Kids for no Reason

[lindseycaldwell]

"My dear, you cannot blow bubbles indoors." "But, Mama, I most certainly am capable."

[stevelandmartin-khan]

“These vegetables…. They displease me.”

[DulihaFiore]

" Mama, these eggs would make an excellent addition to your freshly cleaned carpet."

[bootz]

"Bed time? BED TIME?! What madness spews forth from thy cavernous head cave?! The glowing orange balloon in the sky is still up, and so shall I stay!"

[Theturtleowl]

"Mama, papa, we have had this, 'sibling' as you call it for a week now. I would like to return it from wherever it came from for I am tired of sharing your attention."

[nosajimiki]

I'm American, but when my oldest daughter was was young, she really liked British cartoons, and she actually talked like this... accept instead of calling food inevitable, she would say "it does not suit my palate". It was freaking adorable.

[znuffyztruggles]

"Mama, Papa did accidentally step on my head, why the police are asking you why I said my parents kicked me is beyond me"
*paraphrase of something I actually did as a kid*

[Arianddu]

I am also compelled by cheese. Admittedly not to rub it on windows, but still.

[sydneyslaughter]

“This is a koala plate, I clearly requested the panda plate!”

[samanthacrevellari]

"Mama, we have been waiting for Papa during this awful hot season inside our carriage. My dear brother seemed to need a refreshing bath, so I have taken upon myself to complete this task. The fact that we only had milk available from his feeding bottle is most certainly not my fault. Nevertheless, he seems most delighted" - Something I actually did when little.

[tecwynjones]

"Mother, I have drawn a fantastic mural on the walls of the living room. Please, gaze upon my excellence!
...
What do you mean this action was blasphemous! My pièce de résistance doesn't appease you??"

[KODarakor]

The intensity of "The train to choo choo city must run" was may more compelling that it had any right to be.

[oleggalchukp]

I once met my mom's boss when I was like 7 or so. Right at the moment when she was supposed to get her salary from him, I suddenly interrupted them and started yelling something along the lines of: "Hey! You're the guy who my mom hates! You're a big doodoo!"

I remember him laughing hysterically.

[TFCrunchyFrog]

Combining toddlers and the narration of a Jane Austen novel is pure brilliance.

[FavChanger]

"Parents! I'm hungry. You need to feed me breakfast." Direct quote from me at 4 years old standing at the foot of my parents bed.

[Jeewanu]

"Mama, I specifically requested the chicken nuggies from McDonald's as they are the most palatable. What is this disgrace? I shall have this 'Burger King' destroyed for such impudence!"

[dannydersman]

Mama, I regret to inform you my fart is on the floor. Good day.

[Myrkin]

"Your vegetables offend me. Cloak them from my sight."

[elizabethstump]

To quote my niece when she was four, "Give me a dollar or I'll throw this book at you."

[Brasswendigo]

Indeed "Wheels on the bus" is an absolute banger. 😂