finally telling the truth | MY STORY | my eating disorder, exercise addiction & clickbait thumbnails

Disclaimer: EXTREMELY sensitive and potentially TRIGGERING topics will be discussed in depth in this video regarding weight, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, exercise addiction, cultural stereotypes and stigma, calories, and bad body-image. All opinions are my own. THIS VIDEO MAY NOT BE FOR YOU & THAT IS OK!

Hi guys, because it’s AAPI heritage month!!! @gymshark set up a very cool AAPI awareness shoot and interview that I was so honoured to be invited to. It made me think about how being Chinese and growing up in North America has impacted my relationship with food, body image, and fitness journey. After digging into my past, I discovered a lot of resentment towards my background and heritage over the years. I wanted to share with you guys my story. And what lead me here. This is simply an honest and open chat of my life up to this point. This is a very personal story, and I hope it teaches you a little more about why I am so passionate about listening to my body, honouring my hunger, and why I do what I do.

Love you guys always.

& thank you Gymshark for giving me this opportunity to really reflect on how my culture makes me who I am and realizing how proud I am to be Chinese. Beyond grateful to be part of this family ❤️🦈

Eating disorder resources and information:

(starts MAY 26th 2022)

AAPI HERITAGE MONTH RESOURCES:

Fav products:

FAQ
How old are you? Born in 2001
What camera do I use? Canon m50
Where do you live? Ontario, Canada
How tall are you? 5’4 (163 cm)
What do you use to edit? FINALCUT PRO
Where are your workout clothes from? Gymshark
What kind of dog do you have? His name is Milo and he’s a Maltese.

Instagram: @lindasunyt

CHAPTERS
- 0:00 - Hi I’m Linda
- 1:18 - The Beginning
- 3:13 - The Foodie
- 3:55 - The Fat Girl
- 5:43 - The Identity Crisis
- 7:01 - The Blogilates Era
- 8:04 - The Eating Disorder
- 11:26 - The Recovery
- 12:42 - The Relapses
- 13:51 - The First Love
- 14:56 - The YouTuber
- 15:21 - The Burnout
- 16:03 - The Acceptance
- 18:53 - The Clickbait Thumbnails
- 19:13 - The Future Me
- 20:21 - The End

Music:

[SethuChandra]

WHEN SHE SAID " I put living on hold until I got the right body " I FELT THAT.

[juliapater]

Linda, I must be totally honest with you. Six months ago, deeply insecure and surrounded by ED, I did click on your video only because of a clickbait looking for next 'wight loss tips'. You actually did trick me into watching it, and thank God! because it changed my mindset forever and started my recovery. At that time I thought to myself (or I should rather say my ED suggested that thought).. 'No wonder she looks like that if she eats like that'. Then very slowly, video by video, I've realised how much I'm missing out. How much freedom you have. Imagine how I treated myself if I criticised you so badly in my mind. How deep I was in my ED. Perceiving wrong, not only myself, but also people around... I am really glad I have changed, thanks to you. Since very long time today I've enjoyed delicious ramen without counting, guilt and restricting afterwards. I know you make people understand. Keep doing that, spreading awareness, love, self compassion. And thank you <3

[carolinedunn]

I never had an eating disorder, but I am a cancer survivor. During my treatment I lost all my weight, all my muscle, started to hate food because of the way it made me feel due to the chemo. you helped me realize that im fully capable of gaining muscle back, and im allowed to not eat healthy all the time. When I started coming back from the hardest parts of treatment, I convinced myself that I would ruin my health if I had a cookie, if I had a bag of microwave popcorn. when in reality, none of that is true. your videos are helping me to return to that strong, happy, carb loving girl that I was before. youre helping me to remember the thrill of working out. I truly cannot thank you enough Linda. <3

[Franeigh]

The ending comment, “to all the Chinese parents who called me strong, thank you. Because I am strong & strong is beautiful”. A real tear-jerker!

Thank you for spreading your light on this platform✨✨

[maddysmith]

“words can’t even describe how hard recovery is” it’s. so. damn. hard. especially when no one has a single clue what ur going through. hearing the comments people make about what ur eating and having to remind urself they don’t know what you went through. watching everyone not eat lunch and talk and how they never eat. it’s truly the hardest thing i’ve ever experienced and each time i relapse my mental health and binging/obsession w food and calories gets worse. i wish i never experienced this.

[VanessaNagoya]

put this into words better than i could’ve imaged❤️ ONLY LOVE FOR YOUR LINDA

[JackieHe]

As a Chinese born and raised chubby child and stumbled her way into adulthood riddled with eating disorder and body dysmorphia, you represent so many of us, thank you for making this video Linda!

[sridiannnn]

I got goosebumps while heard your story. Honestly i feel that in different case. Eating disorder and body dysmorphia haunted me for the past 3 years. I really wanted to go out of it. But every time I try, I make plan, I fail it a bit, and then I ruined it all, and repeat. This got me realized that I don't listen to myself. I'll try to find a way to reach my goal which is to lived my life. The ending made me cry. Thanks for sharing this, sis❤

God, I'm crying. I've been dealing with an eating disorder for most of my life and I always find comfort in your videos. Please, keep being you 💖

[KelliMarissa]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm grateful for YouTube because we have voices like yours sharing stories like these to help young impressionable people.

[funmif]

This was such an inspiring story. The struggle is real for second generation immigrants to feel at home anywhere but I'm so glad you've been able to embrace yours

[milliscaglione]

Linda, holy fuck, I’ve cried for 22 minutes straight. You are such a light for so many people in such dark times. You have a whole galaxy that’s shining so hard inside ofyou and is teaching others to make their lil cosmos shine as well. And that’s so impressive. Thank you for the words I didn’t know I needed so deeply. Love you from Italy

[anyssaquishpi]

Honestly I found Linda due to her clickbait videos/ titles and when I clicked I was indeed met with a strong and sweet girl who explained to me why I shouldn’t restrict nor over exercise to be “pretty” and honestly thank you for that 💜

[catherinethomas]

there was a line someone said ages ago and still holds a special place in my heart it says: if everyone, every single bloody person on the face of this planet, ate the same, exercised the same, we would still look different.
And that quote still to this day gave me a whole different perspective to body image than the media could ever do. You do you Linda! x

[sarahwilliams]

i'm crying so hard, picturing sweet baby 7 year old linda not feeling good enough in today's society makes me want to give her the biggest hug. i'm so proud of you and how far you've come! love you always, linda ❤️

[CutiesZibboon]

I relate so much to the "too tired to live" feeling. I remember having a strict schedule like that too and repeating it everyday to maintain a sense of control. Same with feeling so cold all the time and wearing layers. Losing hair too. Recovery is hard. My lowest weight was 86 lbs, and now I'm back up to 105. I'm still working on it and I struggle sometimes, but I am also falling in love with life again. I look forward to meals, and I have a much healthier diet. I still have hard days and relapse slightly, but I've been pretty good about making sure I feed myself a proper amount of food and not overexercising because it's not worth ruining my own life and relationships with others.

[svthinapia]

The only Youtuber who can give me chills with her editing! Honestly im glad you mentioned the part about how hard you work on your video because WE CAN DEFINITELY TELL !! The editing and storytelling of all your videos are all soooo impressive, from the effect you use, to the font and the music EVERYTHING is always so beautiful and i truly love it

[hollydawn]

I’m 37 and I’ve always struggled with my body image, growing up in the 90s/early 2000s when heroin chic skinny was the standard, and Xtina and Britney were considered “fat” until they reach skeletal status…it’s been a long journey for me to be ok with a belly, big boobs, and thighs that touch. I just hope I can teach my daughter that she’s more than her body and not spend her whole life chasing the perfect body, and just be in love with HER perfect body. I don’t want her to not love herself until she’s 37.

[victorialim]

linda!! when you said, "no wonder i've never been truly happy with myself, because i've never let myself be." - that really resonated with me. you're a shining light!

[sophie_nass]

I cried watching this in the Subway. I‘ve been struggling with an ED for the past 10 years and just 22 minutes ago I didn‘t really want to recover (because weight gain seems like the enemy). Thank you so much ❤