Why I Rethought My Life With My Husband In My 70’s | Life With Sandra Hart

Why I rethought my life in my late 70’s. We don’t have to stay on that hamster wheel just because we are older. It is never too late to rethink your life.

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[katheryn]

It took me 38 years to call it quits. But the peace I gained for whatever life I have left made it worth the change.

[esteeb]

I married my husband when I was 19. When our son was 10 and our daughter 8 there were things my husband was battling that made me feel my children and myself were not safe. So I decided to separate from him. I loved my husband very much and I knew the demons so to speak, that caused him to make some poor decisions. Through the separation he saw his children, helped support us financially and got counseling. It was his wake up call so to speak. We reunited a little over a year later. He changed his ways and we stayed married for going on 41 years until he passed October of 2022. ❤

[lanelmuhammad]

Sandra this video could not have come at a better time. I’m a 24 year old black, gay man from Indianapolis and just last night was contemplating leaving my relationship of 3 years. Your video today was exactly what the doctor ordered. Please keep doing what you do. Thank you

[tmcaleer]

After 26 years I could no longer take it after years of trying and called it quits. He refused to go to therapy telling me I needed to go, I went and came to new conclusions for myself as a result. He would not speak to me for months on end if there was a difference of opinion or if I did not agree to do something he ordered me to do. I sprouted wings at the time I made the decision and told him I wanted to divorce. Frankly, I was the only horse pulling the cart and finally felt free free free of the gaslighting, narcissistic emotional mistreatment I had been receiving from him all those years.🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️Wheee, I was free!! 🎉🎉🎉 all I can say to those that have a similar situation, trust your instincts, they were given to you as a gift, do not ignore them. We deserve to have a joy filled and happy life free of perpetual walking on eggshells waiting for the monster to come out again.

[carolhedberg]

Fascinating talk. I'm in a miserable 46-year marriage with a terminally ill man, and I made the decision to stay because the burden of his care would fall on my children with young children of their own. It's a hard call every day-some days, he's not so bad, and other days the end won't come soon enough. God and I have lots of deep conversations. The reality is that I am responsible for my own happiness, and I've achieved that every day.

[deewise]

Sandra, I was married for 35 years to a wonderful, quiet man for 33 of those years. We built a studio separate from our house, which we were going to share. By the time he filled his “half”, there was no room for me. Gradually the studio became his home and the house was mine and the dog’s. We began to live separate lives and the five years difference in our ages seemed to grow. I tried an intervention with our son (my step son) but it did no good. We finally split 5 years ago and surprisingly I met a younger man who is quite wonderful. The roads in life can take us to such surprising places.

[AnnMitt]

Being married into your 60s & 70s is a test of your tolerance and patience. It's vital that each partner has their own set of hobbies and friends.

[WendyFilice-pi]

I totally understand. I was married to a narcissist for 15 yrs and had no idea. Once I was given a book on this type of personality I finally got out. 🙏❤️ My home has so much peace now.

[jsams]

I had to ask myself those hard questions at 60. It was scary at the thought of starting over but I did it...I left because I realized he did not want to change. As a narcissist, he enjoyed how he lived his life and I needed to get out so I could enjoy mine as well. I had been resigning myself to a life with him as I was afraid to start over at 60. I love my life now and no longer am walking on eggshells or tiptoeing around his moods and absorbing his abuse. It hasn't been easy...he didn't make it easy, but I made the right decision to save myself. I did it mostly for my new granddaughter at the time because I didn't want her witnessing her grandmother in a psychologically abusive relationship. I wanted to be a better role model and I wanted a better life. Thank you for sharing your experience. We all have to decide what is best for our particular situation. I am glad your husband was willing to go for counselling and make the changes he could ♥

[conniec]

Stopped a divorce action with my 1st husband and my attorney advised that if it had got to the point where it was decided divorce was the best option and the divorce action was stopped, that people ended up coming back shortly thereafter to refile and complete the divorce, and he was right. Staying in a less than tolerable situation just because a person has spent so many years in that situation, is a disservice to a person’s very soul.

[rae-annhendershot]

I stayed single for the 17 years I raised my daughter, some of the best years of my life.

[suesilva]

Arthur hit the jackpot with you, Sandra.
And that, is the truth ❤

[BedfordFalls]

Thank you Sandra for doing this video and your honesty. I have been married to a man for 22 years now who from day one never wanted me in the same bedroom. It was full of yelling at me and the son he had already had when he met me. He is full of anger which was hidden from me when dating him. I never get a hug, or attention. He got a big house with a huge yard that by the time I was fifty five I begged him to move. I didn't want to do the stairs anymore and the place and yard are just too much. I dream of my own ranch house here in MA. He doesn't even care how the house looks or the yard. So he is hanging on to it while I'm miserable and about to turn 67 in 3 months. No intimacy ever. I feel so alone and that I deserve better. He just used me to babysit his son, clean the house and have someone to yell at. I don't drive do to anxiety attacks I can get. So it will be hard. But I have decided Life if too short to live so unfulfilled.I have stayed long enough.

[ritafetner]

My husband is bipolar and won’t take his meds for it. He verbally abuses me daily. Long story short everything I do is wrong so stressful. We have been married 53 yrs I am 73 he is 77. All our working yrs we worked separate hours since retirement it has been rough. I have aged a lot where he hasn’t. Thanks for listening

[debbiekaras]

I wake up and for about 15 seconds I feel my happy self, and then it hits me the misery i am in with this man. You give me strength, you give me courage.

[grandpahickory]

my wife of 44 years died of cancer...I cry a lot....She was an angel sent to me ! I called her Kitten...She was the greatest friend I have ever had in all my life of am 72 years old, and Forever Alone...I was her caregiver, and was there holding her hand at the bed side when she died on hospice in November 2017....I am as a sparrow Alone upon the housetop ...

[doveandolive]

I've heard from many women who reach the wise age over 65 and say those exact words "I've had it and I deserve peace and quiet". Women are amazing human beings - we find our inner strength & courage no matter what decisions we choose and more forward. Thank you for sharing you personal story with all of us Sandra. And may all the women out there in the world find their "peace and quiet"❤ One of my favorite quotes
~ I want to be like a sunflower 🌻so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight☀~

[mscappel]

I recently separated from my husband who is an extreme taker. He exhibits narcissistic personality traits and maybe some bipolar traits as well. We have been married for four very difficult years. He never physically hurt me, but the emotional and mental abuse was constant. I always tried to keep the peace and tried to keep the triggers from setting him off. It is very difficult and scary to leave a person who you put all of your faith and trust into. However, when they don't respect you, show you any kindness, or acknowledge that their behavior toward you is wrong, it's time to leave. When they lie to you, and cheat on you, it's time to leave. When they yell at you at the top of their lungs and make you feel like you don't matter, it's time to leave. It's been almost three months since I moved out and here is what I notice. I can breathe again. My racing mind has slowed down, and I am starting to feel safe. The pain in my body from being tense all the time is starting to subside. My friends call to check on me more often and spend time with me because he always discouraged them or made them feel unwelcomed in the past. I am starting to feel little glimmers of happiness, and tiny sparks of creativity again. No one should have to put up with this type of treatment just because they took a vow of "for better or worse". "Worse" should never be abuse, and I'm glad you clarified that at the beginning Sandra.

[SMElder-iyfl]

I tried to stay in my marriage because I had said my vows and believed in them. He did not and told me to leave. I'm so grateful! I would have ruined my life if I had stayed.

[suzettecooper]

Hello Sandra I was married for 25 years to a totally unfaithful and controlling man. I wanted to leave but found it extremely difficult as I had very little time alone. I couldn't abandon my rescue pets. My family had all passed away.
But, as fate had it he became extremely ill with liver and bowel cancer. I nursed him till it became too difficult as I wasn't able to lift him . He died in hospital a week later. I've been living alone for 10 years with my now elderly pets. When they pass I will move on.
I met a very kind man but made sure he knows I only want companionship. We see each other often. I feel freedom is my best friend.