Bianca Phipps - Almosts

Bianca Phipps, performing at CUPSI 2014 in Boulder, CO.

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Button Poetry is committed to developing a coherent and effective system of production, distribution, promotion and fundraising for spoken word and performance poetry.

We seek to showcase the power and diversity of voices in our community. By encouraging and broadcasting the best and brightest performance poets of today, we hope to broaden poetry's audience, to expand its reach and develop a greater level of cultural appreciation for the art form.

[joannahp]

I always wondered why she ended the poem the way she did. And then I realized, "Te Amo, Daniel. Sleep well" is made up of 5 words. Those are her 5 farewell words to him.

[Ravengal]

'Words can only help you if you speak them.' 

[atomicate]

my heart dropped when she said "you never told me you were dying" and the fact that this is about a personal experience makes it more heartbreaking.

[princesscoco]

"Malignant is the cause of almost. Because you were in the brink of something beautiful...but you fell too far. I am so sorry..I wasn't there to catch you." I'm not crying.

[sylviamarie]

"And I am sorry, but I only ALMOST found it." is where I absolutely lost it.

[brandoncella]

"Almost tells failed potential" The power beneath these words are unreal. 

[ariamortenson]

I have never felt so at ease as the day you called me "precocious." I
have never feared big words, only those who refuse to use them, and the
syllables rolled off your tongue like honey. I was hooked. Language
became our vein of communication, and I know everyone uses language to
communicate, but ours was different, as if between the letters and the
syllables there was a secret message only we could decipher. My days
were filled with the sound of your voice, and your nights were littered
with the loops of my handwriting. We exchanged out favourite words; mine
being "illuminated" and yours being "caddywhompus."; and our least
favourites, mine "moist, " and yours "almost." And when I asked you why,
you said that almost held failed potential. That it represented our
ability to be just not good enough. That we had come to the brink of
something beautiful, but fell short so many times, we crafted a word for
it. But even we, with our supposed mastery of the English language,
were not immune to the shortcomings of our vocabularies. Words can only
help you if you speak them. I never told you that I loved you. You never
told me you were dying. Five easy words that would have shattered our
worlds: "I love you, I think." "I have a brain tumour." You know, still,
to this day, I don't know all the details, because medical jargon has
never fit right in my mouth, and even now, five years later, it still
feels like an invasion of your privacy, but I do know I have pored over
our conversations, searching for the secret message you certainly tried
to send me, and I'm sorry, but I only ALMOST found it. Salt water is not
good for paper and my tears warped your words. After some serious
consideration, I decided to change my least favourite words, because
while "moist" is gross, "malignant" is malicious. Malignant is
uncontrollable, means a phone call and the phrase, "He didn't wake up."
Malignant is messy, and unfair, and a thief. Malignant means I never
got to say goodbye. Malignant is the cause of almost. Because you WERE
on the brink of something beautiful, but you couldn't quite reach it,
and you fell too far.  I am so sorry I wasn't there to catch you. I hope
your heaven is a library, and I hope it is void of almosts. Te amo,
Daniel. Sleep well.

[kyleiq]

i got chills when she said "you never told me you were dying"

[bethanybrazier]

This poem is so underrated, I am so in love with the way Bianca presents this.
My absolute favourite line is "salt water is not good for paper and my tears warped your words" 😍

[morelikeomega]

This is my favorite slam poem. I come back to this poem every time I need inspiration. I'm performing for the first time today and this is my piece. Thank you Bianca for creating work as wonderful as this.

[TheKaseyfelker]

Nine years later and I am still in awe of this ❤️

[fedelynbeltran]

I have never felt so at ease as the day you called me precocious. I have never feared big words, only those that refuse to use them and the syllables rolled off your tongue like honey. I was hooked. Language became our vein of communication, and I know that everybody uses language to communicate, but ours was different. As if in between the letters and the syllables there is a secret message only we could decipher. My days were filled with the sound of your voice and your nights were littered with the loops of my handwriting. 

We exchanged our favorite words. Mine being illuminated and yours being catawampus. And our least favorites; mine: moist and yours: almost. And when I asked you why, you said it was because almost held failed potential; that it represented our ability to be just not good enough; that we had come to the brink of something beautiful but fell short so many times we crafted a word for it.

But even we, with our supposed mastery of the English language were not immune to the shortcomings of our vocabularies. Words can only help you if you speak them. I never told you that I loved you. You never told me that you were dying. Five easy words that would've shattered our worlds: I love you I think, I have a brain tumor.

You know, still to this day I don't know all the details because medical jargons never fit right in my mouth and even now, five years later it feels like an invasion of your privacy. But I do know, I have pored over our conversations, searching for the secret message you certainly tried to send me and I am sorry. But I only almost found it. Salt water is not good for paper and my tears warped your words.

After some serious consideration, I've decided to change my least favorite word. Because while moist is gross, malignant is malicious. Malignant is uncontrollable, means a phone call in a phrase that he didn't wake up. Malignant is messy and unfair and a thief. Malignant means I never got to say goodbye, malignant is the cause of almost. Because you were on the brink of something beautiful but you couldn't quite reach it and you fell too far. I am so sorry I wasn't there to catch you.

I hope your heaven is a library and I hope it is void of almosts. Te amo, Daniel. Sleep well.

[Jamie-yown]

There are only a few slam poems that I can listen to over and over again and still get chills every single time, but this is one of them. The way she speaks is beautiful and she's honestly one of my favorite slam poets even though there's only a few that I can find.

[crnybread]

When she says "malignant is malicious", gives me goose gimps every time. So good!

[shylight]

I sent this to my boyfriend, and he said in response, "I love this, it tells a story of how an i love you is never too early, and always too late."

[dreamer_of_hiraeth]

I come back to this poem regularly, and after all this time it still strikes my heart and makes me cry. Your words are so very beautiful, even if the experience you speak of broke your heart. I hope you are doing well, Bianca.

[HungwanaBossCollective]

I have always loved your poem it really made my life at the time more full. I loved the way you make a person really feel connected to you. You are a beautiful.

[bpxbp]

So touching. I'm in tears watching this.

[heudithmolina]

"I am so sorry I wasn't there to catch you."

[FookinMadFerIt]

God, I try not to cry every time I watch this but I always lose it at "words can only help you if you speak them. I never told you that I loved you. You never told me you were dying." :(