The Self Was Never Born, so It Cannot Die

A questioner dealing with existential fear asks Rupert to comment on what she is going through.

Rupert says the existential crisis that you're going through is due to the loss of previous activities and relationships in which you invested your sense of yourself. As a result the separate self feels, that if it loses much more, it will die. And it will die because it cannot stand without identifying itself with something.

That doesn't feel like good news from the point of view of the separate self that you seem to be, but it is good news from the point of view of the Self that you are. Because when the separate self loses all its limitations — all the things that it identified itself with — it stands revealed as the infinite. That's good news. That's what you've always wanted all your life. So, don't worry. You can't lose yourself. Everything can be taken away from you apart from yourself. You cannot die.

*This video is taken from one of Rupert's in-person retreats at The Vedanta – 11 to 18 November 2022. To view and book for upcoming retreats (many of which can be attended online via livestream) go to:

Timestamps:

0:00 Facing An Existential Crisis
1:07 What Is The Separate Self?
2:10 A Loss Of Identity
2:39 Your True Self
3:05 Recognising Your True Nature
3:49 Trust The Process
4:39 Losing The Sense Of Separation
5:00 You Cannot Die

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RS23163d

[neoreign]

Here I am, after perhaps the most profound experience of my life and hearing this as reassurance from the universe. You are loved, i assure you all, you are very much loved.

[NoOneAtAll-bzzb]

Was going through a dark night of the soul, and needed to hear this, thank you Rupert.

[ourloveourjourney]

Ive been there and know EXACTLY what that stomach dropping (in my case atleast) feeling feels like, but MAN in retrospect that was (exactly as Rupert said) ALL IVE EVER WANTED! My .02 is that fear only has one move, but once it swings it has nothing left, and once you notice you are still standing after it swings and nothing actually happened in reality (not thoughts) then the fear weakens every time it tries this ALOT. But if you are experiencing this you ARE on your way to wake up, just give it time (in my case 2-3 years after that experience to really come into our true nature) and is it worth it on the other side! Sending SO much love and encouragement to anyone who is at this stage which btw doesn’t last as long as it seems at all in retrospect, but is a stage I think we all likely just about go through on the path of awakening! Blessings! 🫶😌

[tiffanyjoleenbowserdimeco]

The kindness and words that speak through Rupert melt my heart. The self loving and welcoming an apparently separate self home. ❤️

[kellyalamanou]

3.21: .".And now life is cooperating with your deeper desire to recognize your true nature.."
This cooperation led me to Tiruvannamalai spending half the year for 10 years there..
Absolutely Grateful..ॐ ❤ 🙏

[plumeria]

Reading the Upanishads Volume 1 gave me a panic attack. Once I finally recovered from that existential crisis and the heart palpitations subsided, I was open and able to know my true self as an empty, infinite eternal being who is experiencing a 3D human life.

[jeffrey]

Consciousness “existed” before I was born, and consciousness will exist after I die. So if my true nature is consciousness, then I’m eternal and infinite.

[davidalbro]

Just for clarity, the separate self doesn't identify with anything. The apparently separate self can't identify with anything. It is just a collection of thoughts.

The separate self IS the identification with thoughts claiming to be someone.

This distinction is important because it describes the separate self with an accurate level of power. It has none. Every last drop of power the separate self has comes from awareness, our true selves.

[BRINGMLOVE]

A good teacher, especially after one has had a first realization. I understand the frustration of the questioner. Being aware of awareness, what does it mean when you have to experience with it? I used several years to find the answer, meanwhile I found a comfort hearing ABOUT the teachings and understanding what is possible on a theoretical level.

I had to put a lot of practical effort into finding that gap in the mind, but now its effortless. What I found frustrating with teachings like Spiras before I had the experience of being is the focus on the effortlessness.

My tip is to meditate with open awareness, just try to not control the mind at all. But you dont think every second, when i close my eyes there is thought, but there is also a black canvas. Seeing that was the start for me. When i close my eyes know now, there are no thought, its just silent (mind) - black canvas. Even when feelings arise I have this silence with me.

And I would not focus that much on being in the beginning because Its like beginning on level 8 in a video game. One of my favourite teachers, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, says "Meditation is about awareness, and awareness means knowing". I would focus on learning to notice different kind of experiences that you already know. One of the easiest for me is frustration, for example if you don't the bus. Seeing "ah, im frustrated and i know that im frustrated". That is to me a crucial skill to have. If you dont know that you are frustrated, how can you know being?

I would also use different kind of teachers. One of the persons that thought me most both on is Echart Tolle which explains great both when it comes to being, but also when it comes to how the conditioned mind actually work.

[ip]

Raised 4 children/ people...now they are grown it feels like I loosed them and with them deeply me my purpose of life ...but one day I rejoice I hope 😢...

[epicbehavior]

Everyone should watch the video “The Egg”

That basically explains what’s really going on in more layman terms.

We are all just the universe experiencing itself.

[billyfuelrider]

I had an experience that brought so much fear to the separate self!! Everything for a few seconds started to disappear and the separate self panicked as It thought it was dying and i was leaving my wife and children. I know deep down this is who survival mechanism but the fear was overwhelming to let go completely

[faisalsalahuddin]

We live as believers on the surface, but inwardly we are not believers, because that is the test for every human being. When a person hates himself, he hates his inner self, and God created him on the hated Tuesday. We must reflect on ourselves and how to purify ourselves with the water of life.

[Terrybear]

The illusory separate self begins appearing around 2 years of age, memory of a 'name' etc acquired from parents etc focusing their attention on that 'body'.

[faisalsalahuddin]

The human body is the one that expires, but the soul and spirits go to their final destination.

[onreact]

The body dies. Yet you are not the body. It's just the medium for consciousness.

[dg]

how does it even exist to begin with? it's hard to be involved in a universe that doesn't make sense

[gracesanity]

Oh l am alive alright. Feel all the pain of life. Pinch me and it will hurt.

[bluntforcetrauma]

If you are searching- This is your sign.

[malabuha]

It's so funny how people beat themselves up for identifying, generating or having an ego, while the basic function of the mind is to identify. It would be abnormal not to identify 😅 and that's not really funny, it's actually absurd. It's a conflict of mind