Why Most Parenting Advice is Wrong | Yuko Munakata | TEDxCU

[uusghtx]

"You have influence but you don't have control." whoop that was so spot-on

[amygorman]

Children might grow up in the same house, but NEVER the same home. I have 3 children, a 12yr old, 6yr old, 10mth old. These children are unique of course, but the critical point is IM a different parent to each of them. They will by definition have different childhood experiences because they have not lived the exact same time line as each other. They have not experienced the same experiences. Parents DO have a massive influence. Be mindful. Be careful. Be loving.

[steinbao]

"appreciate how powerful the moments can be because of what they mean for you and your child right now, not because of what they mean for your child long-term, which you do not know."

[jeancorriveau]

I never read any book, articles, watched videos, about parenting. I took my children one day at the time, respecting them all the time. Never yelled at them, or call them names, or criticized or judging them. My grown-up son told me a while ago, "you were a very good father. You gave us a lot of freedom." My approach was just the basics: without freedom, there is no respect; without respect, there is no love.

[juliamacchione]

"Parenting is about loving my child today, now."---beautiful

[lynnmckenna]

Oh my- so simplistic... Let's just say that the trauma that parents inflict upon their children has a PROFOUND EFFECT.

[theu]

TLDR is not that you have no control over the outcome, it's just that your kids will be shaped by unexpected things from unexpected places and they will copy you in a myriad of ways you didn't foresee.

[AlbaMinor]

She has alot of interesting points, but I found it a little one dimensional. She didn't touch on how abusive or neglecting parents will affect their child's development. I am certain that if my father wasn't so cold, manipulative and emotionally demeaning I wouldn't struggle with depression and low self esteem today.

[yinumzhou]

I wonder how we can square her main conclusion with the fact that parents’ socioeconomic status is the most consistent and powerful predictor of children’s academic success.

[arielliu]

Thanks youtube for recommending this video for me. I’m a mother of a six-month-old 👦 I literally shed tears when she mentioned her would-have-been doomed first baby👶🏻 The biggest takeaway I get from her experience is that love my child as if tomorrow he was gonna leave...

[obcl]

Holy God this shattered me, and helps me build back with that sentiment - it's about loving him today, now. Thank you for spreading your wisdom, even when it has come from such a hard place. Thank you.

[melaniehall]

I feel like if I wasn't raised by a bipolar drunk and I was raised in a normal household I might be a different person today. I'm not saying she's wrong I'm just saying I think me and my brother could have had a better chance indifferent circumstances.

[HelenLangSA]

Its both nature & nurture. An apple seed will grow into an apple tree, that is nature, but how and under what conditions and environment it grows can influence how fruitful and strong the tree grows. Not all siblings are the same, and thats why they all turn out differently in the same environment. In the comments it looks like many parents now pat themselves on the back and will carry on just as they are thinking nothing is their fault.

[febrirahmania]

I don't expect i will cry at the end of watching this.. :(

[carissaagurkis]

This also seems to assume parents treat all their children exactly the same which is 1000% not the case

[mermaidsdragonsnl]

I don't want to "blame" my father, but the abuse I had to endure was definitely not my fault. It was all his.

[noway]

Thank you for this. Your knowledge is enlightening, reassuring, and shows great resilience.

[battlehill]

Parenting isn't hard --- you give children boundries and love. This gives children security - and that is what they need.

[miregal]

My family is Dutch and German. I'd say that both sides focus more on raising happy children rather than self-reliant children.

[jeansindhikara]

What might be added to this theory is that our job as parents is to be as aware as possible to the qualities of each of our children and to respond to them in ways that best meet their individual hereditary makeup.