Redneck Santa's Early December

23 days to go! Another little story about the Redneck Santa we all know.

Redneck Santa's Early December by Nanna

It’s early December, and Santa’s in gear,
Out in his workshop with a cooler of beer.
He’s tuning up his sleigh with a tractor’s roar,
And his reindeer are chilling by the barnyard door.

The elves are stacking hay bales high,
Testing out the sleigh on a mud-slicked ride.
Mrs. Claus calls, “Don’t get too wild!”
But Redneck Santa just cracks a smile.

Redneck Santa, starting his run,
Fixing up Christmas with some country fun.
With a shotgun wreath and a four-wheeler sleigh,
He’s preppin’ for the big ol’ holiday.

He’s stringin’ up lights on the double-wide,
Using duct tape to make the trailer shine.
His elves wear flannel and cowboy boots,
Packing presents while the dogs howl and hoot.

The reindeer are swapped for his trusty hounds,
Who bark along when the banjo sounds.
He’s testing fireworks to light the way,
Because Rudolph’s got a day off today.

Redneck Santa, starting his run,
Fixing up Christmas with some country fun.
With a shotgun wreath and a four-wheeler sleigh,
He’s preppin’ for the big ol’ holiday.

Down in the holler, they’re setting the scene,
With barbecue smoke and evergreen.
The kids leave out beef jerky and beer,
Knowing ol’ Santa’s stopping here!

By the end of the day, the sleigh’s all set,
He’s got moonshine packed, and he’s placing bets.
“Who needs the North Pole when you’ve got this?”
Says Santa, as he seals it with a redneck kiss.

Redneck Santa, starting his run,
Fixing up Christmas with some country fun.
With a shotgun wreath and a four-wheeler sleigh,
He’s ready to roll for the holiday.

So raise your cup, give a country cheer,
Redneck Santa’s spreading joy this year.
From the barn to the holler, let the laughter flow,
It’s a ho-ho-ho-down, don’t you know?