The problem with How to Win Friends and Influence People | A Nerd's Guide to Reading

The problem with How to Win Friends and Influence People | A Nerd's Guide to Reading

Before you start hating on me for "hating" on this book. I want to say that How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of my favourite books, but people can get the wrong message from it. And in this video, I will show the issues people can have when reading this book.

[Cant_find_it]

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[FruityHachi]

haven't read the book yet but from principles I read about that are covered in the book - I do follow some of them all my life (like be genuinely interested in the other person, I'm a good listener, ask others questions about themselves and ask follow up questions, nod, smile, gave compliments, tailored conversations based on their interests) and people still didn't like me, or they liked me only as long as I didn't express any of my needs, boundaries, opinions
if I did share my hobbies, what I liked or disliked, people ignored it or they actively mocked it, and my boundaries have always been crossed, my needs have always been ignored or mocked
my first bullies were my family members and then in school got bullied because I was no longer this shell of a person hiding any kind of personality
so even when I'm the type of person who doesn't criticize for their opinions/viewpoints or likes/dislikes and try to find common ground, they don't like me nor do they extend the same treatment back
I found that other people just want to talk about themselves and have audience to listen to their monologues, and they have no concept of reciprocity nor are they capable of actual human connections (connections that aren't build on looking at your social status)

[Heiraltherd]

I guess the tricky part is being honest with yourself and set your own boundaries. While I assume the principles are the same for all, we cannot possibly all be equally sociable and we probably do not all desire the same level of sociability.

[space_]

I guess I take personal issue with the book’s point to begin with. Charisma shouldn’t be gamified or taught. It’s learned naturally through failing over and over again in normal social interactions. If you don’t know how to be charismatic, you shouldn’t be charismatic. This book just convinces people that they can change who they are like it’s a video game skin or something.

[molshire]

Wow The Charismatic Nerd. I really appreciate this video. You're voice is very beautiful You are very important to me. This is definitely a problem with how to win friends and influence people.

lol..
no but seriously. It's cringe when someone makes it obvious they read the book. I can tell immediately and I'm glad you pointed this out in your video. The industry I work in has been encouraging people to read this book and it's easy to spot whose not genuine vs who is.

[mr.gracious]

I think the visuals you put in the videos may be distracting for some viewers, specially when you put animated shows that are familiar to a wide range of people and it detracts from the message but I also do get the importance of having visuals in a video where audio does most of the job

[marky]

I tried re reading How To Influence Friends and Influence people but I found it difficult, I read it once and found that was enough. Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill I was able to finish twice. I also managed to finish The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people twice. I gave a copy of The 7 Habits Of Highly effective people to my Dad for his birthday as it was recommended to me by our doctor. Also gave a copy to my Brother for his Birthday. I see self improvement books as a guide but not something to be taken too literally.

[mohibquadri]

I also have this problem with people as a lot of them doesn't get the real message behind the book not just book but any life experience so it's all about interpretation you're absolutely right ! Bro i have a question as you know we are the average of 5 people we spend time with so if we don't have good friends physically present around us to walk on same path so how should we spend our time with ? Apart from watching content creators of YouTube..

[improvement]

Bro, to be honest, I don't have an inner circle

[mohibquadri]

Bro as Andrew tate also said success is all about speed we have to be fast in implementation of knowledge he said book reading is a slow form of acquiring knowledge & its old so what's the new ways especially for ultra achievers how & what they consume the most apart from reading books to grow themselves faster than others ..