The Problem with Treating a Dog Like a Pet | Kim Brophey | TEDxUNCAsheville

[robinwiley]

My parents were both farm people and I was taught by them that animals must be given time to approach us not the other way around. In my 65yrs of life have never been bitten by a dog. I also work with children on the autism spectrum. I find the respect that I was taught as a child for animals is till the same respect for all living beings.

[donnale]

My dog and I went to puppy school, he loved learning. The first thing our trainer taught us was respect, and the importance of dignity. Never once was there pushing, pulling or degrading in any way. My dog and I learned to communicate with each other, a mutual respect. He lived for 17 happy years, and because we learned how to communicate, I was able to keep him safe.

[lucyeron]

I have worked with animals for much of my life, I have been told "you talk dog". No, "I listen dog". I have raised puppies for the blind, the best I could do for those puppies is to permit them to become self-confident and self-disciplined. You can't force that on a dog, you have to permit them to get to that point. Each breed and each personality gets to that point in their own way. I have relied for years on a Service Dog to keep me alive. I always put her well being first, just as she has always put me first. People who have "pets" ask me how much do I charge to "train" their dog; my answer is nothing, but I do charge to train the person. You see the dog will do well in my home, but once they go back to the home they came from, many times they go back to what they learned from the people in that household. Most people don't even think about the fact that different breeds have different needs and personalities. Also, the same breed also have different personalities, like with humans, no two people or dogs have the same personality or needs. So if you want to be a good companion to your dog, please listen to them, they will tell you what they need and want.

[stllarfae]

I've thought this for most of my life. My family has had several dogs, and I would watch my little sister pick them up and hug them and hold them against their will. They'd be squirming and struggling to get away and sometimes even start growling because they didn't want to be held down, even if my sister was "just trying to love them". And then I would watch as my parents got angry at the dog for growling or snapping.
Animals have feelings, thoughts, wants, and make choices just like we do. Yes, there are differences in the way their brains work but that doesn't make their feelings are any less valid or less deserving of respect.

[lucibjlb]

Kim Brophey is exactly correct. I'm a dog walker / pet sitter. I've also owned dogs my entire life. Dogs are pretty intelligent. In fact, they have the intelligence of a 3 or 4-year-old child. Dogs (like humans) must be treated with respect. Whenever I meet a new dog, I wait for him or her to approach me first. I've also learned that "closeness" takes time. It takes them time to get to know me, like it takes time for me to get to know them. It's based on trust and knowledge. I really wish people understood that dogs are very much like people. They have personalities, opinions, feelings...the list goes on and on. I'm glad she gave this talk. It's a long time coming.

[v.a.]

Totally agree! The only "training" I did with my dogs was when they where puppies, crate training. Once they learned you don't pee or poop inside the house the rest was a spontaneous development. I spend plenty of time talking to them as if they where children. I use simple, concise and most important consistent words and phrases for specific actions or things.
For example, "Let's go night night" they get up and go to their beds...automatically without fuss or complaint. "Who wants to go for a ride?" and they drop whatever they are doing and wait by the door to get in the convertible. "Hey get off the couch" (in a normal tone) and they get off the couch. "Who wants a treat?!" and they shift to overdrive to come and get it as fast as possible. When they are in the yard, it's a big yard, I whistle the same every time and they make their way to the kitchen door and so on and so on. Dogs are so much smarter than people give them credit for....they are definitely smarter than some/most people! Their range of emotions is the same as humans. They can be happy, angry, SAD!, scared, confused, elated and so much more. One day I was in the driveway fixing my mower, I had my tools out and hands under the hood while Chuck and Rudy sat and watched me the whole time. A screwdriver fell and began to roll away and before I could walk over to pick it up Chuck stood up, walked a few steps and brought it back to me. I did not have to command him to do anything but he knew that I was busy and would appreciate his help. That day, not long ago, I realized the connection with my dogs is as profound and complex as any relationship I have with humans. That is why it's so important treat them with love and consideration because that is how they will treat you.

[arthurstrout]

I've shared most of my 65 years with dogs and cats. Nothing compares to the mindful application of mutual respect with our four legged friends. The simple act of allowing your "pets" to be themselves can provide ways to share the best of quality times. Your four legged friend will love you for it. - Learn to love them for who they are. Your respect will be appreciated and returned. Not so complicated when we give it some thought.

[TrumanGN]

This leaves no doubt that what I have long believed is true: Most people should not own dogs because they do not truly respect dogs.

[aaronnelson]

I'd like to examine the stranger scenario at 5:00. I see people do nearly the same thing to infants and toddlers. Generally the person is a friend of the parents, but to the child, he/she is a complete stranger. "Oh my gosh! Look at you! So adorable! Aww, is somebody shy? Come here!" Some kids like the attention; others do not. I'm not saying this is good or bad. I just want to point out the similarity.

[DebiRose]

Bravo! In his youth my husband learnt to ‘break’ horses. As adults, when we obtained an ‘unbroken’ pony for our daughter, we ‘gentled’ him. We must learn to evolve the education of all of our animals - it also wouldn’t hurt to do the same for our human children too.

[myopinionwhileIcanstillhaveone]

The animals on factory farms and in slaughterhouses feel too. They are scared and mutilated. We should respect all animals.

[quantumcrash]

My dog gave me so many unbelievable gifts. Taught me how to be a better human. He was my child, teacher, and best friend. We humans are discovering the richness and depth of our relationship with we're making progress (just not as fast as I'd like!).

[mkl]

Very well said, I hope the right people watch this and make the necessary changes.

[mitchryder]

My dog is abusing me. He constantly wants me to go get him food and refuses to clean anything. Walks right in the house and don't even wipe his feet. Always wants to go in the car but never offers to pay for gas or anything. The list goes on

[laughingpaws]

BRILLIANT!
I've been preaching this for years and am SO glad to hear it come from someone else. We do not own other beings, we share our lives with them, as equals. Thank you for this talk!

[taticaramico]

Omg.... best ted talk ever! THANK YOU! My dogs are my babies, they are part of me and are my family. They are not pets. We talk (I know what they want and need by looking into their eyes). They have different personalities and different needs. I cater to each of them the best I can, because I own my life to them! Dogs are angels that are in our lives to make us understand love and compassion.

[yarnpower]

Really good point that most dogs do not want physical touch from strangers, much like most people.

[calexj]

When my dog was a puppy, what training was necessary was easily accomplished with positive reinforcement and consistency. My dog has become what Ms. Brophey suggested: The dog who wants to meet everybody and who believes everyone who comes to the house is there to see/play with him. I don't mind. What has amazed me is what we (he and I) have learned since the formal training ended. There is so much more he knows now, and so much more he and I communicate to each other without even trying. That my dog knows the names of the rooms in my house, that telling him where I'm going is the difference between him being asleep on a chair or waiting anxiously by the door when I return, that I can simply say "show me" when he obviously has something in mind, and he will find something to take me to, even if it wasn't what he originally had in mind -- all of this blows me away. I never feel I'm good enough for him, but I love him. And he has learned to trust me, even if he shows me at first that he would rather not...take the bath, get the allergy shot, have me put gooky stuff in his ear. And I have no desire, reason or would ever force anything on him. In fact, I make promises to him in words that he may or may not understand, and I always keep them. I tell him I love him every day. I say nite nite to him every night. I want to feel like he knows he can count on me; that he is safe here. I've learned so much from him, and his willingness -- his wanting -- to work and play and just be with me feels like an honor every day.

[bethanybouley]

everyone used to ask me how i trained my first dog Muttlee, and i would always say " i dont tell him what to do, i ask him like an equal" we never even needed words, almost all of my communications with him was body language. this woman is saying what ive been thinking ever since i had first lived with a dog, she is my newest hero.

[bethhelminiak]

Love! My dogs and cats aren't "pets, " they are my babies. I spend a lot of time making sure that they are happy, and still giving them tasks and expectations