sophiemarie.b - hey little girl (live) [official lyric video]

we made a new lyric video for the official release! thank you so much for watching. - soph

LYRICS
Verse 1:
I’m all choked up
I cannot talk
I’ve got a fucked up brain, fucked up thoughts
Thought I was okay
But then I guess not
Hope you know that this is your fault
Want you to feel bad
When you go to sleep
Hope you’re sad when you remember me
Hope you’re feeling bad for all you did to me
And hope you lie there in your misery

Chorus:
Hey little girl
You never believed there’s a ghost inside of you
But it’s hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You never imagined you’d get a little older
You’ll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don’t really care cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You’re falling apart
You don’t really care ‘cause they broke your heart

Verse 2:
I’m fighting for all that I have lost
It’s my time to show who's boss
I’ve waited in the dark too long
I’ve got this now, so just stay strong
I know you won’t believe
Until I’m up on stage
Make me bleed when you don't get your way
I hope you're scared when you remember me
I hope you lie there in your misery

Chorus:
Hey little girl
You never believed there’s a ghost inside of you
But it’s hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You never imagined you’d get a little older
You’ll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don’t really care cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You’re falling apart
You don’t really care cause they broke your heart

Bridge:
Been in and out of recovery
Remember when I could hardly breath
Sat in front of mirrors thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer, what I’m doing to myself
Been in and out of recovery
I remember when I could hardly breath
I sat in front of mirrors thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer what I’m doing to myself

Chorus:
Hey little girl
You never believed there’s a ghost inside of you
Hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You never imagined you’d get a little older
You’ll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don’t really care cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You’re falling apart
You don’t really care cause they broke your heart

[sophiemarie.b]

by age 8 my dad was out of my life entirely. my mom would feed me lies about him. she made me believe that he was the one who abandoned us. with no one around to protect me, thats when the abuse started.

I’m all choked up i cannot talk
I’ve got a fucked up brain, fucked up thoughts

writing songs was my therapy. I wrote the first verse and chorus while still living with her in october 2016.

Thought i was okay but then i guess not
I hope you know that this is your fault

shame, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, anger...it was piling up. something had to change. so after 8 years of being apart I messaged my dad from a secret email address. (It would have been very bad if she found out.) he got me a secret phone (i put my best friends picture on it just in case) and we began planning my escape.

Want you to feel bad when you go to sleep
Hope you’re sad when you remember me
Hope you’re feeling bad for all you did to me
And hope you lie there in your misery

the plan was to begin living with him full time by march, which felt like a long 5 months away.

Hey little girl - You never believed there’s a ghost inside of you
But it’s hidden too deep

would the hopeful, happy, ambitious woman inside of me still be there when I was finally free?

Hey little girl - You never imagined you’d get a little older
You’ll get abandoned
Hey little girl - You know smoking kills
You don’t really care cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl - You’re falling apart
You don’t really care ‘cause they broke your heart

abuse -> rebellion -> breakdown. this was the whole song at first. so I posted a clip on instagram as a failed cry for help. but less than a week later I got worried that my mom would see it and took it down.

then in dec 2016, with 3 months still to go, my mother let it rip in front of the house, for all of my neighbors to see. bruised and crying I ran to my neighbors house and called my dad “we need to do this now”. my neighbors harbored me for a week while my dad prepared to get custody, as he did later that week. I will never forget the feeling the day I saw the police serving my mother the papers. a warm rush went through my body as she screamed in disbelief.

within weeks i was on a beautiful beach vacationing with my dad for new year’s, when I found my song on YouTube, but under another person’s name. who the hell is Quinn Quinn? for those of you who don’t know, this girl on YouTube named Quinn Quinn ripped the audio from my instagram and reposted it as her song. it went kinda viral, on musically too. I was angry and helpless. who fucking does that? whatever! my only defens was to finish the song and post a video of me singing it in front of the piano. by this time, i’m free from my mother, which is why the second verse and bridge come from a whole new perspective.

I’m fighting for all that I have lost
It’s my time to show who's boss
I’ve waited in the dark too long
I’ve got this now, so just stay strong

at 16 I finally had a chance. It was time to start going after my dreams. (I still tell myself this every day.)

I know you won’t believe until I’m up on stage
Make me bleed when you don't get your way

in the mornings she would claim to not remember what she had done. “i hope you wake up and realize what a good mother i am to you" she would say. what a fuking joke.

I hope you're scared when you remember me
I hope you lie there in your misery

Peace out you miserable bitch.

Been in and out of recovery
Remember when I could hardly breathe
Sat in front of mirrors thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer, what I’m doing to myself

its been five years and i’m feeling okay. “You got this...you’re good” i like to tell myself. but sometimes it gets tough and i go back down to feeling like shit. I know i need to forgive her in order to fully move on, but its hard right now. i hope my story helps children and adults around the world recognize the dangers of child abuse and parental alienation. remember, there’s always someone you can go to for help. I just wish i contacted him sooner. - soph

[rexxdemn]

It’s hilarious that parents say we’re to young to feel pain, be tired, depressed, feel love, know our sexuality.. we are, but that just shows Society is a messed up thing, but it’s even funnier when they ask what’s wrong like they think they can fix something not many people ever feel, they say get off our phones cus they could live without them, well they didn’t have to live through raping, depression, bullying, and so much more, we’re to young for a lot of things we feel but life’s not fair in that way, if it was... every one would be in heaven but no.. we’re down here in hell where every single day we wonder if we matter, make a difference or even exist as far as I’m concerned

[ElizabethR.Turgeon]

I love how my parents tell me that “everybody has bad days” but strangers will talk with me for hours saying they understand me

[amberwells]

I’m pregnant right now at 18. I may not have been prepared for this. But my kids will never know the pain of this song or other like it. I will be nothing like my parents. My kids will be loved and brought up right. They will be listened to and understood. To my future kids. I love you. I’ll always be here for you.

[wlivvyw]

The fact I listened to this song for 4 years. And every year it hits more

[arlevcchino]

parents: ''stop being childish, i've had worse as a child''
Strangers: ''It's okay. I understand.''

[delyn]

this is the kind of sickness
that isn’t excused at school
this is the kind of sickness
that no one ever notices
this is the kind of sickness
that goes unnoticed
*until it kills*

[Idkanymore]

I love it when your parents or parent says “it’ll be fine we can help each other grow” BUT ALL THEY DO IS TEAR YOU DOWN THEY SHOUT AND SCREAM AND ASK WHY when all you do is help them

[AlyxNeely]

F= Fading slowly
I= Internally crying
N= Never felt more alone
E= Every night I cry myself to sleep

[amaliabarefoot]

I knew a boy who liked to draw,
He drew pictures that nobody saw,
He was most artistic late at night,
In the bathroom out of sight,
He kept a secret no one knew.
His drawings were different, no paper or pen,
But needed a bandage now and again.
We stood by the river under the stars,
He rolled up his sleeves and showed me his scars.
He felt embarrassed and looked down at his shoe.
Then I rolled up my sleeves and whispered "I draw too"
_I forgot who it was but its called "I draw too"

(EDIT 2: I did not write this poem/song, I just wanted to clear that up!)

Edit: Ok guys, I've seen comments saying "I draw too." I'm late, I just saw this after a year, but guys, cutting is not some beautiful art. Please listen. It is a beautiful poem, but you are a beautiful person. Don't let anyone take that knowledge away from you. I know a girl who I would consider pretty, but is downright nasty. And I mean, bullying nasty.

It put me in a dark place for a while because I was already struggling with some private things, and yes, I have also 'drawn' once or twice.

Still, please listen. You are beautiful. Go and look in the mirror right now and stare directly into your eyes, whatever shade they might be, and say to yourself; "I am beautiful."

Don't look at what you think are flaws. Because you know what? The most beautiful person I have ever seen had a disability, but their smile and eyes just made you want to go up and hug them.

You guys, throwing up your problems won't make them go away, either.
You can't chase them away with a bottle of beer or a handful of pills.
You can't cut them away from your body.
You can't starve them away.

I know you might have heard this before, but please TALK TO SOMEONE. If you just are not comfortable around your parents or think they might not understand, maybe start a chat with a teacher. ("I've been really stressed out lately, and I was wondering if I could just talk to you and ask some questions?")

Either way, please do not self-harm in any way... Physical or mental. Because for me, when I was upset, my form of 'drawing' would be to write hateful words to myself on my arm in marker. Self-hate is NOT good for you. Please talk to someone. If they don't help, don't get discouraged. It took me a while to find the right person, too. I believe in you.

If no one else does, just remember that one random stranger.

Please don't think that suicide would end the pain, either. You'd just pass it on to someone else. If you think no one cares, think about this; every single person who has met you, ever, will wonder- could I have done something about it? Or, I knew her, I could have helped. Or, I saw her crying, once. I should have done something. Even the people who have insulted you will wonder every day if they were the cause of a murder.

It is not ending your pain, it is extending it, giving it to everyone you have passed. Your pain will be in the shadows that people stand in, the ghost of your pain will haunt anyone who brushes past it.

DO NOT DRAW! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!

[mylaandzaden]

“You get little older you get abandoned” hits so close to home

[LUVRBY]

I hope you know that through the years, this has been my fight song. Through every abuse from my ex, every abuse from my mother, every day I was further indoctrinated into my family’s cult, and every self abuse I could imagine to make myself feel “normal”. It’s been the most challenging trials of my life, but every time I hear this song, I break down. It makes me feel strong again, it’s been one of my emotional lifelines. When I was 12, 13, 14, I never thought I would be around to see the next birthday. I’m so proud to say that I’ve been able to persevere and that my 17th birthday is in 71 days. You’ve genuinely changed my life with this song, with this message, with you being powerful enough to share your story. Thank you

[aiden_storm]

When I listen to this song, I like to imagine I'm talking to my younger self when life was simple and happy. Before the depression, before the confusion, before the trauma...

[stayweird]

life asked Death: Why do people hate you and love me?
Death said: Because, your a beautiful lie and i'm the painful truth.

[annoyingly_dumb]

Kid: 'depressed'
Mom: it's that stupid phone


Kid: that phone is the only thing stopping me from ending my life

[koikun]

just a few years ago I was crying like a baby to this song, still am, just like.. a more reasonable adult.. happy New Years everyone 🤍

[carmensummersett]

It’s crazy when I think of how many perspectives you could put this in. If you end up seeing this, everything will turn out okay, I promise.

[bendy]

The people who disliked clearly don't know what pure talent is.

[KurdtKobain_]

“It’s not the fact that they don’t understand, it’s that they don’t care.”

[silverfoxgaming]

Room:I'll be hear to hide you in your worst times
Bed:I will be here for you when you're tired
Pillow:I'll be here for you to catch your tears
Dream:I'll be here for you to hide you from reality
Music:I'll be here to comfort and sooth you
Mirror reflection:don't worry when you cry I'll be here for you and not laugh
Stay safe everyone 💓