Criticom - The Worst Fighting Game

[chibisven]

Watching Matt struggle to win a fight and remembering that I played all the way through and unlocked everyone's ending and "victory code" makes me wonder if that's why I'm in therapy today.

[NobodyPrototype]

Matt, you're just bad at Criticom. Every morning I wake up and palm slam a CD-ROM into the Sony Playstation. It's Criticom and right then and there I start doing the moves alongside the main character, Sonork Nezom. I do every move and I do every move hard. Making whooshing sounds when I slam down some Zerai bastards or even when I mess up a technique. Few can say they recovered The Relic. I can. I say it and I say it outloud everyday to people in my Zoom class and all they do is prove that people in Zoom class can still be immature jerks. 2 hours including wind down every morning.

[KnightLineArtYT]

The fact that both life bars move in the same direction instead of towards the clock or away from each other bothers me more than it should.

[rimthestew]

this game makes the AI feels like he's your older brother and just gave you the second controller and he bullied you the whole game.

[SuperLlama]

Demonica's backstory: "Pfft, I don' fuckin' know. We have five months to shit this out you think we have time for a backstory?"

[meatshield_]

Demonica's cutscene made me think that she was an oblivion character that they tried to make sexy, but no matter what they tried, it didn't work. So they just said "fuck it, give her the smallest metal bikini we can". In game, she looks like someone tried to make an OSRS character sexy.

[algi]

Just based on the characters when you said it was a comic book license, I instantly knew it's Spawn. Demonica has to be Angela, SID is Overtkill, Gorm is Violator…

[adultmoshifan]

Believe it or not, in the final issue of the UK’s Sega Saturn Magazine, one mail order game company was advertising that they were selling US import games, and offered a free copy of Criticom with every order! They must’ve needed to get rid of those games ASAP!

[LtheOriginal]

I always love it when Matt makes references to Max. Since it's generally at Max's expense.

[Blackhawk]

You are the reason Max played this. That was fucking hilarious

[batmanfan]

Max's "GET UP!" needs to be an alarm tone

[AkumaTh]

The title sounds like someone's youtube show criticizing Capcom.

[cjhedrick]

Delora: *Holds up her sword in triumph*

[antonevans]

The characters mutated or got cybernetic enhancements each time you beat the game with them. The Demonica you remember was probably the finished product. I beat that game with every character. 14-year old me was invested.

[montague]

Who else wants to see Matt and Max go head-to-head in a 2-player Criticom deathmatch?

[Haysey_Draws]

"What a Waffle of a man"

...OK i'm stealing this!

[areoants]

>weird demon lady apparates from nowhere
>smacks you once
>dances around you for a minute and a half
>declares victory

[hitmane]

Holy Shit. This was one of the first games I received when I got my PlayStation. My parents didn't want to spend any more money on it so they went with what was on sale and this was it.

[jackburton]

I was unfortunate enough to have purchased this back in the day (I was in my 20s). The only character I remember being able to play somewhat successfully was Demonica. She had this threefold attack (like giant fireballs) and that's how I beat the game, by spamming the move over and over.

It was terrible. Ironically, I loved the soundtrack lol

[RetroRanter]

A game so bad it spawned a whole series from Matt 😂💜