do you want to be loved or do you want to be yourself?

This video was sponsored by Brilliant

Songs used are from Housecat’s ‘A Quiet Night’

SOURCES
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
by Gabor Maté MD, Daniel Maté (Editor)

[asher]

I love how each Sisyphus video either gives me a reality check or an existential crisis

[nick]

"it is sobering to realize that many of the personality traits we have come to believe are us, and perhaps even take pride in, actually bear the scars of where we lost connection to ourselves, way back when"

[maddieb.]

If you want to be accepted as yourself you need to accept others as themselves. Make the people around you feel like they can be imperfect and fail and you won’t be judgmental. The change starts with each of us

[deniseespinoza]

I stopped opening up to people because a lot are entitled, manipulative, and deceitful. Every time I express myself I end up being judged, or misunderstood. Not everyone has the depth or patience to understand you.

[abrahamben-dayan]

My solution to this tension has always been to be a person that I MYSELF can respect. To BE a genuinely good person mainly for the sake of my own sanity and self esteem. It's a wierd sort of self-serving altruism. To hold myself accountable & forgive myself when I fall short. It is also to take pride in my efforts and my intentions rather than the results.

[shitmypants]

As someone with social anxiety this is all I pondered my whole life. I can't be myself because I hate myself lol

[sound_soup]

> mask yourself
> meet soneone you like
> remove the mask
> see how the person reacts
> if they like your true self, attempt relationship
> realise that both of you don't like every aspect of each other
> Communicate
> Compromise
> Reflect
> Be happy while being yourself✅

[captaint]

“Those who are hardest to love need it the most.” -Socrates

[edfmed]

What i learned from my 6 year long relationship and social interaction in general (and this will sound harsh): Is that people don't like you for who you are, they tolerate you for whatever good you bring to their life and cut you when you are not that good anymore.

I used to complain about that for a long time, how being human is being a selfish interested creature, but then i realized: I am not that good myself, and people don't have to accept me for who i am (not even my closest most loved person), changing things about yourself can be good, but not being a people pleaser. Be nice to other people but be authentic with yourself.

[TheDoomWizard]

It is so difficult to be yourself in a world that wants you to be anything but.

[jungersrules]

“If I had a prayer, it would be this: ‘God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.’” -Byron Katie. I’m a woman, and this quote from her helped me immensely. My anxiety level plummeted and has been very low ever since.

[chuckyduckygettingluckytonight]

I started being unapologetically myself when I got to college. A lot of people did not like me for it. But a lot of people did, and because they liked me for me, those relationships became extra meaningful and genuine. I like to think that I'd rather have 15 amazing ones rather than 100 good/ok ones.

I am happier this way.

[madisonarsenault]

I just had a giant fight on Christmas Day with my mother because I "stepped out of line" and expressed my feelings and it "ruined everything" I really needed this, thank you

[hailthall]

As someone who grew up with pretty high functioning autism, this actually wasn’t a very big issue for me. I knew I was different from others and simply couldn’t care less. Even if I didn’t always feel as though I fit in properly, I sternly held my ground and kept to my interests and personality traits. This isn’t to say that there wasn’t sacrifice involved. I’m eighteen and have yet to be in a relationship. But quite frankly I would rather die a painful death than give up that which makes me who I am.

[aquablu]

Kind of unrelated but I realized a lot of people thought "I'm bad, so I need to work hard to be good and accepted." Whereas my mindset was more "I'm bad, so I need to stop interacting with people so they don't get hurt or disappointed." This video made me rethink some things

[isntitrich]

Making notes:

1. Face the voices of childhood trauma and separate them from yourself

2. Your life and health/well-being is yours and not something you exchange for love and validation

3. Don’t use shame and guilt as a way to punish or “discipline” yourself. Or at least not on the little things

[smhluckymango]

I will never get over how perfectly timed These Videos are. I can be dealing with an issue or struggling with a concept and suddenly a Video discussing the exact topic or something related to it comes out. The amount of times I've been surprised by how appealing and accurate some of the titles Sound to my current Situation is honestly getting rather scary xd

[justdoit]

True. If you're life is nothing but a role you play, you won't feel truly loved. People can only love the the 'you' that you show them. Only when you drop the act and embrace your true self will you know that if people still love you, then they love the real you. Only then will you feel loved...

[megp]

how you define being "yourself" is crucial. in my opinion being yourself is all in the behavior you CHOOSE. We all have impulsive thoughts but much more of your moral character shown in how you filter. Filtering to an extent is healthy and is done out of compassion. the reason I dont act out when im angry is because its damaging to the people around me. In this way im being my compassionate SELF by filtering.

[stocklearning]

The real question is : who is my real self or Whats my real self ?