are a package deal. If he doesn't want him, eventually it will cause the relationship to fail.

[tobiasnivalis]

NTA. Leave. The fiancé not only told OP that he'll never view OP's son as his own kid, but he further just decided that the kid was going to put up for adoption without even discussing anything with OP. If you're dating a parent, especially a single parent, they're a package deal with their kid(s). At least if they're a good parent, and if they're not, I have to question why their partner is in a relationship with them.

[turquoiseheart]

1. S.O. assumes you'll adopt together
2. S.O. assumes you'll give up your own child for adoption/ that things will change after marriage
3. S.O. makes you choose between him or someone else you love
4. S.O. ends the relationship/ ghosts you for a few days/ gives you the silent treatment
5. S.O. resumes contact as if nothing happened and tries to re-establish the relationship
6.S.O. negotiates new conditions for relationship to placate you for a while then later draws a higher standard of demands when they think they got you under control again
If i missed a step or a red flag im sure other comments will clarify the abusive/ controling/ narcissistic approach the relationship is taking. OP get out now you aren't safe nor is your child.

[ShanylCooper]

End the engagement!! Get away from him!!

[kat]

Not a good relationship do not give Your Child up you get the right thing always choose your kids over anyone I wouldn't get married take care of your your child he needs you I love you

[cherylwalrond]

You have to think about canceling the wedding?!?!?!!?? Where is your head? And that man’s head is up his butt!!

[Lelz]

When someone tells you to prioritise them over your child isnt husband or wife material if they can give an ultimatum like that. NTA OP, but your fiancé is a massive AH. You saw his true colors before it was too late. Under the circumstances or not, it doesn't give him the rights to weaponize your past like that to manipulate you into giving up your son.

Run as fast as you can. If he can't accept your son thats apart of you then he isnt worthy of being a parent or partner.

[christieintexas]

Run! I can guarantee that if yall adopt, he's going to make your son's life pure hell. The new child will clearly be his favorite. Your son doesn't need the pain of knowing his new parent really doesn't want him. Find a partner that will love not only you but also your child. He clearly doesn't love your son if he wants to give him up so easily. It's as if he's trying to toss old trash away.

[MeigetsuNoSeishin]

NTA! Wnd the entire relationship, not just the engagement!

[varvarahatzoglou]

Don't even think about it! His way of thinking does not make any sense. He is not confused, he is evil. If you marry him, both you and your son will suffer as he seems to have his own hidden agendas. Start thinking about the future: what will happen if something happened to you and he was the only "parent" to your child? Or any child? He would get rid of him and any other child just to have space for a brand new start with someone else. A child is not a piece of furniture.

[SeaFireK]

As someone who's single parent married a stepparent who hates my guts, absolutely not. You do not want that person in your child's life. You will give your child severe mental trauma for their entire life and screw up their entire life.

[linoonehat]

Nta. You can always find another man. You won't be able to find another of your own kid

[sandrasausville]

NTA if they make you choose between the children or them, bye my child will always come first

[henderson]

Nope run and run fast if the child is your first priority

[dtulip]

I'm surprised you have to even ask!

[TheTreenity]

Nta why is that even a question? Gah i hope this shits fake

[mareklequebecoiszpolski]

Nta, that guy shouldve known what he was getting into

[Ahem-ncnt]

If you marry he will clearly have a favorite child. And will accuse you of having one

[thegreenmanofnorwich]

I'm curious as to the rest. If it's that OP is having a breakdown, or hates being a parent or something, then I kind of get it. However, all other things being equal, the fiancé sounds pretty horrid.