It's Not Running, It's Letting Go - Kyle Cease

Kyle answers this question from Maiah, live on the Absolutely Everything Pass.

—
The Absolutely Everything Pass includes hundreds of hours of archived content and courses, plus weekly live calls where you get to work with Kyle directly, ask your questions, and be with our community.

Kyle recently hosted an incredible 2-Day Live Online Event on July 30-31st, 2022 called Expansion First. The full replay is included free for all Absolutely Everything Pass Members.

—

BOOKS:
—

[laurabarber]

We are often more compassionate towards those who abused us then we are towards ourselves.

[IamThatiAm]

Thank you for helping me to understand that emotional abuse is never acceptable! I will never allow my inner child to be subjected to situations that I already know are toxic. I'm taking my power back in 2022!

[INFPProductions]

When you had us picture our child and you said "just see this little kid trying" My child heard that and I started to sob. She's still just trying. Trying to make sense of this crazy world. Trying to fix things in her head, trying to predict the next gaslighting attempt, the next angry outburst the next group shaming. The world is reflecting my abusive childhood and probably a lot of other people's childhoods too.

[wiandewaal]

It’s amazing how simple logic it is to just leave what downs us. Yet we hold ourselves to perfect our “lessons”. I have to leave an abusive neighborhood with toxic neighbors, and yet I sit in it because I think I should be grateful for this house and ‘comfort’ my dad left me with. Yet it is also laced with the abusive past memories of what I had to endure a lot here as a kid. I’m all of that: lost, alone, anxious. Thanks for the upload 💖🌟

[stevemiller]

The difference between a pattern leaving or not, is dependent on your attitude towards the pattern .

if you're treating the pattern with loving-kindness acknowledgement and acceptance and being the parent and the space, then the pattern leaves. But if you keep resisting the pattern by any egoic self preservation mechanism, like denial.etc. It remains.

[someonesdaughter]

>>You get what you tolerate>>
Yes

[queeniecc]

The fact you said as empathic people we are so good at forgiveness and viewing from the other person's faults. We forget we were the ones who were put in those terrible situations. ❤💋❤

[stevemiller]

It's amazing that women are always so concerned with being safe

[adrienneparks]

I did this to myself for years. Now I have major PTSD and I'm in massive pain. Get out. there are endless possibilities

[tracysires]

Thank you... I have been so caught up in thinking that I am running away from my responsibility in things by letting them go.... Thank you for helping me see my little girl self and to take care of her now.

[tiddlywinks]

I was liking this video in the first 30 seconds! lol

It makes me think of deciding to work in family law after nearly 20 years of being locked in it through my personal family drama with a high conflict ex. So much trauma was endured during those years. I knew a lot from my experiences, but working in family law afterwards kept me entrenched in the abuse that I endured in my personal family situation. I thought that I would be able to help others avoid the same drama, but really it just dragged my healing process on and on and on and on because I was constantly triggered. I eventually knew I needed to get out of it, but always thought that I needed to use my past experiences to help others. You know that saying that goes something like: "what you endure is what you are here to help others with"?? Yeah, well NO! I actually don't need to do that. One of the other reasons I stayed was because of how much time I had invested in family law (8 years) and increasing my salary. I'm not a stranger to starting over - I've done it many times before... but this time I wanted to "make it work" and finally see myself climbing that ladder like "normal" people! LOL Well... I don't actually need to do that either! Six weeks ago I finally left family law and the legal field altogether (I actually hate conflict!) and I am so grateful to myself for taking advantage of the opportunity to do so. I'm happily in the process of yet another career change. :)

[dlw]

No matter what job you hold, if abuse occurs, you don't have to take it. Have the offender stop their tirade and tell them that in interaction of abuse is not OK, warning them that you will stop the interaction.
We have to get out of the mind set that any kind of abuse is OK, its NOT. BE COURTEOUS AND RESPECTFUL YET FIRM ON WHAT YOU WILL ACCEPT.

[christinaward]

You're right. Be present with the pattern... without an abuser It takes a long time to allow the enabling behavior to pass because people don't know what they are experiencing. The environment you have yourself in, Kyle to be safe and expanded and free to find this language is important. I think abusers master manipulation and evoke difficult feelings of shock, aww, and guilt leaving other people in a perpetual cycle of confusion and dependance. ( it is weird AF). You are helping release those patterns of confusion, dependance, and manipulation. I appreciate you.

[terriebrewer]

Left my shitty job w shitty people in a shitty town & moved way down south and found an UNshitty life! Getting out of the cesspool & taking the shower to rid myself of all the shit, I have found the ME I have been looking for, and damn, I fucking love her!❤️💪🏼😎

[EnlightenedCarnivore]

I did a CBT course called Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder by a Dr. TAR (Thomas A. Richards) and it is awesome, all of it!, but one of the most important sessions for me were the ones that dealt with Letting Go of the Negative Past. (And not beating myself up). Yes, letting go can be a tough one to learn how to do (it can also be easy) but it's well worth learning. Remember this, "My life is literally only ever right Now and the future is what I do next in this very moment". So drop the old shit off any time and carry only on the good stuff. Do it whenever you need to. Do it so often it becomes your normal state of what I call Existdance. 🙂

[debbietodd]

Thank you for this Kyle. I freeze and can't think when sidelined by someone attacking me verbally, only after can I draft a novel of what I should have said. I am getting much better at being non-reactive when I am PREPARED for a confrontation but the unexpected is still a challenge. I AM a frightened 5 year old and when I imagine her she is alone all the time to deal with the world without any training.🥺 Afraid of anything new and unexpected, routine is my comfort.

[eleverett]

I'm greatful for this video and seeing the things I've chose to overcome and also ignore. Still overcoming with much suffering and grief, although in the inside, I'm smiling looking forward to knowing I'm aware and observing, with what needs to be done. Resolution not repetition.. trauma is not my life and nor is the treatment of what's not serving peace and joy. God help those of us who have a hard time to find an outlet! The physical affects me more than the emotional, mental or spiritual atm.. Thank you Kyle for your all the help you have given and sharing!

[CM-sfbc]

So much sense... ironically the people on the other side of this doesn't even recognize the abuse they are projecting.

[MandySky]

"I don't want to feed my trauma anymore" - exactly what I plan to say to my live in partner who broke up with me over the weekend and has completely taken his mask off to not give a shit to lie, drink till he's sloppy drunk around my kids, spending the weekend away not knowing where. I was thinking about how this similar to my last relationship right at the end where his mask came off and behind it was a hall of mirrors, my patterns got my here I thought. Then I came on YouTube to listen to music and your video was the first thing 🫂❤ first time in days where I felt a sense of peace watching your video. Thank you 🙏

[kika-geqr]

Thank you Kyle. You truly are the gift that keeps giving.💗