The main thing that puts me off chess

Here's a few of my favourite chess moves:

Bold Lotus
Expanding Assault
Hellfire Release
Pure Stealth Blast
Bone Volley
Blossom Coil
Draconic Teardrop Spear
Extracting Thrust
Reflecting Shatter
Suffering Fist of Bronze Monkey

The Jeaney Collective:

Patreon:

Twitter:

The Jeaney Collection:

Images:

Audio:
Epidemic Sounds - Fur Elise (WoO 59) - Traditional
Epidemic Sound Effects

Hi, Al. This video is a dub of a Tumblr / Reddit meme about the main thing that puts me off of playing chess. Please show it to people who will like it. Thank you.

[JeaneyCollects]

Here's a few of my favourite chess moves:

Bold Lotus
Expanding Assault
Hellfire Release
Pure Stealth Blast
Bone Volley
Blossom Coil
Draconic Teardrop Spear
Extracting Thrust
Reflecting Shatter
Suffering Fist of Bronze Monkey

[Steir]

Playing chess online is like
-4 turns into the game
-You move a pawn
-SUDDENLY ITS 82-18 IN YOUR FAVOR
-opponent says gg and surrender
-puzzled about what just happened you look your position up
-it happens to be opening of infamous Kasparov's unavoidable cock and ball tenderizer gambit that would lead to your opponent losing either rook and queen or bishop and queen 28 moves later

[rando]

It's not common knowledge, but there is a reliable recovery strategy for when you execute an ill-timed Frenchman's Cumsock. Simply stand up, pick up your chair and firmly swing it into your opponent's face. This gambit is traditionally known as the Glaswegian Handshake, and though frowned upon in tournament play is not technically illegal.

Following this manoeuvre up with further applications of the chair to their prone body is known as the Liverpudlian Farewell, and is generally considered a sound accompaniment to a typical Glaswegian play.

[dexterwilliams]

There’s a chess opening genuinely called the Bongcloud Attack.

[atychi_]

I play the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Gambit. All your pieces are gone and you lose. Checkmate.

[figo]

Ah yes, you've played the Napoleon's shitstain manuver. Very admirable.

[Rabbit]

Chess and Yu-Gi-Oh are among the games that I love the idea of playing to death, but will never touch with a 39 and a half foot pole

[NumbNicole]

"You never get good at chess, you just play with people worse than you."

- A classmate who tried getting me into chess

[entangledatoms]

They don’t know that I have my secret move, the ticking gambit, where my enemy is forced to surrender because of the looming presence of ticking coming from the inside of my coat.

[navidryanrouf]

There are two kinds of people in this comment section:
- Those who know chess moves
- And those who don't

And no one can tell which is which

[menacingpyro]

Jokes on them when I play the “eat the other player’s pieces when they aren’t looking” gambit

[mompernl]

But remember, you NEVER want to be on the wrong side of the Throngler gambit.

[ButwhoisNoah]

“You see, you have fallen for my trap… expect the interconnection ballistic missile in around 3x10^27 turns 🌞🌞🌞🌞”

[ParkerJacobsen]

I actually hate it when their like “now after I play the back shot gambit I can change it into the Connecticut horseshoe assault and I have checkmate in 47 moves” like wtf I haven’t even moved a pawn yet

[Eaten_squid_cake]

and if they’re both pro then they’ll go like “Unfortunately, that might be 36” and play“The frenchman’s chinese burn assault” and it’s never questioned at all

[SuperDZ]

i cant get over the fact that there's a chess move called "grob's attack" and its literally the worst starting move you can do

[GearWukong]

"In the game of chess you can never let you're adversary see your pieces."

-Zapp Brannigan

[Scott.E.H]

Someone apparently made basically "chess 2" which more or less addressed this. I think all it changed was randomizing the location of the pieces, so that people would strategize instead of memorizing openings.

[shytendeakatamanoir]

I just admitted Chess is basically Dark Souls.
The fun is all about being defeated in thousands different ways for reason your feeble mind and body will never comprehend, and then watching someone wins blindfolded while playing the ukulele and doing a headstand, as easily as they breath.

[QuantumHistorian]

The French Defence and the Bulgarian variation of the Spanish are real chess openings, so this video is closer to the mark than you might think...