Are You A Proverbs 31 Woman? | Belief It Or Not

A lot of people think that the Proverbs 31 woman is the example to live by. Is she?

Created by Trevor Poelman

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[Vaeril]

Me, voluntarily single and childfree, in my 30s, a bisexual atheist woman, reading the title and clicking through: Lmao, totally.

[mudshovel]

I'm a loud woman. the pressure to be quiet as a woman in the church is a lot. I'm glad I never changed who I was.

[sreyarthakrishna]

13:40 "Don't worry, women, we're not saying you have to do all the work in house, and be great at it. You can also do all the housework and be not very good at it! We accept all forms of relationship dynamics where women do all the work!"

[nancymeehan]

My father had this Proverbs verses read at my mother's funeral. She had died at age 74 from overwork on my father's farm. It was his dream, not her's. Plus, a mother to four daughters. She warned us not to marry a farmer and make our own money.

[anhelaanhela]

Off-yopic about pointlessly gendered things: I bought myself a foldable black umbrella. My mom tried to talk me out of it because it's a men's umbrella. I asked her: "What does that even mean? Can you only hold it with your deek?" and she was very offended.

[brose.]

I was born and raised to be a “proverbs 31” woman. Went to a popular Christian college, where, of course, this ideology is very encouraged. Met my first bf there. He convinced me I would be doing the right thing by leaving my passion for teaching and dropping out to become a “traditional wife and mother” because that is where women will feel most fulfilled in life. Blinded by naivety and love, I left college and married him. Learned very quickly how badly I messed up. Big time. It felt like it was too late for me. I was 22, married, across the country from my own family, and pregnant after 3 months of marriage. But, I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, right? Then, why was I depressed? Why did my new husband treat me this way? Is it normal to feel so alone in marriage? Am I a bad Christian for not having “joy” in my heart and for questioning my husband about his treatment towards me?
After my baby was born, I was clinging to hope he’d change for the better. I was desperately trying to glue my pieces of shattered happiness together. I also realized, me birthing his child will never change him. His “love” for me was him betting that I’d never see him for who he truly was. I married a church-going, “God-fearing” monster.

I left him two weeks after our baby was born. Currently going through a messy divorce and custody battle, but I regret absolutely nothing. My baby girl deserves a better life— a childhood without fear and submission just because they’re told to submit. I will never stop fighting to break to chains that hold so many women back. I am going back to college to get the education I deserve. I want to be a teacher, and I love working for our youth! This is my newfound purpose, and I finally feel free.

[ArrantPrac]

Honestly when the "This guy sucks, what else ya got?" part came up, I was half expecting that damn puppet...

[delurking_briefly]

if a conservative pastor thinks I'm lazy, filthy, and worthless then I'm doing it right

[maddie-mvmk]

I used to feel enraged by women who promoted this specific performance of womanhood, but as I’ve grown and found comfort in my own sense of identity, I mostly just feel sad for them. It’s such an exhausting, anxiety-inducing way to live. Never feeling good enough, feeling the moral weight of not living up to God, constantly critiquing your own actions/thoughts. It’s exhausting just listening to the women you showcased in this video speak about it, nonetheless actually believe and adhere to this narrative.

[BubbaScump]

“I think of our maidens as the washing machine”…… I laughed the hardest I have in months

[lizw]

as a woman, hearing "women want to be treated like a princess" gives me mega ick, like we're their spoiled little daughters or something .... 🥴

[not_you_i_dont_even_know_you]

I'm so glad my Grammie refused to be cowed by this verse. She was loud, she slept in, she married late after a successful career but was also the warmest woman who made us all feel abundantly loved. And her husband of fifty off years loved and partnered equally with her until he died too young. There is no one way to be a Christian woman.

Edit to add: and hopefully it goes without saying that you can also be a good woman, wife, mother without being a Christian 😂

[glilimith]

I wasn't familiar with this verse, and when I gave it a quick read, my immediate interpretation was that it was answering "what should i look for in a wife?" with "find a woman who has her own stuff going on, who has strengths that she wants to use to support her family and her community, and who you can share your burdens and responsibilities with", which is actually a fantastic answer. Obviously, though, evangelicals have to twist it into saying whatever they already believed, because that's how they always read the bible.

[dianathebird]

It’s so sad to think that these women live to comply…I grew up in a religious cult and it was so ingrained in us girls to fit into the mold and be a certain way. No individuality, no freedom of choice, and lots of shame.

[roc]

A deeply Christian member of my family and I discussed the subject of gay marriage back in the early 2000’s. The rationalization my family member made about why Gay Marriage needed to be banned was:

“Well, if you let the gays get married, what’s next? Bestiality? Ped*phila”?

That told me EVERYTHING I needed to know about how the Christian see’s the institution of marriage and a woman’s role in it. It’s not a loving bond between two equals. It’s a man’s relationship with his sex object. Oh, don’t get me wrong, they try their damndist to try and dress it up and make it sound noble as possible. But at the end of the day, that word SUBMIT is always at the end of that sentence.

[bkucenski]

Purple was literally the most expensive color dye back when Proverbs 31 was written. She was wearing expensive things because she sold expensive things and had the financial freedom to keep even some of the most expensive things she made. Poor people can't afford to keep their best things for themselves. They have to sell them.

If the book didn't include her wearing the colors of royalty, you'd think she was just a submissive housewife for her abusive husband.

[wayneu]

“Lazy.” That word strikes a nerve for me. When I was 12, my parents divorced and I did not take it well. I was a pretty good student up to that point, but from grade 6 to grade 7 my academic performance fell off a cliff. My teachers’ responses?

“Wayne is lazy.”

“Wayne has a lot on the ball, but he doesn’t use it.”

“Wayne needs to apply himself.”

[annaairahala]

10:39 "If everyone waited until they had no pain before they found love, then no one would ever find love"
I find this such an important statement, since it's something I've found to be similar even outside of the church

[CasperOliver]

When I was identified as a woman and was in the Baptist church, the treatment my mother and I received was nothing short of traumatizing... as a trans man, it means I now carry such transmasc feminine rage. I feel so bad for my mom who got shoved into boxes she could never fit into, and I'm proud of her for divorcing my dad and getting us away from it as best as she could. Leaving the church is the best thing we did for ourselves at that time in our life.

[AidanKelly-mg]

They discussed this when I was in youth group. They were not happy when I asked, "Why would I want to be a Proverbs woma?"