The Hidden Truth About Dysfunctional Relationships - Teal Swan -

Completion Process Book



Referenced Videos



I Can Have Me and I Can Have You Too



How to Heal the Emotional Body



Meet your Needs



How to Develop Healthy Boundaries



How to Connect with Someone



In this episode, Teal decodes dysfunctional relationships and explains what do to solve the patterns that cause them.

Formula to break the dysfunctional pattern
1.We have to realize and recognize the pattern of dysfunction in our relationships
2.We have to become completely aware of what needs we are to trying to have met through this dysfunctional pattern
3.Instead of meeting that need the way you normally would, through destruction find a way to meet that need in a different way that is constructive

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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is one of The Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the world. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

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Meditations, Books, Merchandise & Frequency Paintings:

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Beginning Song:
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel

Please note that I do not respond to posts from this site. Please promptly reach out to a mental health practitioner near you discuss treatment options. My teachings on the subject of suicide are meant to supplement your treatment with a mental health practitioner and should not be in lieu of such treatment. The information contained on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for such professional medical or mental health advice. Always seek the advice of your own licensed and qualified medical and mental health professionals. The information provided in this site and in my videos should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of any mental health condition. A licensed physician, psychologist, and/or mental health provider should be consulted for a diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical and mental health conditions. Please immediately call your physician, mental health professional or 911 for all emergencies.

[tle]

I have to say, that after spending just two weeks listening to Teal's messages and working on my shadow self and fragmented pieces of my soul, I am doing well and feeling so much better. What helped me the most was to realize that the shadow part of me, as well as the devil, was not really an evil entity. Because I believed otherwise, I rejected a part of myself and labeled myself as evil. Teal Swan has shown me that the traditional views of evil versus good have been false, religious propaganda. To all who view her videos, please do not accept the negative comments made about her by so-called spiritual leaders. They are wrong. They put her down because her messages bring up their own fears and devils. Thank you so much, Teal Swan. You are an amazing young woman with a special gift to offer to the world. Blessings of healing to you dear, precious one. Many of us love you and appreciate you.

[skaiillman]

Thank you, Teal. I know that your haters upset you. But there is so many people that adore you and need your teachings in order to grow. Thank you for healing the world. We love you. :)

[randyandretti]

Finally! Validating there are some needs that can't be met alone. Duh! I've been getting gas lit by spiritual/psychosocial teachings on this for the last 3 years. Done arguing my point which Teal so eloquently explained.

[inthenebula]

I wish I had found this years ago. I had developmental trauma and could not function well into my 20's. I went to therapy, and the therapists would give up; I tried different methods; nothing worked, and in fact it made everything 10x worse until I was unable to maintain any relationships. I reached a breaking point and said, "Either I get better, or I kill myself, because I can't live like this." Two years since, I'm so much better but have a long way to go. And I realized half the problem is exactly what's highlighted here: I was missing so many concepts and interpersonal skills, and was mentally and emotionally so delayed, that most of what the mental health profession recommends was pointless because they were tools I didn't know how use, and contained concepts I couldn't conceive. I've learned a lot of those skills and concepts on my own, but it still saddens me that therapists and psychologists, who are supposed to treat these things, just threw up their hands and gave up--and do the same to many others.

[Myrjam]

it is unbelievable how great spiritual and psychological knowledge you have:-))

[luludunnejesus]

i been studying spirituality for 9 years, and it all has helped me grow, but coming from a very dysfunctional family and so much rejection and loss, something always felt missing for me to heal fully, she is spot on with her shadow work, were most people who work towards enlightenment teaches us to always be positive but how can this be if there is so much shadow work that is subconsciously unhealed, people have negative things to say about Teal, but i dont think every teacher is for you, their is so many ways to becoming enlightened and not every spiritual teacher is going to match your needs, thats why it is important to get in touch with your inner self so you can understand if the teacher resonates with your spiritual journey..

[GrahamMilkdrop]

Nicely put. There's so much resistance to connection these days that any emotional reaction to interaction is labelled co-dependent. Having needs for intimacy, trust, stability and consistency is what makes us social beings... And if we weren't intended to be social at this stage in our development, then why waste time being a human being...? It makes no sense to deny ourselves a fully interactive human experience while we are human! Our interactions have the power to heal and the power to harm. To close off from allowing interactions to influence us is not the destination we are aiming for when we embark on a journey of spiritual investigation. To insist it is, is harmful. To withdraw connection, intimacy and stability as punishment or in the name of spiritual progress is severely destructive. Not just to individuals but to the potential for functionally nourishing communities. If people were trees... our lives should be forests, not an endless sea of stumps of severed connections we cut off from to remain independent. Each one of those had potential branches that we can never explore because we were sure we'd never need them...
Even unhealthy relationships have potential to teach us something and come from a desire for healing, and there's an important variation on that theme which I think is worth a mention... That is when the need that is not being met is for faith and trust in that what you get is sometimes what you need regardless of what you think anyone else might think... and so rather than an unhealthy relationship,  it is not unhealthy apart from the bit that is you and your desire to be unchanged and remain the same and appear independent and in control,  by,  pushing it away and (in a strange twist of logic, ) doing exactly what you are told is 'right' by the consensus of the aspirational spiritual cliques you look up to, who say "separate and be unchanged" rather than "connect and be nourished" which would mean allowing your actual individual self to receive what it needs and letting your experience guide you because you have  faith in it... __/\__ Namaste!

[pricyllarangel]

I feel immensely loved by watching your videos. I feel like the fact that someone is taking the time by making videos to help others even if its a paid job but the fact that you chose to devote yourself to this and not a corporate mundane job. It feels extremely loving. I can pretend that you are my close friend and you made these videos specifically for me because you love me and I feel immensely grateful. If  you change the perspective of "oh some youtuber making videos online as a job" and feel a sort of entitlement, you begin to see that love is out there. You don't have to be my close friend for me to feel loved by you and the universe. I hope I made sense.

[bigfletch]

Without such experiences, we wouldnt recognise the difference between self realization and "entanglement"...so the first step is to be grateful for everything you have experiences, and to the people who presented them to you. They "knew not what they were doing" to provide you with essential stepping stones.

[ashitaka]

9:20 there is no desire for the self to meet those needs.
Spot on.

I still feel the desire for someone else to come and rescue me. To lift me up out of my misery. And to love me unconditionally.

I guess I never had that when I should've gotten it.

[Ellenweiss]

Go Teal! It's so good to hear someone address the truth: We NEED each other. We are social beings....integrally connected. Also....just because you look like an adult doesn't practically mean you are one. Let's truly help each other to grow up. We can nurture each other and become healthy and happy. And we can also be autonomous when that is appropriate in accordance with our individual needs. Balance can be attained!

[sevenslotgrillful]

There's a great qualitative measure to the content she presents time and time again. And over a span, the Teal Swan self-help videos ultimately train the mind to see reflection of the self in others as a default action in one's life-style. This I believe is the very foundation to commence the healing process from the pain-body. Just brilliant how influential this woman can be on a tribe of individuals .

[TheKSalahuddin]

Simply "Thank You." You have helped me in so many ways that it has become Infinite. What is coming thru You is "God-Sent." Thank You for following Your path because had you not, so many people would not have received this "Beautiful Gift."

[EllaesRuby]

This brought me to tears. I had a traumatic experience at 3 months old and I’ve always known it’s affected me in a subconscious way. It makes perfect sense. This is me.

[pepegapapaya]

I saw a swan today! and then I was like, let's see what teal swan has to say for me... and of course PERFECT synchronicity

[MarieBenard]

Thanks for the video, Teal. I've been exploring what Dr. Stan Tatkin calls "secure functioning" relationships in a "couple bubble." My life has progressed immensely because of being in a secure relationship, which took work and a LOT of boundary setting to create, as we both came in with our own wounds. It's been so worth it, though. Overall, we're both happier and more productive and independent / interdependent than ever before. Thanks also for the reminder to let ourselves off the hook for not knowing what secure relationships look like if we've never been exposed to one! Lots of love

[Pincer]

I wonder, how can anyone learn a functional relationship, if all of society is focused on having, getting and accumulating superficial things (material) or behavioral attributes, rather than personal depth and development. Even our education is tailormade to become good employees and consumers, rather than autonomous human beings. And when relationships are more and more being treated as disposable, when not completely functional? On the same note: trauma is being perceived more and more as something that can be healed, only if the person suffering it wants it badly enough. Succes is being regarded as a choice. Doesn't that take some form of empowerment and autonomy in the first place? If all responsibility is with the individual itself, then what about the powerless? He/she who is not equipped with the faculties (or the financial means) to heal him/herself?

[tamaralynn]

Seriously, I hear this loud and clear. I’ve been trying to learn how to take care of myself for 5 years now after 20 yrs of a dysfunctional marriage…. And traumatic childhood all around. I’m 51 now. I feel like I’m failing miserably yet I’m living independently. I can’t let go of these ruminating thoughts of fantasies more or less. I feel like reaching for something, literally, every 30 mins but I have no idea what I want. I hyper focus on drawing to kill time… you can’t even imagine the thousands of drawings, paintings, and sculptures I’ve created. Im happy, healthier than I’ve ever been, I have absolutely NOTHING in my way……. Yet, I’m stuck here…. Wondering why I haven’t figured out which way to go. It’s a very odd place to be, mentally speaking.

[brightwithspirit]

wow, major connection with this. this is my favorite video of yours. thank you.

[inthenebula]

I've watched this a few times and it's one of my favourites. I've had a long history of dysfunctional relationships and I think it relates to this early trauma--apparently I never cried as a baby so I think my mother (who had two other young children) neglected me, albeit unintentionally. I find this video affirming and soothing because so often people with these issues face a lot of stigma when it's not our fault we ended up this way. You're so understanding and nonjudgemental about it, and I appreciate the reminder it's nothing more than a developmental delay.