Two Hearts of the ENFP - INFJ look at the ENFP Inner World

Hi All, In this video I talk about the two hearts of the ENFP.

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[benwells]

To be honest, I as an ENFP, feel guilty because upon learning of my type, I realize I very much do this to other people, and can often times have that affect on them, where they feel they've bonded with me on some deep level, but in my mind, they're just another person. I've come to see this dynamic, the Ne realm, though, as purely a mental exercise. I get wrapped up in someone else, want to know everything about them, and ask all these questions, but once I've figured them out, I lose interest and move on. What I'm actually interested in though, is not them per se, but the emotional information that I can extract from them. I love exploring my own emotions, and exploring other's emotions adds even more depth to my broader understanding of emotion. It kind of sounds like I "use" people, and in a way I do, for my intellectual gain, but I do genuinely love the company of people too. It's just that only very few people get let in, to see my "Fi" realm, and the people that are let in, aren't always by my choosing. It all depends on the sort of connection I feel with them rather than some decision I've made.

[SandiiCom]

(enfp) I agree with this. It's like people fall in love with our "utility", instead of our real heart. We're giving them the understanding, that we truly wish others could give to us. But many people just aren't able (or interested) enough to try to understand us on that deeper level. So naturally they feel much closer to us, than we do to them. We don't wish to "push" ourselves onto people (we're already too intense for most), so we just have to sit back and wait for the very few that are genuinely interested in truly knowing us.

[goldielox]

Yep, as an ENFP, I immediately understood this and can relate to it in my own life. Granted, it ISN'T because I haven't tried to make my Fi my primary "face" or "heart" that I show the world...it's just that when I try to express this part of myself in an open and honest way to the world, it is met back with blank stares or otherwise ignored. This has led me in the past to feel rejected, misunderstood, ignored, etc...which isn't something that my sensitive heart can deal with.

Fi is not a function that is understood or appreciated in our society...it's vulnerable and people are uncomfortable with vulnerable so Fi is treated as something to be repressed or devalued. I have a theory that most ENFP's operate from the Ne so often because it's almost like a "persona" for us...it's easy and it comes very natural as a function so we go with it because it works in helping us "fit in" and making people happy...which we really like doing. But, a persona in that I don't think it's the face we would choose to show the world as often if it weren't for the fact that our Fi function by in large makes us feel rejected by the large majority of people and society. I truly believe this is why ENFP's are the most "introverted" of all the extroverts...because for as much as we love people and being around them, they don't really know who we really are on the inside and we can't show that to them. We can only take so much of functioning in our Ne before we need time to be alone with the Fi part of ourselves that the rest of the world doesn't care to see. It's almost like...we don't want to burden others with it so we simply retreat into ourselves. It can be lonely there...especially for the extroverts that we are, but, if we don't have time to spend time within that function of ourselves we aren't being true to who we really are. The ones who make the effort to know and understand that part of who we are (the Fi part) which I would argue is our most dominant function (though it's considered auxillary), are the ones who will capture our devotion and loyalty for life because it's so rare...and because it makes us feel like we don't have to be alone to be our real, true, authentic selves.

[hazelbrinas]

I think you captured us enfps perfectly with this video. We are very friendly with the outer world and do value people and make them feel special, which in turn makes them think they are privvy to our inner hearts. However we hide our inner hearts very well and very very few people know us intimately, and those are the people we bare our souls to. We might be extraverted but we are very very guarded with our inner hearts.

[catchthatrainbow]

I think this video was great! thank u for ur time on creating it :)
Thoughts of what you said re-worded in my head were these:

As for me, as an ENFP, the fi heart isn't something my type hides.(as you mentioned) it just few ppl notice because theyre soo blown away that a person will actually care enough to listen to them in depth like we will. I've also noticed with my own experience that ppl get soo comfortable with us, and at home with us, that they can see us as an emotional aid and sorta forget that the aid itself has its own thing going on.

I also noticed that were good at camouflage. we dont use it to hide ourselves but rather to step into the shoes of the person were connecting with. we mirror the person were talking to in order to understand them in multiple levels. It happens so much to the degree that i can feel what they feel in such intensity that they might believe i agree with what there saying or living out by how i react back to them. but in reality its just me learning to be sympathetic to them. this making them feel as if they got to know me but in reality nope....not really. They only saw themselves in me. I dont do this to fool them if anything its just them not noticing what iam doing. (kinda see it as a fault in the second parties direction)

in my experience its very lovely when someone sees the Fi heart on their own, without me dropping hints or leaving traces of information behind. because its the highest form of love someone can show me. it sends me a flag that that person can step out of their own head and see their surroundings without their personal filter. it makes me feel the person is perceptive enough and thoughtful enough too know who iam regardless of what i do.

I think some ENFPs can give the love they want to receive emotionally through all these extrovert ventures. they go out of their way by asking questions first and poking into ppls hearts that way. so if anyone shows us that same assertiveness, it will forever stay with us in our heart.

i think thats why we go ghost on ppl to. it not cuz were mean, (not for my case anyway) it just u cant have a relationship with one person. a relationship is made of two ppl. and the person that the ENFP seemed to have captivated hasnt really fallen for the real ENFP. so the relationship is built out of one real person and one person who was simply an emotional reflection. they fell for a ghost, for themselves really. (sounds pretty cold but its sorta true) They fell for something that made them feel good. and i think thats good and well for the momment when the person needs a pick me up. (like a phycologist or what not) but ENFP need real friends. their not being selfish in my opinion. i just think thats only commen sense.

my thoughts anyway~ sorry if my wording was confusing

[Tridus]

My take as an ENFP is the following:
When I am at Ne heart, I am focusing the other person's point of view and experience. But with the Fi heart, I am putting myself as the focus. Since ENFPs can make other people feel comfortable in their own skin and offer advice, it is a win-win kind of situation. But other types are not as good as ENFPs to make us comfortable. So letting other people know my deep fears, hopes, values and etc comes at a huge risk. ENFPs know they can stablish boundaries with Te, but even after that the damage is done. Besides, they hate to "feel forced to" use their Te, so they will only try to reveal the Fi Heart if they feel pretty much sure the other person will really take in the information in a non-judgemental way.

[chonyemorozow]

I never noticed that! This is definitely true, and I'd add that there are three levels.

The first is the humanistic, bringing joy to basic interactions. Smiling and enquiring about the cashier or taxi driver's day. I don't really care too much, but we both walk away feeling happy.

Then there is the level where I care about the person and want them to feel good, so we encourage them, interact and be there for them. We have a relationship but we don't really care for them the way they care for us. We give them what they need, but don't open our own vulnerabilities to them.

The third level is the inner circle. Close family and friends with whom we share a deep, two way relationship. We know they are there for us, we can trust them with our true feelings. We can have deep conversations about emotions and our challenges, knowing they understand and care.

[mattr]

Very good video. We ENFPs gotta be careful of this sort of unintended manipulation and subsequent abandonment. Ne is hard to control and always wants to go the next thing. I never act deliberately superficial. Ne is very much concerned with every individual it encounters. But it is a very ravenous mistress with a wide ranging palate in which very few people possess all the flavors within their personality to quench us to our satisfaction. We get bored and are super curious. We are basically children. But we really do love people a whole lot:)

[GibbsVonSemperFi]

Perfectly explained. I can boost people and make them feel good, but this is for their own benefit. I do not want anything from them, it is just to support them and show them the beauty I see inside of them. It is a giving process, a draining process. They want more and do not understand me or know me at all. To get into my inner heart, the person has to be someone who has strong values, a decent human being according to my Fi. This is where trust and connection start. But than just as important is understanding. Only rare people can grasp deepness of our understanding.

[saihajmangat]

This helps me make more sense of myself. I often find that people think that they've bonded with me, or that we're oh so close. But truly, I don't really think of them that close. I rarely let anyone in and I don't really pick and choose who I let in, but sometimes people think they know me and they'll even boast about it while I feel really misunderstood by them. It's like, I'm an open book, but I have a secret compartment that you can only find if I show it to you, and I don't show it to anyone.

[Eponagirl]

Thank you for deepening my understanding of the ENFP who I’ve fallen in love with. I am an INFJ and hope that one day, if we ever go out, he will allow me to lovingly embrace the sacredness of his two hearts.💕

[brainiacK]

Thank you. Few understand us as well as the INFJ. The dichotomy you limb is my struggle. I attract many people when I’m about my business in Ne (extrovert iNtuition). I flirt almost uncontrollably, when my empathy detects someone’s poor self image needs a bump. Often mistaken for infidelity or lust, this would be dead wrong. Few are allowed into my inner world. Few understand how impossible it would be, to be unfaithful to my lover. My Ne has allowed me to be played over and over again. My Introversion, in my fortress of solitude, reveals these things to me but I must practice projecting this true side of self when out in the world. Creative work feels so right it can be easy. Details, bills, birthdays, legal-medical docs-I can barely cope with. I’m thinking about hiring a handler for these things, I’ve screwed up in this domain so badly and hate myself for it sometimes. My Ne, you will have difficulty forgetting. My private space can hold maybe one to three intimates, and as many dogs as you’d care to give me. 😃

[ninacohen]

In Chasidus there IS the concept of the Outer Part of the Heart (chitzonuis ha-lev) and the Innermost Part of the Heart (penimius ha-lev). The ENFP (using his N-e space/gifts) is a Philanthrapist of Spirit, sharing his ideas/feeling of the world (offering hope, reassurance, acceptance)TO the world. It is an act of sincere love. This Outer Part of the heart often touches the deep parts of his 'receivers' In order to protect both his students and himself he refrains from sharing his inner heart. (You can pick up a tone of the 'impersonal in that N-e space)'.The with-holding is not motivated by hypocrisy, but by protection. His inner heart is not finished, polished, ready to 'share' with the world. It's a 'work in progress' where his idealism falters and suffers with realities, and he struggles with sorrows and his individual challenges. His Innermost Heart is shared by a select few. (My thoughts, anyway. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. By the way, are you an Illustrator/Visual Artist? Bravo on your representation of the Twin Heart of the ENFP!)

[DoglinsShadow]

I'm gonna send this to one of my best friends and let them they know they have my Fi heart

[cristinaadam]

You are spot on! For me its like ....almost everybody is in the Ne zone, and maybe 3 in the Fi. and its fine, i like them all. I feel like there are so many personsas living inside of my Ne, that i can choose from that bunch, the perfect one to interact with a certain person. Its like i intstantly know someone and know exactly what they need, or what will fit them..this used to be so much fun, it was like exploring, or trying out dresses..but as i got older, i felt like i wasnt being true to myself, like i wasnt truly identified with none of this faces i show people, like i was so full, and so empty at the same time (this revelation came on Fi, in my safe space, meanwhile using the Ne, it felt ok). After some years of agony, of blaming myself for being a hypocrite, after keeping the Fi just for myself, i started meating people that i can connect more deeply with, and its nice. i have also learned, not to engage with everyone i meet, to keep it to myself sometimes..long rambling....anyhow, i like your videos!

[evoLTenshi]

It's...very accurate, and you might get an intense reaction if you're able to go past the first level (Ne) to reach the second (Fi). Idk about you guys but it genuinely scared me and made me get defensive. I HAD to be completely sure of the individual, before unlocking my Fi persona. It just asks a lot of an ENFP to do that. But it's amazing if someone actually strives for that, to make a real connection.

[HakimJamil]

It is truly joyful when the Fi is also loved and appreciated as well

[persephone]

I can relate to this . I sometimes don’t realize how demonstrative and warm I am. This has already gotten some people to misunderstand me as being flirtatious; ( I’d usually find out later)

FYI I love all your videos ! Those about INFJ have given me insight on how to understand them too. Thanks 😊

[zahlimcburney]

Oh my word!!! Why are you telling our secrets??? Bro!!!


This was soo good though.

[sandraumney]

first reaction is, yes, i do have a hidden inner heart for a few rare souls. feels like a trust issue-once bitten, twice shy