How Being Ashamed of a Truth Causes You to Gaslight People

Being ashamed of a truth causes you to gaslight people. In this episode, I'm going to explain to you why you gaslight people and why being ashamed of a truth can be the cause of it. She goes on to explain how denying a personal truth causes us to unintentionally gaslight the people around us.

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Teal Swan is a bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.

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[deviworkout]

Very interesting perception of gaslighting: That we too might be gaslighting others, simply because we are not congruent with our own beliefs and values.

[darthfiende]

I've ended multiple friendships over unintentional gaslighting. The denial prevents any intimacy from occurring, and I got tired of the whiplash between their words and behaviors.

[GrahamMilkdrop]

Society has been built on the shaky foundation of denial. From that stems nearly all of our problems.

[andrew]

I can see times where I've done this to people unintentionally (seeking to do whatever felt comfortable to me in that moment), then later realized what I did and shamed myself for it, feeding into a loop I created which serves me in a totally dysfunctional way. It is so difficult to learn how to be yourself around everyone, *consistently*. If the programming is bad enough, it's hard to even have awareness of what you're doing while it's happening; it's like you forget who you are and automatically and subconsciously flip into whatever person you think the people around you need you to be. It makes it even more deeply confusing when you know it truly is what those people need (at least in part), but refuse to consciously admit (and actually believe) that you can't be that for that person at that time.

[kangaruchi]

My ex-partner lives a secret double life as a bisexual. At 62 he's still closeted and this video describes his behaviour perfectly.
His (conscious or unconscious) lies, pretence, gaslighting and incongruous behaviour affected me socially, emotionally and psychologically.
For 5 years I was a mess constantly walking on egg shells whilst trying to make sense of it all!!
I left the relationship the moment I discovered the truth not because his sexual orientation but because I had no energy left in me to confront yet another battle that he would always deny and punish me for.
Leaving the relationship was sad but such a relief for me!!
(that was two months ago and I wish him well)
Thank you for this video Teal.
Tears in my eyes. 🙏💙

[jaynebarry]

My sister does this. She is so afraid of giving up her adult tantrums, that she is willing to build a false world, with a false cast of characters, just to maintain her “ right” to abuse others. It’s difficult to live with as I cannot afford to escape. My heart goes out to everyone out there in similar situations. Stand your ground when you can, don’t let them in your head, and love yourself. ❤️

[jennystephenson]

How to go about finding my personal truth when it’s all buried so deep in shame and regret..? Teal, I love your videos- you are an amazing gift to this troubled world 💕

[queengoblin]

This happened to me with an old roommate. He was so ashamed of who he was that he actively lied to my face and it caused me so much trauma I had to go to therapy. I knew he was lying and gaslighting me but he was so in denial he would deny it and compound the gaslight. I could feel his shame whenever he walked in the room, he was so ashamed that he couldn't even see that I wasn't judging him and wanted to genuinely be his friend.

[Missgevious]

I can see how I may have done this - growing up as a white female in a wealthy Australian suburb in the 80s, I was into rap and more tomboy clothes and activities. This was when girls all wore bows and little dresses and talked about things I thought were boring. I also had a very big personality who would joke at explicitly obvious things in life (like Seinfeld style) and it was not socially ok as a female to be so expressive. I never felt like I fit into system. And this caused me a lot of social and family rejection for just trying to fit in whilst being “me”, and this has led to a lot of trauma embedded in my system, I shut down all these traits and ended up developing multiple chronic illnesses to the point I was bed bound. I’m still trying to unravel this mess in attempt to heal and regain some kind of life outside illness and I’m now 45.
All the traits that were ostracised when I grew up are now “cool” traits to have! A female rapper, wearing clothes outside of current fashion, being a philosopher, into ETS and metaphysics, being super expressive and being able to kick a football - I was way ahead of my time in what was socially acceptable.
I now live such an isolated withdrawn life because of all the suffering from being beaten down when I would attempt to be myself - I have such a fear around being honest woth others in what I truly believe am who I am.
I believe this is just part of the journey of life to learn lessons and grow. I truly hope I can get back in touch to that deepest part of my truth so that I can share my gifts with the world and get outside more. Thanks for listening ❤

[Tarolyn]

This is basically my life. I’ve always been very psychic with gifts of illuminating the truth and people would gaslight the hell out of me because I was always intuitively picking up on their real feelings.

[Nina_Kowsari]

Oh this was a good clarifier for: "If you want them to see the truth, you gotta work with whatever gets them into resistance about seeing the truth". I always see that quote and think how? lol :) <3

[mrclickclickboom]

Man there are no words for Teal. What a gift to all of humanity ❤️😍🎁💙

[danielbarrera]

And what Teal said regarding shame in another video causing vicious ailments like kidney issues is so apparent now!

Because my kidneys are like literally saying, "Phew! Thanks for taking that load off!".

[tpriestess]

Teal
You are the first person I have heard actually speak about unintentional gaslighting!
This message really helps me!
Thanks a lot !
You really get down to the roots❤️🦋🦄✨

[tanickasinclair]

This is Jennifer Sinclair. This video is my mother to a T. My mother grew up poor and is constantly "ashamed" of everything about her life. And she gaslights people all the time.
I have called her out on it ALL MY LIFE. As a result, my mother considers me the blacksheep of the family and has told me all my life that I "enjoy" fighting, and that I am a troublemaker - oh and that I have "an anger problem" (even though I haven't ever had any social or legal problems with anger EVER).

[ida]

"How being ashamed of (yourself) causes you to gaslight other people" this sums up my relationship with my parents all my life till this day. They do everything to keep themselves safe from their own Shame - and it's more important than how I feel. And THAT is the EXACT way I've learned to have relationships 🤯😱🤣 Luckily I've found ❤ Teal Swan ❤ And I'm getting my life back. And I am healing everything my parents Couldn't heal in their own lives. What a huge privilege ❤ Though it's scary, sad and challenging ☀️🌟❤

[TheMediumChannel]

This is very insightful into the nature of social conditioning which we must know if we are ever to reprogram and heal..thank you Teal!.

Guilt, shame and fear are excellent ways of controlling people. With this understanding on how we are programmed, manipulated etc. we can learn to step back and observe how we react to situations in life rather than feeding those reaction and in that instance you step out of the programming...and with aware3ness comes the first step of change, Don't accept shame, when you catch yourself get present, breathe., let the feeling go..it's not yours, it is a program..then replace it with an empowering thought, or affirmation

[RTHerwig]

Thanks for this, Teal! I've been living in two different worlds for a while now. This hit home for me. Although I have been working on this, I flux between trying to be the responsible leader earner when I'm actually the erratic creative and artistic type that was shamed for being that way by parents, friends, and in-laws. I probably make people crazy with my own gaslighting. In the words of Vince Vaughn in Couples Retreat, "I know my truth." I need a better crop of friends, a lifestyle, and a new creative residence. I know what I want and what I need. Need to just figure out how to rip off the band-aid.

[LawrenceAccountability]

All law enforcement personnel should be required to watch and discuss this in groups annually.

[TrixieTaylor-bndw]

Gaslighting is so awful. It is torture.