Stop Trying to Regulate Your Emotions!

In this episode, Teal Swan explains why trying to control or regulate emotions is detrimental and suggests a healthier approach: embracing your emotions while mastering your behavior. Discover why emotional regulation isn't the answer and what you should be focusing on instead.

Access ALL of Teal's Exclusive Content, Daily Updates, Workshop Replays & More:

👉 Who Is Teal Swan?

Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.

Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.

👉 Follow Teal Swan:
╰ / tealswanofficial
╰ / tealswanofficial

Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco

[jaynebarry]

The phrase should be “regulated action, ” instead of “ regulated emotion “ meaning extreme screaming, verbal abuse, and/or violence being not an option. The problem isn’t the feeling, it is often what people are DOING with the emotion that is the problem. Thank you for shining a light on this semantics issue; it confuses people and does damage. As always, I am so very grateful.

[Sage.Lazuli.Astrology]

This is why I love Teal. She is never afraid to challenge popular public opinion in the realm of spirituality and psychology

[moonlight]

You never realize how precious emotions are until you felt numb for once. Emotions are the literal lifeforce

[lilystarr]

Most of my emotions are a call to meet my needs

[messengerescape]

I am not afraid to feel my emotions, I am afraid to express them in a world where others do not.

[aggie]

My new favourite video! Its so needed because people are treating emotions the same they treat symptoms of an illness. There is always a reason why you feel the way you feel, doesn't matter of it doesn't make sense to others, you are not them.

[marcelooliveira]

VALIDATE, RESPECT, HONOR your internal voice. It's your greatest ally. If you don't, it will lead you astray. All negative emotions are there to protect you from further suffering. Accept them, see into them, talk to them, ask what it's trying to tell you. Go deep and negotiate how to caretake them with their best interest in mind. IT'S YOUR PARTNER AND PART OF YOU. This is also the base of self-love.

[Wormwoodification]

The narrative "You need to control your emotions!" is why I failed DBT. 3 times. The program - from my understanding as a suicidal 22 year old - seemed to paint everything I felt as bad or wrong. I therefore felt bad and wrong. It made me distrust everything I felt, as if my version of reality was always going to be distorted. It was only when I moved into Buddhism and learned acceptance did I feel free to exist with my emotions. Lovely way to put it, instead of regulating emotions, master behavior. I love that. I firmly believe in self mastery and self acceptance.

[KomalJhaOnline]

This woman has CHANGED MY LIFE ❤

Lots of love from India 🇮🇳

[MeMe-odmg]

"Behavioral mastery ", well-said!!! 👏👏👏

[heatherguess]

It's so nice to listen to someone else who understands that emotions are important and valid.

[Blueocean_aaria]

That’s so true, I no longer hold any emotion, I don’t care what people think. If I want to cry in public I’ll cry…. And so on. I won’t hit anyone when angry because I’ve never done that, I may yell but that’s it. Holding emotions can make you sick. I accept that I am an emotional person and so it is.

[matttrenchard]

“Emotional Dark Ages” - that hit home! @Teal, you make such a good point about our will and emotions. We cannot will to feel. We cannot with our will do “happy”, for example. It’s with our will that we do things and with that will we can change how we think and how we behave. Great video. ❤

[nadiawilliams]

Putting this into practice has been helping immensely with what was showing up as anxiety. It’s just a message. When we listen for the message, and do what is needed - there’s more grounding

[TrueSelfWalkAway]

I listened with resistance. I am feeling person. I don't wish to suppress my feeling. I agree I can improve regulating my reactions. So glad I listened past my closed mind.

[cptswann]

Behavioral Regulation is replacing emotional regulation in my mental dictionary. Emotional regulation is being removed from the realm of reality in my book. Thank you! I will not be able to stop myself from sharing this!

[Ouranos]

By judging the emotion we obscure the information it's bringing. It's important to learn to be receptive. Love ya Teal. 💕

[tothemoon]

I have now reached an inner calm I can't recall having experienced before in my life. I did it by feeling the emotions that were stored up in my body, with basically a somatic tracking meditation. Now I can actually feel when I get triggered and have tools to "regulate" it (resting my attention on the sensations til they disappear - a.k.a. feeling it)
It's new to me, but the calmness is amazing.

[sallyarmbrecht]

I love the way you talk about this. I have been working on this these past years and find that sometimes, when I for instance get flooded by a fear of abandonment and the physical experience is literally like being flooded, in order to do what you say - to come into choice about my behavioural response - I might need to take a moment to be by myself. Then I can care for my emotion and check in with whether it is a response to the present situation, or a trauma response learned in the past. Some breaths and holding of my little girl self and letting her feel heard (might sound crazy to some, but it is more sane than my previous actions)... and I can come back to the present situation and act in a new way. Your words help me have compassion and understanding for the long road this can be. Thank you! And best wishes to you all.

[ericv]

I think some emotions make perfect sense to feel at a certain intensity, but a panic attack when I'm safe at home in my apartment? Nope, I'm soothing the intensity of those feelings/sensations and then once the intensity isn't so high, I'll sit with it and listen to what it has to say. A crying child can't communicate what it needs, you have to soothe the child and let them settle before anything can be done. That's how I engage with my emotions.