Dumbest Answers in History | People Stories #298

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*in history class
Teacher: why is it called the Cold War?
Student: because they fought in the snow....

SB-qhps

6:50 sounds like the kids may be better off is she lost custody

keybored

Years ago I was figuring out how many packs of tiles I’d need to do my bathroom in the DIY store and I was still with my ex at the time and I was doing my calculations fine on my own and started loading them into my trolley when he says loudly drawing a few eyes-“that’s completely wrong!”
He takes the piece of paper and makes a show of writing it out “correctly” and is wearing a smug af smirk.
I stare at the number in shock and ask trying not to laugh- “erm why would I need 300 full packs?”
He says fully convinced I’m still wrong- “because you’re doing the whole room!”
In his calculations I wasn’t just just tiling the walls but filling up the entire room with tiles to make a solid ceramic cube.

Katie_Woo

Not a reply to a question, but I once overheard my Mom having a conversation on the phone where she referenced, "All 52 states". :/

GarrettFruge

“Guess it wasn’t meant to be”

I hope the custody judge feels the same way

redram

In highschool in Texas I had a summer job working in the oil Fields. They would post us one or two of us at a time and then move on to the next site. When it came time to pick all of us back up, we went to a pipe line pumping station to pick up one man who was servicing it. He was standing outside holding one hand wrapped in a bloody cloth. The foreman ask him what happened. He replied that he put to much oil on one of the pulleys and when he touched it to wipe the excess off, it took his finger off instead. He said it happened like this and then touched the pulley with a finger on his other hand, promptly losing that one as well. They were able to reattach the last one but not the first.

robertphillips

Restaurant
What's your order?
me : i'll have one punch man

ishowhalal

Text: Dude I saw from my window that the wanted murderer we saw yesterday on the news is trying to bardge in your house, I'll call the cops, while you hide. THEDUDEHEISTEXTING: I'll come and tell him to leave us alone, we should not let our haters bother us they love the attention, I'll only tell him to leave me alone, ignore him and relax finishing my meal at our dining room.

wilfarplaylay

I was quizzing my friend on cars and asked him what BHP is.
He said it’s the horsepower of the brakes 😭✋😂

Inanabananana

I wear my sunglasses more in the winter than the summer because the snow amplifying the reflection.

Lukelins

Actually, you DO measure time in kilograms. In some states, more than 1 kilogram equals intent to distribute, conspiracy, and possibly international trafficking, which will get you 20+ years...

BlueSkyCountry

Not really a question, but I was complaining to my brother about my lack of success with women. I told him that all of the women I liked said, "Let's just be friends". And he said, "What's so bad about that?" I reminded him that if his wife had told him that, he wouldn't have the son who he adored.

booksteer

that last with the vegan and leather gets me when I see people talking about cruelty free beauty products but then they have their designer handbags made from cows and baby lambs

imananonymoususer

"It has to be someone's son, why can't it be mine" is like saying "it has to be some one's son marrying my daughter, why can't it be my son?".

mubeensgh

I was the one who gave a stupid answer/reply. I was driving home from work one day, music playing and came to a stop at the red light. A truck pulled up beside me and the person started a conversation. Before the light changed, they asked "can I get your number? I'd like to go out sometime". It finally hit they were flirting with me. I'm not used to something like that as it doesnt happen often. I am also married. You'd think it had been the easy normal response to say "I am sorry, but I am married."

....my response? "Sorry, I only have my cell phone and I don't remember the number".

Still feel like an awkward idiot to this day responding like that.

Saora