LOYALTY means DIFFERENT things to MEN and WOMEN: working through the misunderstanding

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In turns out that both men and women are capable of loyalty, though each group tends to remain loyal to different things. Whereas men are typically loyal to their duties, women are typically loyal to their feelings. It is what it is. Accepting this reality can help men and women have more harmonious and rewarding relationships with each other. Each other holds out a growth opportunity for the other, which I will discuss at the end of the episode.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.

#loyalty #relationship #dating

[psychacks]

In turns out that both men and women are capable of loyalty, though each group tends to remain loyal to different things. Whereas men are typically loyal to their duties, women are typically loyal to their feelings. It is what it is. Accepting this reality can help men and women have more harmonious and rewarding relationships with each other. Each other holds out a growth opportunity for the other, which I will discuss at the end of the episode.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.

#loyalty #relationship #dating

[kevalan]

Being "loyal to your feelings" is the opposite of loyalty...

[dlbutler]

"A woman's word is her bond." -- No one, ever.

[RP]

I am loyal to my husband because I am a committed Christian loyal to God. Based on that commitment, I am loyal to my husband. This commitment has been tested though as I stayed loyal to him during 2 bouts of cancer lasting 10 years. That paid off in dividends as now he is healed and appreciates my faithfulness and our love is so deep and we are reaping the benefits of staying together. Love endures all things.

[JuiceIVStat]

“You can either love women or understand them, you can’t do both.”

[DC-]

From a man's perspective: "I will love and honor you because that is my vow." For the woman: "I will love and honor you until I'm no longer attracted to you." This really changes the way I think of marriage.

[je]

"I've never heard a woman talk about her duty"
I think that sums it all up.

[jcnlaw]

Experienced divorce attorney here. I approve of this terrific video.

[shawnthegreat]

I served in the military and was married for 20-plus years. I never understood how most women look at loyalty. I knew they didn't see it the same as men. But have gone my whole life trying to make them see it the way men see loyalty. I understand that was a mistake now.

[parshuram]

Basically one should stop expecting any commitment from a woman after you stop giving her butterflies

[petergyt]

Being loyal to one's own feelings is not loyalty in any sense of the word.

[brenden]

So the burden completely falls on men to keep their woman’s attention/affection, which is impossible and exhausting. In an age of social media obsession and constantly looking over the fence, this becomes an even more impossible task for men, as women find it impossible in this era to not believe the grass is greener somewhere else.

[wisdomandy]

Bro this is so true. I often talk about how the most tricky thing with women is understanding their arousal triggers. And because arousal for women can be very very circumstantial, her desire for you can be riding on a thin line that could break from the tiniest things. Her desire for you is often based on a feeling, and if that changes, so does her arousal. Men need to understand this and I didn't understand this until around 30 years old.

[maxdebayser]

"Fighting for a country that no longer exists". Absolutely brilliant!

[superitgel]

The definition of the word loyalty matches men.

Being loyal as long as she *feels* like it literally means treacherous.

[ocleadinlady]

As a Woman…this is the BEST explanation I have ever heard IN MY LIFE!

[michaelhicks]

What's depressing is most husbands today are not attractive to their wives. He is merely a desperate last ditch attempt to get married and fulfil her biological drives. No man should allow himself to be used this way.

[lorenzmenke]

I have changed my approach to loyalty. Women want to hold us to some iron law while they are held to nothing. I will now end my agreements when she ends hers.

[yogi]

At 4:45, he's exactly describing the predicament I find myself. "The liability for men is that they can often end up in relationships where really all they have left is their duty. And they spend the remainder of their lives with someone they don't love or someone who stopped loving them long ago. In those situations, it's like the only thing these men have left is the fact that they never broke their commitment which is a pretty dry and empty victory - kind of like fighting for a country that no longer exists." I wish I had known this earlier.

[darinvee]

I truly believe that he is right in his assessment of the way women approach loyalty. It's exactly the excuse my ex-wife gave when bailing on our marriage. However, that does not excuse the fact that she and many other women said the words in the marriage ceremony. There is no verbiage that says "as long as I find you attractive". If women live by this "feelings rule" code than they should refuse to take a wedding vow. They don't get to change the meaning of words because they feel like it.