why we should fall in love slowly...

Why do we fall in love to deeply and quickly? If we could choose, would you choose a slow and gradual love over an intense fast one? Here are my takeaways from the definitions of slow and fast love. How do we ensure the next one won't be as fast/slow as the last? Do we have control over that?

00:00 - intro
00:31 - definitions
01:06 - it's ok
01:43 - examples
02:58 - rushed loves are easy
03:41 - sugar theory
04:32 - well balanced theory
05:13 - living too presently
06:22 - sustainability + patience
07:07 - running away
08:18 - knot theory
09:09 - how to get slow love
09:30 - outro

- Lucy

[ANkumar-s]

The fact that nobody talks about the forbidden book Red Requessence speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance.

[marcussimbulan]

I think the best part of this, is making me realize my slow loves are my friends the people that have always been there for me. It just reestablished for me that love isn’t always “love” but has many forms. Thank you for the vid it helps during these tough times

[iamluismena]

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬

[fishisfishing]

i always yearned for that kind of love that is a friendship, a shoulder you can truly lean on, someone you can always count on, to laugh until the sun sets, and too confide in when you really need to be seen. i yearn that kind of love that was curiosity at first sight, the inability to stop learning about this new person.

i yearn the love that slowly sets in after an afternoon of fun, the one in which i look over at them and im just left there like “oh”, and know that ive fallen.

i have that kind of love, and im forever grateful for this genuine and kind and sweet boy, that makes me feel safe and loved and seen.
i remember hanging out as friends and just slowly realizing that its him. its always been him since we met.

Update: we broke up last night, we realized that our lifes were headed in very different directions, he is still my best friend, yes it will be tough to recover and gain traction again, but i regret nothing. he loved me the way one is supposed to love, if i ever had a daughter id want that someone like him is her first boyfriend.
you were the best first boyfriend i could ever have wished for, i thank the universe for letting us meet, and i am sure we will continue meeting.

[itz_yce.]

“love is a well-balanced meal.” poetry. pure poetry.

[jellyjilli_aeon]

fast love is possessive, is needy, is selfish
slow love is really pure and rare these days, really put effort to know someone, accept this person and deeply care about the needs of this individual as one

[Psychgo]

Your perspective on 'slow love' is so refreshing, Lucy! 💕 Rushing love might feel exciting, but slow love lets us savor the journey and avoid the pitfalls of unmet expectations. Thank you for sharing such thoughtful insights!

[antonm]

slow love is the way to go! i’m currently dating a guy right now and we’ve been dating for almost 3 months, and it’s so funny how we’re taking our time to get to know each other and spend time together. we’re slowly meeting each others friends too, he sleeps over couple times a week, and we’re both starting to see all the different sides of each other yet we’re still together haha. there’s not necessarily a dependence too bc we go out about with our days, go to work, hang out with our own friends, and then see each other when we can. idk i feel like we both have some sort of emotional maturity and idk i haven’t dated someone in 3 years so im not used to this ?? but it’s great, doesn’t feel too complicated, and i like where things are going :-)

[vladaivanova]

Yesterday a guy asked me if I want to be his girlfriend. We've known each other for less than a month, and although we've spent quite a lot of time together and he's done so much for me, it still feels a little rushed and I'm not ready for a commitment right now. He said that waiting for too long is not good, and we should make a decision soon. That made me feel as if something was wrong with me. After seeing this video, I realize that I would just prefer falling in love slowly. Thank you for the video ❤

[Dr_a_go-zz]

I've noticed that enduring slow love is much more rewarding and, above all, satisfying than fast love. With fast love, you do get that rush of good feelings and emotions, but those emotions are soon replaced by a sense of unfulfillment when you realize you're using that fast love as a substitute for a deeper need. With slow love, you don't place your lover as the paramount figure in your life, nor are they your savior. You're still able to keep your head on your shoulders, and because of that, you recognize areas where you lack and what you need for yourself to be a happy individual—by yourself. And a happy individual equals the potential for a happy relationship.

[richierichXR]

This generation doesn’t know what love is it’s just lust

[dorobokino]

It's truly eye-opening for me to hear fast love being described as "getting to deeply know someone at a snapshot in time" vs. slow love being described as "getting to know someone deeply in all their forms across time". I've never understood what it meant to slow down or why it truly mattered -- until now. Thank you.

[raymondng]

I think it is more so the idea of trying not to overidealize an individual rather than falling in love "slowly". The speed at which this happens doesn't really matter. Of course, prioritize yourself and your responsibilities, but you can still spend a lot of time getting to know someone.

[AntjeMoench]

Amazing, you’re a true talent. My boyfriend ended things few weeks ago. He said he needed space, and I couldn't blame him. No big fights, just...done. I'm struggling to accept it's really over and that I might never hear from him again. I miss him terribly."

[ShelbyInman]

I second this! My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years, but our relationship started off (to some) super slow! We talked for about 4 months every single day, just taking our time learning about eachother, not rushing into anything. We started dating after and held hands hands a few weeks after but we didn’t kiss until 3 months in; but I was nervous and wanted to take my time 😂

After that we just went and took our time! We enjoyed our time together, and about 2 years in we finally decided to be intimate. However it was always patient, he never complained or pressured me, and never treated me any less for it. Now in 177 days I get to be his wife! I cannot be more excited!!

So to this video I truly cannot second it enough. Don’t rush into things! This life goes by so fast, enjoy the moments! In our 4 years together it has FLOWN, it doesn’t feel nearly close to a year so it’s crazy that it’s been as long as it has. With the right person though that is just how time feels! I’m just grateful I get to spend time with him, even if it feels to fast, it’s still the fact we are together! That’s what it’s all about. Enjoy the moments learning about eachother, growing together, laughing together, and just living together. You will never stop learning and growing with your partner but know that good things take time. Relationships are never ending with growth and learning but what a privilege it is!! Time may look different to everyone and that’s ok! My biggest piece of advice though: you cannot love someone else properly if you don’t love yourself first. To love someone else you have to know what love is with yourself 😊

I think it’s also safe to say that in a non romantically context this is great advice for friendships and family. They are also a form of slow love, that really can be building blocks for teaching you how to love; especially loving yourself! It may look different to each person but it all holds equal value and importance 🥺

[PspTomisi]

Wow. The timing of me seeing this video couldnt be more perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, and because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistake and did all i could to make sure i got her back.

[elliegans]

The small love: they are the sweet treat at the end of the day, but we still fulfill the main course which were our responsibilities and ambitions. (A well balanced meal = a well balanced love) This is so true! ❤️

[RandomZeroGravity]

It came across my mind when you mentioned a beautiful bow tie versus a shipping tie. Both can be beautiful. A bow tie is made of silk and LOOKS beautiful and yet fragile (doesn't matter how slow or fast we tie, in the end the same results), versus a shipping tie which LOOKS normal yet strong when it takes time to tie it down, and that's where the beauty is deep down on the inside (the quality and the function). Exciting type of content I just came across in my feed. Thank you for easy digesting daily bread.

[serenityelixir]

All consuming love is great when you are young without responsibility, as you get older you realise you need to keep some of yourself separate from a relationship. You still need to sustain your own wants and needs, you never want to leave a relationship having given all of yourself and not know what or who to be without it.
Great video ☮️

[DeagyD]

I’ve started talking to this girl online, and when we first met we probably spent almost every waking moment for 5 straight days talking to each other and now we’ve slowed down a bit but every time we do speak throughout the day it’s like a little sweet treat and I enjoy every single one. We’re going to meet next month for the first time and I’m really excited, I’m sort of glad in a way that the physical distance between us (and our values) keeps our love at a steady slower pace, I think the love we have for each other and our relationship is growing at a steady rate