Simple way to respond to difficult dementia behavior

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

In this video, I share a simple way for you to respond to your loved one when they are upset, stressed, or really emotional.

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CHECK OUT MY POPULAR PLAYLISTS

Dealing with Challenging Behaviors:

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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
Find out: "why you should lie to your loved one with dementia"
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[maryoostenbroek]

I heard your talk on doll therapy. We had a small pomeranian dog. My husband was so loving to her. Carried her around a LOT. She passed away and he really mourned for months and wanted another. In the meanwhile he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I am 88 yrs old and cannot take on one more thing.
I have gotten him a stuffed Pomeranian, same size and coloring...same as Lexy. He has taken to it like a duck to water. Thank you for your comments. Mary.

[CM-uxuq]

I just practice this with my husband. He always wants to go home in the evenings. He said I don't know where I live. I said u don't know where u live? He said no. I said I live here. U want to live here with me? It's fun here? He said sure. Then he went back to watching his TV. Then he said I think my Mom's house burned down. I said u think u r Mom's house burned down? His going home can go on for hours. I think I need more practice on the Redirecting part. Then he says I remember when me and Chris built this house. I said u do? I am Chris. I am his wife and have been for 40 years. He can go on for hours talking about stuff that doesn't make sense. Makes sense to him tho. I have learned to just listen and try to be patient. Eventually he wears down and wants to go to bed. I put him to bed and I finally get to rest.

[marycaciamasser]

This is outstanding help. I’ve started just moving through my mom’s crazy comments like being on an inner tube floating over waves at the beach in a relaxing way before they break on shore. No worries. I don’t let her words pull me under the water, I float along the top just going w the current. When I think about not getting pulled in/under by ridiculous, angry or hurtful comments, I can keep it light and we float on by most altercations. It also helps keep my mind in a happy place. It keeps me from drowning in her confused world.

[tyna]

I’ve started doing this with my dad, and it really works. I really try to see his emotions and work from there, and I don’t take his hurtful words personally anymore.
Thank you!

[BelleSouthUs]

Thanks for the great reminder. It's such a temptation of my selfishness to be driven by wanting to be right & win arguments.

It's very encouraging to know I'm not the only one & to have a non-combative response ready. This reminds me to examine & reevaluate what is no longer working too.

[micheleboing]

My father is in a rehab just diagnosed with dementia and it seems to be moving fast. I watched alot of your videos. I believe he's in severe stage. My heart 😭aches. I try to get him to open the window or sit up n talk to me but he just mumbles something and every now and then he will answer any question or say something out of the way that I'm not understanding, I'm patient with him. But saying goodbye as hard and I know that day is coming and I hope it doesn't but some God's hands and by watching your videos and everything you've taught and told us I know you've helped others as well as myself how can we tell him we love them and he always asks me why I'm crying I can't hold back the tears I'm sorry I know I should be upset in front of him but it's so hard

[SeanMcGuire]

I only wish I had a magic trick to deal with the "skilled" nursing home staff and administration. Sadly my greatest support has come from the other residents and their families. Five months into my family member's stay and I have witnessed neglect, theft, abuse but almost constantly an ineptitude.
The family purchased a cup holder for the wheelchair. In less than 24 hours it was gone and not to be found. This on top of dealing with Medicaid and sundowners and juggling work. Yeah, careblazing is fun AF.

[anthonyglass]

Dr. Natalie my grandma passed last Wednesday. I just want to send some love to you for all the help and advice you gave me. Love Dawn ❤️

[brendagodson]

My mother with early dementia and disabled sister both moved in with my husband and I 1 year ago. Prior to that, they lived together since my sisters birth. My sister was completely bed bound and rarely did anything. Since coming here, I have her up, showered, and she is much stronger. But, it was with many battles from her and my mom as well as many harsh words of attack towards me. Recently they are both rejecting progressive care because everytime my sister gets a sore muscle from using them my mother makes a case why pain is bad and we have to stop pushing (even though rehab advises otherwise). They both get combative and nasty. I finally decided pushing them wasn’t working and to be honest, it is emotionally hard on me. So I still get my sister up, and dressed but all she wants to do is watch tv and sit in same place for 12 hrs till I put her to bed. But they complain that all they do is sit there. I am at a loss

[mikeward]

Key: Move through the situation (towards a mutually acceptable solution ;^).

[JohnSmith-pxcg]

I totally understand this advice if they are in their own home but I have experienced my mums friends in care homes and things are stolen by other confused patients. I have experienced this many times because of wandering and confusion. It's a hard one I do not in anyway want to devalue your advice in anyway I am so grateful you do these you tube help bites

[dazie]

Thank you so much for your channel - I do this kind of stuff naturally with dementia but family & other caregivers don't like it - they say I'm feeding into & encouraging bad behavior - yet the dementia people not only calm down they start clinging to me so I wasn't sure if I was doing right or not = now I realize they are clinging to safety & piece of mind not picking favorites = thank you

[giselle]

Hi Dr. Natali

You have been such a blessing. I have learned so much from your awesome videos 💛

[lizeee]

My husband is always asking where people went, people who are all deceased, his mother, brother and grandmother in particular. I usually say I don’t know I’m not sure then I try to change the subject but he looks so confused it breaks my heart. Somehow I don’t feel like I’m doing the right thing. When he first started with dementia and I knew very little about it I told him his mother passed away and he looked so sad and confused I never said it again, then I discovered your channel. Thank you 🙏🏻 you are a godsend

[katm]

You are an angel! I am learning so much from your videos. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[lindagraham]

Thanks for being here for me. Would have been lost without your advice.

[HeathersJourney]

A difficult behavior we’ve run into is my stepmoms refusal to get up from her recliner she say# she can’t .. too exhausted any ideas I’ve tried to do the sorry you are exhausted (but we still need to get her up!)

[Magnetar]

You have so many amazing tips and I will try this when I get back to work on tuesday.

[rhondastrickland]

Thank you! I needed to hear this as this is a daily struggle with my Mom thinking people at the nursing home are stealing from her.

[lorarobinson]

I am very interested in the 3 videos you mentioned, however, I don't know where to find them! Would you please direct me to them? My husband & I love your videos, they have helped us tremendously! Thank you for caring about us!