why i stopped vlogging

MENTIONED:

Instagram @leahsfieldnotes

00:00 the inner critic lives rent free
01:25 the gift of triggers
03:05 self-doubt as self-harm
06:16 fear diminishes with action
07:45 use *hope + dreams*
10:09 living alone vs. at home
11:01 does my life partner exist?
12:30 gentle parenting myself / would I have kids ?

[malinimenon]

Sometimes life is about living the questions instead of finding all the answers ✨

[susancorgi]

I am 48 years old and have done so much in my life, did so many type of jobs, reinvented myself 50 times and still find your videos very inspiring. I also have a 3 month old daughter, and i wish she would be as smart and as grounded person as you. thank you. you are truly a unique soul.

[jasmincl]

this video really hit a spot for me! im 21 and navigating through a tough time, learning some things the hard way but also trying to be more gentle with myself. living for others, serving and meeting their expectations is draining and im still struggling to develop more compassion for myself and my needs because i dont wanna let them down although its not my responsibility. thank you leah!!

[auntyvic]

This is random but related. Sometimes I randomly think about the Mona Lisa and how thousands of people visit the Louvre daily. I’ve heard so many people say it’s unimpressive and I just want to say to them I think it’s a damn good thing da Vinci wasn’t trying to impress YOU. I guess it goes without saying that when we make impactful work or connections especially nowadays in a world riddled with envy accusation and assumptions, a lot of people will be eggy, unimpressed, and unfortunately even hostile. And the worst part is no matter how much we tell ourselves it shouldn’t matter, it does and it still hurts so much.

I can say as someone who’s chronically online just trying to feel something that you are different Leah. For however much time you end up putting out your work and thoughts on here I’ll forever be grateful.

[mellorabbit]

"Do I question it every week before my period?"

SO RELATABLE 😭

Also I'm glad this video got uploaded as I was just having another severe case of self-doubt again a few minutes ago 🥹

[geelychee]

Leah, I can’t tell you how perfect of a time this video came. I just quit my first big girl architecture job after almost three years - it’s been a week since and I have been trying to navigate through so much self doubt and questioning if I made the right decision. I tend to spiral when it comes to negative thoughts, so your words about acknowledging self doubt and fear, but going into it with hope and action are truly comforting. Thank you as always - I have been watching your vids for years now, and it’s been great to see how much you yourself have grown and become so wise 😌

[tarawilde]

I had a list of qualities I wanted in a life partner. I could not have designed a better partner than the man that waltzed into my life 6 years ago. He has strengths and qualities that I never would have chosen for myself.

I thought I wanted someone who liked most of the things I liked. But really.. he cooks, he cleans and he’s secure in himself. We agree on the fundamentals of life but our interests and passions are so different. We have so many things to talk about because our experiences and opinions can be so different.

[lolo_s]

this really helped me to realize the importance of listening to one’s own needs and what we can do to live better, thank you for that, this place is beautiful by the way ! Can’t wait to look forward to seeing your evolution again and again, it allows me to grow more serenely, to see other young adults sharing their doubt ❤️

[JusticeConstantine]

Thank you Leah for being so open about the things you have been processing in your life. There are so many lines you have said that I want to write in my journal as inspirational quotes. Though, ten months late or two months early, "Happy belated 27th birthday" or "Happy early 28th birthday".

[tabi]

idk how much this will help anyone but as a person in my early 20s, what has really helped is to always get back up after a failure. sth about pushing thru even when the odds are 'against' your favour. keep pushing, aim high and keep trying. be gentle with yourself too. it may never make sense but we tried <3

[sameomeow]

i hope that the next time you think about how many people are triggered by what you say and do not agree with you, that you also remember there are 10x as many people who are waiting for your videos every week and watch till the very end because i care about what you have to say and everytime you upload it feels like i can finally enter my safe space again and see someone who inspire me to take care of myself as well <3

[JWu]

I am 29 and 2 years ago I moved away from my home country to another continent to start a new life. Being an outsider of the local culture I am struggling to make myself recognized by the new environment. This year I've learned to prioritize my own needs over the expectation of external interests. Self-doubt has become not a judgment of my worth, but rather a tool for self-discovery and understanding.

[mdwn__]

I like how open you are Leah, I resonate with so many of the things you said. I've started a new role and signed a lease to move in with my partner recently, and started having imposter syndrome. But you're right! Fear with action makes the fear smaller. Sometimes in uncertainty, we just have to keep doing, iterating, and retrospectiving.

[sofiab.]

I just graduated after 7 years of struggling through undergrad with the anxiety that I'm "falling behind" - I hope to center myself in understanding that I'm exactly where I want - and need - to be.. I realized I've been pushing down some personal desires for the sake of 'success', but I'm ready now. I want to pursue the things that have always scared me, because I can trust myself. Thanks for another lovely video <3

[rebeccatrys]

This really hit, in all sorta ways. I had been super full of self-doubt, thinking about my choices, perceived mistakes, and current projections. Similar to you I’m turning 27 in June (woopie gemini life) and just all over the place. I moved to a new place back-ish home (moved around for a while then came back home, but not with family), lost a close friend, and just changed like whole career. I reevaluated a lot of what makes me happy and really matters to me. I can happily say choosing myself was an amazing choice and one that looks different daily. I’m in a smoother path where I’ll be starting a new job at a farm soon leaving a job with pretty toxic mentality, trying to find a community around me (friends who align w me) and just deepening my relationship with my partner. It’s all been a journey and it still isn’t perfect and I don’t have it figured out, at all, but like all the little actions and changes are really helping me go to what feels best. If you’re ever in LA love to chat! Feel like we’ve been in a pretty similar wave, but sounds like so many of us are!! Good luck on your move and your next steps!

[thatseyss]

Leah you're an amazing human. This is beautiful. Being a 20 year old, contemplating life and dreams, watching myself scared of living and people, isolating, self sabotaging, lost, self doubting and running away from myself at the same time wanting to figure out life in general is so difficult for me.
I was always the odd one everywhere, and now, since i find humans like you I've had this realization, no, there are people existing with similar thoughts, still trying and navigating their life, still scared and self doubting and that is a humane thing! maybe a little different from others but this is us, this is me, growing vulnerable and delicate and it's fine🤍

this is my first time commenting anywhere at all and believe me I've had to gather courage for this too lol :)

[TheReverenceProject]

You’re one of the most charming people I’ve seen (and I mean that in a very impressive way that actually even translates through a screen) and the way you share your thoughts in your content is SO thoughtful. I think it resonates with and brings value to a lot of us!

[bold-tuna]

hiii leah, i want to thank you a lot <3 as a 15 years old teenage girl i have mental breakdowns very often and whenever i feel like that I think about you. How easy everything is in reality and i just need to be kinder to myself. also i shouldn't compare myself with others. Since i compare myself with even the most succesfull people in the world and I put so many expectations on me, you heal me a lot. Thank you thank you i love you so much, love<33

[Dramattcula]

Okay, holy moly, I feel the exact same way about dating and setting the bar. The “problem” with it is, for me, I got out of a 10 year relationship when I was 27. I’m 36 now and have barely dated (I had 1 serious partner for 15 months during that time), and it’s because I’m sooo picky and my standards are sooo high. BUT, I often feel like “am I falling behind? Am I missing out?”
Which leads to the child issue. I never really wanted children, but my younger brother has 2 children under 5 now, and I’m like “dang, I do want a life partner (that’s always been a yes for me) and maybe I do want a child” but, is it too late? And then I just get depressed, feeling like I’ll never have what I truly want, a wife and kid(s). Life is hard lol. But, all you can do is keep developing yourself, push forward a step at a time, TRY to not let your past turn into regrets, and TRY to not project your future as being one of lack. Love you @leahsfieldnotes and love to all you viewers <3

[annaandjudy]

I'm so glad to see you again! You are my favorite youtuber, and someone I really admire (and aspire to be), mainly because we are so similar (and I mean this in a non-weird way). Your videos, your style, and just how you speak and live are so comforting. I was severely doubting myself for the entire day today, thinking that I don't deserve the love and resources I recieve, so your video really came at the right time for me. 你的视频总是可以引起共鸣，真的很欣赏你 <3 取悦自己，人生只有一次。真心谢谢你