How to know if you're the *sshole in the relationship

More Relationship Advice:

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In this video, I break down the five subtle signs that you might be the *sshole in your relationship and provide practical tools to turn things around. We explore behaviors like emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and invalidation, and offer methods to develop emotional intelligence and healthier communication skills. Recognizing and addressing these behaviors is a courageous step towards creating a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. If you find any of these signs familiar, this video will help you reflect on your actions, understand your motivations, and improve your relationship and yourself.

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Chapter Titles with Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction

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[BeUltranormal]

👋🏻Howdy all! Hope you enjoyed this one! Let me know your thoughts on being the *sshole!
- Chris

[Cornelius]

Losing hope ... just really, really sad and really miss my ex. 5 months since breakup. And before people say You'll find someone better. Just Shut it. You don't connect to other people that easily. It could easily be years before I meet someone like her again. Just devastated. And I'm a really, really good boyfriend/person.

[phrx]

Chris I have a partner whose been through a boatload of past relationship trauma, manipulation, and gaslighting. I've never once called her crazy, dismissed her critisism. I take accountability for my mistakes put effort into them, but I feel like we're at a weird empass to where the mistakes I make due to my ADHD, impulsivity, attention span are triggering trauma based responses and that causes her to lash out at me and accuse me of gaslighting (due probably to a lack of consistency), misunderstood directions and acting on impulse to bring myself joy in situations where I need to blow off steam, or not feeling safe enough to take control of a situation because I want to be as gentle with her as possible, not make a mistake and further upset her. I feel like the passive one whose afraid to take action in fear that I'll make a mistake, I've walked away from situations because I'm afraid of upsetting her, (probably because i misread a social que) that in turn upset her too. Is there any chance you can do a video or is there an introspective you've done where past gaslighting trauma response on a neurotypical partner can be activated from ADHD habits and how to overcome it and reassure her im not one of the people who hurt her in her past? I hear stories of these people and they were absolute nightmares, i encourage her to act on her passions, support her and the people who bring her peace of mind and it doesnt seem like its enough.

[Lenezunigamartinez]

All my life I've feel invalided by everyone around me, until last year that I got diagnosed with ADHD.
Since then, I've been working HARD to love myself and accept that I don't need to be perfect to be happy.
But unfortunately, not knowing my diagnosis earlier hurt my relationship so badly due to my toxic behaviors and the lack of boundaries from both parts.
I've been working on being accountable for my toxic behavior to improve myself and also setting my boundaries, but my ex thinks that is just me trying to change him, me being codependent, and I don't know if he doesn't believe that I can change.
I don't know how to cope with this and that he's also not aware that he also had toxic behavior towards me, like undermining my diagnosis saying that I shouldn't label myself...

What to do if non of the two have emotional safety?

[clodaghw]

How do you recognise these behaviours when you forget all these things? I want to get better but when I am in a situation I forget the last thing of trying to do better and then it seems like I am just all talk about changing?