The Power of Spending Time of JESUS

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I am struggling to spend time in prayer, & because of my unhealthy upbringing I am struggling with the question as to why God doesn't always make himself manifest in a deep heartfelt way when I spend time with him. I seem to have the belief that if I don't feel God manifest in my heart when I pray then he is somehow not responding & don't care. I do want a deep relationship but I don't know how to deal with the expectation that I need to feel him close in my heart. I am quite needy & require a lot of reassurance which is quite a revelation to me as I'm writing this. As I'm pondering I realize this is why I avoid intimate relationships, because of the baggage I have to deal with as a result of unmet expectations. I'm trying to love God for who he is but at the same time I'm disappointed because he doesn't acknowledge my needy-ness. How do I break this cycle, any tips? I know the obvious is to change my belief & expectations but then I just think God is uncaring. Is it healthy to expect to feel the presence & love of God in my heart every time I come to him in prayer? & what's the difference between short prayers & lengthy time invested in Jesus? Does the bible make a distinction? I've just started asking for help to pray each time I come to him now which I should see answers. It's hard as I often feel I'm speaking to nothingness. Thanks for your video, it helped with the meaning of abiding, I just have to overcome this particular battle. God bless you all. X